chip What a lovely sign! I think it is almost certainly a message, as you were so specific in what you asked, and you asked for it when it wasn't expected - which is how it happened xx
whatever that is lovely, children can (as shabba says) accept these things so much easier, they don't need to 'rationalise' their thoughts/beliefs, as such it is so much easier to find comfort.
It is three months today that Tamsin was born - although she would have been 13 weeks yesterday - I'm going on the date here.
Tomorrow it will be 14 weeks since we found out she died.
I'm still struggling. The shock has gone, the hoping it was just a nightmare has subsided, and I've now accepted that this is my reality. Added to that that no one cares anymore... my sister phoned me telling me how she feels like killing herself because she may lose a house she would like if her DH (whom she's divorcing) doesn't pay.... I was so angry, she's upset about the 'area' she may live in! It took everything to not say "get a grip you silly woman" (it's not just that she moaned about houses near where I live as they're "not good enough" for her).
DD1 is too young to even contemplate death. She did meet her sister, albeit very briefly, but of course will not remember.
She does come up to me & lift my top & pat my tummy saying "baby", as when I was pregnant I used to tell her this. She also says "baby gone" a lot, which is strange, but I guess that she's just putting things together.
I feel that my grief is now not allowed. I look at Tamsin's little hands, and her little perfect body, but am aware of people who have said to me in the last week, that they know how I feel. One woman was someone who had an ectopic pregnancy, and told me & my sister how long it will take to get over it, and how I should be feeling based on her experience... I just came home and cried into my pillow. I remember when this woman had the ectopic & I remember her crying about it... but somehow her telling me that she knows how I feel really upset me, I look at Tamsin's photos & feel so lost - that no one really appreciates she was a real baby - fully-formed, 37weeks - more or less full-term, and now she is just thought of as the same as an ectopic (which is awful I know, but is not a fully formed viable baby).
I feel that I no longer really belong on here, I now feel, that maybe I didn't really lose a baby, as everyone who tells me they know how I feel in the last week (there was another woman who had two 8 week miscarriages), are just diminishing the extent of my loss & have dragged me down. Maybe they're right