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Bereavement

Find bereavement help and support from other Mumsnetters. See also your choices after baby loss.

Original poster

Misty breeze wraps about my shoulders, thinly clad. I shiver not, despite the coolness on my skin. Comfort, I now feel. Is it you my precious Angel?

970 replies

chipmonkey · 13/11/2012 20:36

Starting a new thread for our angel babies
Sylvie-Rose 16/8/11 to 4/10/11 too short my love, too short.

OP posts:
NorthernLurker · 30/01/2013 19:22

Ladies, I've seen some of you on the stupid, hurtful facebook thread tonight. Just wanted to say I'm sorry you've had to read that crap. You honour you children's memories with every word you write about them and there are lots and lost of mumsnetters like me who appreciate you sharing them with us.

SaintVera · 30/01/2013 22:37

Thank you for your thoughts Northern. It is the first time I have looked at AIBU since DS died. It reminded me there is another world out there x

shabbatheGreek · 31/01/2013 08:44

Morning girls xx

Thanks for thinking about us all Northern. I think there are some people who will 'never get it' and don't want to 'get it.' The OP on 'that thread' is one of them x

SaintVera · 31/01/2013 18:33

Afternoon shabba and everyone. It might sound trivial but had a wisdom tooth out today and the dentist was lovely. I felt cared for which felt very important.

I had to take it easy, which meant I settled in front of the TV and watched Rick Stein touring around Spain exploring the regional cuisine. I felt interested. Interested in travel, food, new experiences, different cultures. Very different from the past few weeks of deep depression and hopelessness. Tiny comforts.

Rapid mood cycles are disturbing and hopeful all at once.

Original poster
chipmonkey · 31/01/2013 20:36

Northern I just wanted to say, you rock! It is wonderful to know that there are some people who have the compassion and empathy to put themselves in our shoes, even though you don't have to walk our path and we pray you never do.

Saint, you will have good days and you will have interest in other things. I found myself looking up camping gear and frontier stoves the other day. Stuff I used to look up before she died. Life will go on, I promise.

OP posts:
expatinscotland · 31/01/2013 20:40

am around, too! Just keeping a low profile as having a rough time, too.

SaintVera · 01/02/2013 08:35

Thanks chip.
I hope for better days expat and everyone suffering badly at the moment xx

ssd · 01/02/2013 10:00

I second what Northern said, totally x

Original poster
chipmonkey · 01/02/2013 10:58

Thanks, ssd, how are you doing?

OP posts:
ssd · 01/02/2013 11:33

hi chip, am a bit up and down, bit sad, bit low.... but can't complain , I lost my mum and that's how things should go, I'm so sorry for the losses on this thread when it works the other way round...the way it should never go.

I'm really sorry, hugs and thoughts to you all xxx

KateRaeganandMichael · 01/02/2013 14:52

Hi all, sorry I havnt been on in a while again and sorry to butt into conversations :) - I have been having a tough time of late as I have been having really really vivid dreams about the twins again - almost as if I could touch/smell them dreams - and i have been crying as I wake up too - (the last time i had anything similar to this was in the S.a.n.ds room) its really the oddest feeling.

so sad to see new names x

KateRaeganandMichael · 01/02/2013 14:53

dont know why the smiley face came up - sorry

Charleymouse · 01/02/2013 16:17

Sorry to hear you are suffering with the dreams KateRaeganandMichael it is so hard and sometimes it is so vivid. I have had them where I do not realise until after I have woken up what has actuallyhappened.

I hope this gets better for you. I used to have horrific nightmares after I watched my dad die but over time it has got better. They are not so vivid and when I relive that time it is softer focus and not as traumatic.

I know I know time and all that; but it really does help. It is still such early days for you and I don't mean to be condescending in that; just that you have to be gentle with yourself and not expect to much and this journey really is two steps forward and one step back. Sending you unmumsnetty hugs. xxx

Charleymouse · 01/02/2013 16:18

Hi everyone

Cheers Northern, thank-you for your support.

Waves helloo!

xxx

shabbatheGreek · 01/02/2013 16:31

Hiya Charley xxxx

Charleymouse · 01/02/2013 16:38

Hiya Shabs xxxx

KateRaeganandMichael · 01/02/2013 18:30

thank you charleymouse.... somedays now as bad as this sounds I forget completely and then I go into my daughters room and see the urn and it all comes flooding back - I just wish that I could have them again - so much so - and this probably sounds worse - that I am trying (and failing) to get pregnant again - my dh is aware and so is going through the motions with me but I can feel that I am hurting him as well as myself - My daughter is 3 now and is constantly asking where her brothers are too which adds to everything... as the song goes I just dont know what to do with myself (lol)......

MiaAlexandrasmummy · 01/02/2013 21:16

Hello all, and many thanks for your understanding and empathy, northern and ssd.

kate I hope you have some peaceful dreams soon. They can be very stressful. After months of no dreams about Mia, I also had a horrible dream last night. We were playing around in some long grass together, and I lost her... very disturbing.

saintvera it is weird how small kindnesses mean so much, isn't it? Yet it does make such a difference. And I am glad for you.

SaintVera · 02/02/2013 03:15

kate, how strange, I was getting ready for a party tonight (hence ridiculous time of posting), and I was singing 'I just don't know what to do with myself'. Because I really just don't know..

shabbatheGreek · 03/02/2013 08:45

Morning girls xx

KateRaeganandMichael · 03/02/2013 10:35

Mia I really hope these dreams go away soon too - and for you and everyone else out there suffering - they seem so real that they are the worst part of the grieving process for me x
Saint how odd lol i've been feeling like that for a while now and the song is just so appropriate

cafecito · 03/02/2013 16:32

hello all

I've finally lost it

I cannot sleep at all...the last time I slept I had the most dreadful nightmares, so feeling huge empathy to you all who suffer, kate, charley, everyone - it's shit isn't it.

I am now hyper hyper hyper and literally cannot sleep. Ihaven't felt this unhinged since after it first happened, a good 4 years ago Sad I think it's the stress of many exams on top

bumped into someone today in the hospital I'm based at who knew of DD as she works at DDs treating hospital during the week - was really bizarre to see her of a sunday morning we had a long chat, it was nice, to know DD is spoken of, and that someone has named their baby after her Sad but talking about those people and those places, made me really miss it, and in turn miss DD and then fall into my pit of disbelief again,

back now closing it off from my brain as I crack on with some work. I hope I will just get really really tired after a few days of no sleep, so that I will just collapse into bed if I go home, and sleep deeply to avoid nightmares! I'm usually quite sane, honest Hmm

thinking of everyone

cafecito · 03/02/2013 16:34

kate, after I lost DD I would wake up every day thinking she was alive and lying next to me - then every single morning I would have torealise she had died, all over again- seemed to go on for ages

SaintVera · 03/02/2013 18:29

oh cafe, I really hope you can get some rest. Sleep deprivation is torment xxx

Original poster
chipmonkey · 04/02/2013 12:04

I don't dream about Sylvie-Rose at all any more. I would love to dream about her but don't envy those of you who have had nightmares, that's probably worse than not dreaming about them.

Kate, sorry to hear you are having trouble ttc. Very unfair that you had your two little boys and are now struggling just to get pregnant.

OP posts:
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