Feeling very down, will I ever be have another baby?

[bunny2]

Since my second mc I cant seem to dig myself out of this hole, I am crying every day, drinking too much (though not loads), obsessing and feeling depressed. The more I search for answers the bleaker the picture gets. The Royal College of Obstetricians and Gyneacologists have lots of info about recurrent miscarriage and I read on the site "A history of subfertility (conception delay greater than 12 months) is present in 25 -30% of women with recurrent miscarriage. It is frequently due to ovulatory disorders and confers a poor prognosis for future pregnancy outcome". Well, I took over 18 months to conceive after a m/c, then was diagnosed with ovulatory disorders and treated only to miscarry again.

So is that it? Should I give up having another baby? The thought breaks my heart.

Eyelash, yes it stopped growing at 8 weeks, I felt something was wrong at about 10 weeks, but the Doc refused to scan or do blood tests. It was an awful time. The LWH sounds great, I looked at the site. What have they tested for you so far?
Bunny, that's just what my biggest worry is. No sibling for her. Thank you for those words it is reassuring to know that. Hope you're doing ok and I'm thinking of you.
I just don't know how I could have one healthy DD and then go on to have 3 m/c's. There must be something.
I am about 90% sure I've lost this one. I will probably ring the Doc and let her know tomorrow what is happening. All my m/c's have started like this and had a loss of symptoms. It would be a mracle if anything was found.
Anyway, putting up Xmas tree and going to my parents for tea. We went for dinner at neighbours last night, it was nice to take mind off it!
Thanks again all, keep posting!! Take care all of you.xxx

Just logging on quickly to see how you are quackers. Hope your doctor is sympathetic tomorrow. Obviously still thinking of you. LWH haven't actually tested me yet as I have my initial appointment on the 15th December. My doctor has taken about 13 different vials of blood so far but apart from the history I am not sure what the clinic will cover.

For all of you - I have got the Doctor Regan book on miscarriages and actually finding it reassuring. It seems to say that even with recurrant miscarriage, if you have already had a live birth then the outlook is very good.

Bunny2 - hope you are well as well. I have really watched my diet over the last few days and been trying to walk more, etc and I have lost 2lbs since Monday - obviously most down to not feeling like eating. I will start a new thread on this tomorrow.

Brunhilda - you are so positive. Gave me a lift to read your post.

Anyway better get back to visitors who will wonder where I have scived off to!

hey quackers, just logged on to see if there is any news from you. been thinking about you all weekend. let us know tomorrow. xxx

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i don't know the answer to that i do know that the pain subsides it takes time, my first child shannon was stillborn in 1997, within weeks i was pregnant with my son and really scared my third child a girl arrived when my son was 14 months old and i miscarried in 2000 couldn't get pregnant again no matter how hard we tried then this june 2003 found to be pregnant only to lose the baby in august on our wedding day , then my cousin has a baby and another is pregnant and i am feeling alone and hurt and extremely jealous but have to hide those feelings

Quacks - not posting much these days so just saw your posts. I'm so sorry. I don't want to give you false hope - but with my first I spotted for a day or so with some major cramps and he is here okay.........still I think you know when something is wrong. I'm really really hoping for you that the baby is hanging in there. How are you today?
Be very very kind to yourself........

Thanks. Lazyeye, you're very sweet posting when you have guests!
I have no symptoms at all now, no spotting either but it took 7 weeks for the fist m/c to start. Thankfully tomorrow they will know quicker and be able to do something. I will ask for an ERPC and have them test the poor thing. Have you had any tests done on yours??
Had a nice weekend considering but I know things go downhill for a while before they get better. 8 weeks is really good for them to get an appointment Eyelash. I believe St Mary's is about 3/4 months. I don't really mind where I go as long as they see me. Will let you know how it goes. Boo Hoo. xxxx

Hi Quacks, no I haven't had any sort of tests. I've had 2 m/c and thought it was no use asking with the 3 in a row rule. If this one were to fail, I would be pushing for some sort of answer.

My mum reckons I can't carry girls.........I don't know where she read about that, but she seems to think boys (i've got 2) are much harder on your womb and make carrying girls harder. Ummmmmmm not sure about that one. But I did know someone else who thought the same. She lost 3 or 4 pregnancies (some quite late at 15 wks), but ended up with 3 boys.

God, I really hope its good news for you tomorrow. If you can face it, let us know.

Quackers - I would have thought it was a hopeful sign that you have had no more spotting! Best of luck tomorrow. I won't be able to log on until late as in work but let us know how you get on.

sammiR - you have been through the mill. So sorry this is happening to you.

Woops, I always get you 2 mixed up, eyelash and lazy eye. Sorry! It's must be the eye thing!

Thanks both anyway. Eyelash, did you ask for tests after your third actually on your baby? How are you today?Sorry I got names mixed up.
Lazyeye,good luck!

Bunny, hana, melliek, thinking of you.xxx

Quacks - I'm really hoping for the best for tomorrow - you'll know - I'll be thinking of you...please let us know (I know you will)
I had blood tests today and the results should be back in time for my appt next week with the consultant. I had to have them taken on Day 8 and will need blood taken again 1 week before my next period which will actually fall on a Sunday , anyone know if I should have them done on the Friday or the Monday? Will read up about that so I can book another appt. I think this one is to see levels of progesterone??
thinking of you all...

