Support thread for anyone who is grieving for a parent (2)

[mummylin2495]

Welcome to our new home everyone. This should be where we all start to move on a little bit. Together we will cope.

thanks to everyone xx

and yes mummylin it makes sense to me too, I'm so glad mum was my mum and dad was my dad, even if I want them for longer and can't have them, I had them for most of my life (so far) and I'm grateful for that.

xx for us all

Badvoc, my DD's birthday is also on the 25th. She will be 8. I feel ancient! She has requested a bowling party with a few friends which is nice and easy, so we've booked that. Haven't done anything about a present yet though.

ssd That's a nice way to put it. xxx

My eldest was 10 in June Lego so I know what you mean :)
Well, I had an awful night last night. Have a site throat. Feel crap.
Mum text me - she says my aunt looks terrible :(

Is your mum home badvoc ? What are the hospital saying about your poor aunt . Your family is certainly going through a rough time. Hope dh is being a bit more supportive .
ssd glad the anniversary is over. It's such an emotional time isn't it.
I felt very sad last night when the last night of the proms came on. Usually my mum used to phone me so I could switch the tele over because I like to listen to land of hope and glory. So last night I watched it. Thought of mum and actually turned her photo round so she could see it ! How stupid is that !

She is home Lin. She is coming with us to my pils later.
My aunt goes on Thursday for the results of her biopsy.
Dh is away next week :( dreading it.

Oh dear,maomyounwill be get to cope on your own. But somehow you will and we are here if you need to vent x

Repeat in English !
Oh dear so you will be left to cope on your own, but somehow you will. We are here if you want to vent !

Just had a nice bit of news , my sister is coming down tomorrow to start their house hunting here ! It will be lovely because I will be able to see the two. Girls more , they have 5 lined up to look at so biscuits and t875 time is running out up your way !

Aww mummylin, that's nice. Are your nieces of a similar age to your own children? (forgive me, you've probably already said how old your DCs are but I have a brain like a sieve). It will be great to have your sister nearby :)

I haven't cried much in the last 2 days but got a bit sad today when the children brought the form home from school asking us to update details- emergency phone nos etc. Everything has changed in just one short year- I have always put my parents down as the emergency contacts as they live fairly near, and were retired and able to be 'on call'. But now, dad isn't here, and mum isn't well enough to be able to drive to the school in an emergency. And I don't know whose name to put down :(

My god no . My own children are adults with their own , my sister has two in their twenties. Then she remarried to a much younger man and this was the result ! She loves them to bits and wouldn't change a thing. It was tough In The beginning , but she was lucky enough to have two trainee nannies from the local college to help 3 days a week the worst thing is that our mum wasnt here to see them. She was so excited as well . We had never had twins in our family before. Mum died end of Oct and babies were born beginning of feb . But she has been away in another town with her dh and so we haven't really seen them very much up until now. She is very homesick. Especially as the rest of us are here And since we lost mum She has not been able to have a hug from us when feeling so low etc

That's good news about your sister Lin :)
Well, up and down here. Mostly down :(
Ds2 has got a cough and cold. Only been at school for 7 days! I have some sort of throat virus which is making me more miserable.
We had such a dreadful winter last year with ds2...he has finally been dx as asthmatic (like dh and ds1) but it took so long...he was so ill. I dint think I can do that again. Not now.
I was in bed at 8pm last night. I think the whole situation is finally taking it's toll on my health.
And I can't be ill. Not now.

I wish I could move near you mummylin, I want to be in your family!

marshy, hope today went okay? x

evening ladies, how are you all?

Hi SM
Am feeling horrid...sore that viral thing. Bluergh.
A woman from the council is coming tomorrow with some forms for mum to sign. So many forms....:(
Need to chase up the parish council too. Still haven't got back to me wrt the bench for the cemetery.
And then there is a meeting at school at 3.15pm.
Sigh.
Just want to stay on bed really.

sounds very busy there is so much to do and remember. we too are back to school managed to get in the swing of things in the morning but bed times still aren't so good. hope you feel better is hard to be run down when your so busy!

Hi ssd and all,
Not a great day to be honest. A problem which was identified as benign at the breast clinic 3 years ago now seems to be causing concern. I've has biopsies taken in 3 areas so a bit sore tonight. Results next Monday afternoon. Could be nothing or truly grim. Feeling scared. Miss my mum even though I was the one looking after her for the last couple of years.
Dd is back from holiday later tonight and then off to uni on Sunday. I get results the day after. Haven't decided whether to say anything to her and as yet. I told him I was home from work because of a migraine when he got home from 6th form this afternoon.
Feel like crying

as = ds

Oh Marshy, you poor thing. How horribly scary and worrying. I am hoping upon hope that this turns out to be something non-scary. Have a cry, if that's what you need. Have you a DH there for hugs?

