Love, like starlight, never dies - In loving memory of all our darling children gone too soon!

[Bluetinkerbell]

I am the gentle breeze upon your face
The twinkle in the stars
I am the sudden ray of sunshine
That warms your broken heart.

Thank you Whatevertheweather for starting the previous thread! :)

Let this place be a place of support for all of us on this path together, with lots of smiles, lots of tears, lots of hugs and lots of understanding x
A place where 'new' and 'old' bereaved Mums and parents can share their grieve, experiences and memories of their darling children.

Hi ladies xx
Hi FM I know what you mean. It is only (I say only 'cos sometimes it is like yesterday) 2yrs and 4 months since we lost Richard, Yes I manage to cope on a day to day basis. I go to work do my job as well as I did before, keep my house as clean as I did before. I do not cry on a daily basis anymore, I thought when he died in the horrific early days that I would not be able to go on, but I do. The significant dates are awful but I come through. I think I may have started to heal, only time will tell. What I do know is that I will never 'get over it' I am starting to learn to live beside it IYKWIM. Richard is in my head but he is starting to move from the front to the back, this is the only way I can explain it. I will never be the person I was before and people must understand this.
I don't think I will ever be 'normal' again. I am so sorry you have lost your Mum, I miss my Mum so much, she would have stayed with me until she knew it was ok to go, and I am 60 ,take care xxx

Yes, I totally agree with you all. I am me, but a different 'me' than I ever imagined. I will never be the same. Thank you fm, mrskwazii and lavandes for those eloquent beautiful words, and for letting us know that it is ok to feel this way.

chip I am very conscious that Sylvie-Roses's birthday is nearly upon us. I am thinking of you and your beautiful little flower, aching for you.

thanks, Mias.
Her birthday is on Thursday. I have to work on Thursday but have taken Wednesday instead as a Sylvie-Rose day. I have ordered a basket of pink flowers for her garden and will attach a "1" balloon to it. We will have a cake but I'm not sure if I can sing "Happy Birthday" without crying. But then I think if I don't sing Happy Birthday that will be worse. Maybe I will get ds3 and ds4 to sing it.....
And as for singing, how very, very brave of Gary Barlow last night. Dh didn't watch it and when I was telling him what song they sang, he didn't know it still so I started to sing it to remind him. I couldn't get past the second line.

I just found Matts most favourite teacher on FBook - have been searching for her for over a year but didn't know her married name.

She just put (under his photo)

He's never been forgotten xx such a lovely smiley boy x

20 years have passed since we all saw him....20 years for this lovely teacher who fainted in the classroom when she was told about Matts accident. It was her first teaching job. Sat here with big, blobby salty tears running down my face xx

Ah shabb xxx There is no doubt his death will stay with her forever. I work with children with PMLD (life limiting conditions), in the 6 years I've been teaching now 3 of my pupils have died, (two of them since Belle has died) they are all impossible to forget. And of course now they touch me all the more, because I know the awful place their parents have to face.

I'm catching up with the closing ceremony on iplayer. Just at Take That's performance. What a poignant song. :( Have you all seen Jason Manford's response to the horrible people commenting and judging about Gary performance? What an amazing insightful man, great piece of writing. I've written a thank you to him on my own blog.

fm just love xxx

Totally agree fioled. I retweeted your blog post btw. It was very good.

I am not a great fan of Garry Barlow - I prefer Robbie every time BUT I wouldn't wish this awful journey of bereavement on anybody - not my very worst enemy - not even the man who killed my son.

Jason Mamfords words also made me cry today. He is from my 'neck of the woods' and I think he is a great comedian.

There are some strange people in this world x

Morning ladies xx

I also read Jason Manford's response to the sick comments about Gary Barlow. How on earth they can think they know what that family are going through and that they have a right to judge is beyond me. I think Gary was very brave to be able to perform.

I went up to Sylvie-Roses garden and am so upset to see that the couple whose baby dd is buried across from Sylvie-Rose have now buried another baby beside his/her sister. Can't tell if its a boy or a girl, the name could be either. I cried for them.

I wanted to comment on jason manford's post but he put it so eloquently there was nothing to add

I think Gary was soo brave ..how many of us or our patners could get out the house within a week of our loss...

I couldn't, fm. But when Gary was singing, it reminded me of dh, saying the poem "Light" at Sylvie-Rose's funeral. Just about holding it together because he wanted to do it for her.

Miasmummy Thinking of you today, on your beautiful little girl's birthday. Huge hugs xxxxx

Thinking of you as well today chip. Hope you are OK? Will be thinking of you & Sylvie-Rose tomorrow too xxxxx

Thinking it may also be Erin's birthday around now too (Whatevertheweather), but can't find the thread with the dates on, so thinking of you WTW and little Erin xxxxx

the list is far too long

tami thanks for the kind thoughts, it is still a month to go until Mia's 2nd birthday... But the 15th of every month is so hard - and the days in between to the 23rd.

Just in case people don't know, whatever is due to be having a ELCS today for her little girl. Understandably, she is very nervous.

Whatever is having her CS today, so will soon be holding her Rainbow baby, if she isn't already!

Lots of love to you and Sylvie Rose today and tomorrow, Chip.

Looking forward to good news from Whatever, hope she hasn't had too much waiting around and that all goes/went well.

Shabb, what a lovely message from Matt's teacher. Our children touch so many people and live on in hearts and memories. It is always wonderful to be reminded of it.

My Danny gets married on Saturday to his beautiful fiance Emma. Have managed to organise a big party (wedding reception) for the night time. Balloons, good food, all his school friends etc etc. At the reception I will watch his (and Matts) friends have a ball. I wont cry...I will do a lot of sighing though. Our theme is everything is royal blue and white (bridesmaids dresses are royal blue) and....butterflies.

...and this song will ring in my ears. For all the hours, in the middle of the night, I would sing it to him while I was feeding him. After his twin brother, Gareth, died I would rock Danny and sing this with tears rolling down my face. I wish them both a lifetime of good health, happiness and a fiver left in their pockets the day before pay day.

whatever has had her little rainbow girl!!

Awwww welcome to the world little lady xxx

Hurray! What lovely news - babies and weddings

shabs the wedding plans sound wonderful. How you are brave enough not to cry, I do not know.

Thanks Mia xx I am not going to have a drink at the reception...IF I have a drink there will be floods of tears. Its the only way I can cope with the evening. I am a 'soppy' drunk - so will get a bottle of wine and leave it in my own fridge for when I get home!!!

The wedding sounds like it will be lovely, shabs and yet sad at the same time for you xx

I went to see my Mum's friend who is also my friend's Mum. She is dying of cancer and will likely be gone within a few days. My friend will have lost her Mum and Dad within a year of each other. So very unfair.

On the way home, I went to collect Sylvie-Rose`s birthday flowers and cried when the guy asked what the occasion was. I got a big pink helium balloon too and was going to put it on her grave but think I might release it into the sky instead.

oh chip I hope Sylvie-Rose's balloon soars. May tomorrow be a true celebration of love. x