Thanks Hana, I would say the Monday, but do I remember your cycles are quite short?? If so, I would go on the Friday and tell the Doc when you go for the results what day and how long your cycle is, they can guage it better then. HTHxxxxx

Good luck tomorrow Quackers. I really truly hope you get a nice surprise. If not, take care.

XXXXX M2T XXXXXX

Phew, back at Mumsnet after sporadic powercuts for the last few days.

Quacks, I will be thinking of you tomorrow. I really really hope you have good news. Try and make some time for yourself before the appointment if you can, so you can gather your thoughts and be calm (says she who was hysterical in a hospital corridor last week). Let us know how it went as soon as you are ready to, we are all behind you with fingers tightly crossed. Lots of love and cyber hugs Bxxx.

SammiR, hi, welcome to this sad but supportive thread.

Eyelash, get you !!! 2 pounds loss, well done, keep it up! I am not near any scales (thanks Heavens for small mercies) but I am still eating very healthily and watching the booze. I mentioned to afirend I was trying to lose pregnancy fat and she looked at me and said "but you already have", could have kissed her! Still got a way to go though. Have you started a new thread for us? I'm a bit behind.

Lazyeye, dh suggested perhaps I cant have girls due to some chromosonal problems (I have a lovely ds)but when I mentioned it to the Consultant he did say it was very rare indeed for a woman to only be able to have one particular gender. Dh isnt convinced though.

How is everyone else?

Thinking of you tomorrow quackers x x

sh** actually - dh htold me earlier this evening that he absolutely cannot make the consultants appt with me next week. Am gutted that he didn't think the date important enough to remember to write down and not schedule anything else (he is taking clients to lunch, something that can't be rescheduled/cancelled) Am just disappointed that he didn't remember the date.

Oh Hana, What a shame. It's not as if you can re-schedule your appointment easily either. Maybe he thought it was that importnat he wouldn't need to write it dowm, I do that, as it's fixed in memory. Then at work, entirely forgot his personal commitments. Are you able to take someone else for this time? Hugsxxx
Welcome SamiR, I'm sorry you have suffered so. Keep posting here.
Thank you all for your supportive thoughts and words. I have been overwhelmed with how much people pull together on here.I'm very nervous and will probably 'do a Bunny' at the hospital today and be a woman possesed!!
I'm going Xmas shopping this morning and may well have to find a few pennies to treat myself too! It's at 3-45 and if it's the bad news we're expecting, I expect to be on the gynae ward by 4pm. I just hope they do take my porr little one and test it and not fob me off. I will have to demand and get shirty otherwise.
I will then be joining the mumsnet diet too and losing the other stone I want to get rid of.
Anyway, lots of love to tou all, you're all very special people and why is it only special people that have so much misfortune.
xxxxx

quackers - thinking of you later hun.
go get your self something nice, but try not too overdo it!

Hana - men hey? Not quite the same but, my dh wants to go skiing in new yr & all the dates he has looked at are around when my scan would be grrrrr.

hope everyone else is doing ok.

Quacks, go for it and treat yourself, God knows you deserve it. I when Christmas shopping last week and came back with a pair of boots and a fab knitted poncho for ME! By then it was time to go home so still have no presents to give to anyone else. I hesitate to say this because I so hope your pregnancy is fine but, if there is bad news I am sure on the grounds that you will have had 3 miscarriages, they will examine your baby. You should insist and make it clear before any procedures are carried out. Is dh primed to argue your case for you? LOL Bunny XXXXX.

Hana, I'd be pretty p*ssed off if my dh forgot something so important. I get really cross with dh when he wont talk endlessly about my fertility and miscarriages, it rules my life but not his. I guess we are just an entirely different species and have different priorities. On a constructive note, do take a good friend or relative with you if you can.

Yes Quacks - bit of retail therapy never did anyone (too much) harm and hey you can pretend you are buying for someone else........

Anyway, I thought about you this morning on my way to work & I've got everything crossed for you. All the best pet.

Bless you all. Early for you Bunny!!

Well I went shopping and bought ........... PYJAMAS!!!!! What a geek. That's the best damage I could do. On the upside, I got most of my Xmas shopping done!! I'm sure I'll get lots of treats anyway this Sat, will take mty mind off stuff.

Bunny, when you going to get your shopping done? Don't you find Dec goes so quickly!! DH will basically be there for me and a shoulder to sry on. He gives great hugs, but I think he's a little overwhlemed with the technical stuff. However, he knows what we want and need so will demand as far as he can. Hoping they will let me see the consultant not just one of his assistants. This is it then. I'll post later hopefully and let you all know. It's torture isn't it!

Good luck quackers!

Hi everyone hope you are OK.

My thoughts are with you this afternoon Quacks

I went for a scan today just to make sure everything was gone and it has, my bleeding has stopped at last which is good.

I was reading in the hairdressers on Saturday in She magazine about Tori Amos and her recurrent miscarriges. She had blood tests which showed she was protien C and S Deficiancy and had to have asprin and heparin injections, during her fourth pregnancy which was fine

Two questions does any body know if it would do me any harm taking a 75mg Asprin now before I try and conceive again and has anybody had these tests.

I am hoping that I can do anything possible to stop me having to have a third miscarriage.

Thinking of you now Quack's - my fingers are crossed for you!

Her scan was at 3.45pm, so at least she will know either way now. Oh please please please let it be good news.