Badvoc Sounds like everything is on top of you; no wonder you're feeling ill. I think grief and stress can manifest themselves in physical ways, and even if they don't do so directly, you are exhausted and run-down, which will make you more susceptible to viruses. Can you postpone any of those tasks while you rest up? Can the school meeting be moved/missed?

How are you doing supermario?

mummylin Of course, now I remember you saying your children are grown-up. Having your sister and her twins nearby is something to look forward to :)

Oh marshy what an awful worry for you. When do you hope to get more results. I can quite understand you feeling scared, but we will be here to give you our support.
ssd I will make you am honorary member if you like.
badvoc how much more are you meant to take on board. I'm not surprised you are getting ill. It's all the stress and your immune system is taking the toll. Sorry to hear about your ds getting ill too.
supermario you just keep going and build up your stock. It will keep you occupied and help distract you a little bit !
To everyone, we are all in this pit of despair, but we can climb out of the pit bit by bit. Whilst we all do this we will carry on and support each other. We can and will do this eventually.
Ps I am keeping an eye on the thread as its not that far from the end now, will let it run a bit longer then start a new one. for you all

Hello waterlego we posted at almost the same time ! Isn't it awful all the worries that people have.i am luckier than most as I have a great family. That's not to say we never have any problems. Of course we do, but we are close . Thank god I have my siblings, they have been great.
What have you decided to do about the forms for school. It's so hard isn't it . I imagine that made you feel extremely sad. O you have a y other close family or siblings in the vicinity of the school who would be willing to help out in an emergency ?

that must be a real worry but try to take care and have some time for you. we are always here to listen and usually someone on pretty often.
i think that when we suffer a huge loss like this we tend to keep ourselves to busy with the needs to be done and the necessary that it takes a long time for us to realise the last time we took a bit of time for us and we arent quite feeling right. its so easy to keep ploughing on because thats the done thing but i dont think anyone would begrudge you a few rest days. bit worried tonight my brother has been talking to my grandparents about changing their will half of what they own will be left to my aunt who they never see ( their daughter ) half was to mum. my brother was telling them that they should deal with it and my grandfather keeps saying no because that is your mums, this will go to your mum. i am really confused as to why he is doing this. he knows she is gone is it just that he cant face doing it or is he that confused lately that he generally doesnt understand what he is saying. worrying me very much

Results next Monday
Not sure how I'm going to get from now to then.
Very tired. Having a day off tomorrow then back to work. Getting dd from the airport in an hour.
Thanks for support everyone

Oh supermario I would be worried too. I guess it could be either of the reasons you've suggested. How old is your grandfather? Does he show any other signs of confusion? Maybe he's just finding it hard to confront the reality that your mum has gone :(

mummylin You are just lovely and I want to give you a BIG hug. What you said about climbing out of the pit made me cry (but also gave me great hope and a feeling of unity with everyone here). I am very lucky to have a lovely family too- I am very close to my brother and his lovely wife, and I have lots of fab aunties (my dad had 7 sisters). They are mostly quite elderly and some live far away but I know I can always phone/e-mail them for a chat. I am very find of my in-laws too so I know I'm really lucky.

For the school form, I have put down the name of one of my younger aunties who lives locally. My in-laws both work full-time so aren't in a position to be an emergency contact. When I looked at the form, it just made my heart sink because it really brought home to me how much has changed in such a short space of time. 9 months ago, my parents were travelling to far-flung places; they went skiing at Christmas! I still just can't really get my head around how fast it's all been. But my auntie was happy to be listed as a contact so I am lucky to have her near by.

Marshy One day at a time, or one hour at a time if need be. If you ever want to chat about inane stuff for a distraction, come in here and if I'm about, I'll chat inanely with you :) Hope you are able to relax a little on your day off. Where has your DD been?

I'm so glad to see that you have a solutionwaterlego that is one less thing to worry about for now.most things there is a solution but sometimes it's hard to see what it is.and so will I chat about inane things if you want marshy anytime.
If Anyone is ever up late at night and can't sleep I am on a night owl thread where we generally talk utter rubbish , but it's fun. No particular topic , just light hearted chat, so don't ever feel lonely any of you