'The mention of my child's name may bring tears to my eyes, but it never fails to bring music to my ears' - bereaved parents thread.

[DawnOfTheDeementedDead]

'PLEASE SAY THEIR NAMES'

The time of concern is over. No longer are we asked how we're doing. Never are the names of our children mentioned to us. A curtain descends. The moment has passed. Life's slip from frequent recall. There are exceptions: close and compassionate friends, sensitive and loving family. Still look. Still ask. Still listen. Thank God for them. For most, the drama is over. The spotlight is off. Applause is silent.

But for us the play will never end. The effects on us are timeless. What can be said, you ask? Please say "their names" to us. Love does not die. Their names are written on our lives. You may feel that they are dead. We feel that they are of the dead and still they live. They ghost-walk our souls, beckoning in future welcome. You say, "They were our children"; we say "They are". Please say "their names" to us and say "their names" again. It hurts to bury their memory in silence. What they were in flesh is no longer with us. What they are in spirit stays within us always. They were of our past but they are part of our now. They are our hope for the future. Please understand we cannot forget. We would not if we could.

We know that you cannot know, yesterday we were like you. Understand that we dwell in both flesh and spirit. We do not ask you to walk this road. The ascent is steep and the burden heavy. We walk it not by choice. We would rather walk it with them in the flesh, looking not to spirit worlds beyond. We are what we have to be. What we have lost, you cannot feel. What we have gained you may not see. Please say " their names" for they are alive. We will meet them again, although in many ways we've never parted. Their spirits play light songs, appear in sunrises and sunsets. They are real and shadow, they were and they are.

Please say "their names" to us and say "their names" again.
They are our children and we love them as we always did.
More each day.

'PLEASE, SAY THEIR NAMES'

In memory of my darling forever-baby Ciaran. I loved you from the moment i saw those two pink lines, and i'll love you til i draw my last breath as a wizened old woman of 103. You taught me what it was to truly love, and although you could only stay such a short time, you made me a better person and my world a better place. I'm so glad to have known you.

Morning girls xx

OMG I have the worst cold ever feel very sorry for myself!!

Hope you feel better soon Shabs Colds are rotten.

I'm off to the hell that is a soft play birthday party with 20 crazy 4 and 5 yr olds. Then got K's two cousins sleeping over tonight. Think I will be needing later

I feel your pain I hate soft play area thingeymebobs...

They're very loud. And then there is always one child who comes out crying because X was mean to her/him and sits with you and won't go back in.

Perfect description Chip

At least it has wifi

Hi - don't want to intrude but there is a new mums netter in need of your support - I can't link to threads on my iPad for some reason. Her thread is called "my beautiful daughter died". Paraphrasing slightly.

Hope you are all well.

thanks cider I just stumbled upon the thread there and invited her over here!

Hi folks, sorry not been around for a bit... life, yunno?

Thinking of you all, and sending much much love.

dee how's your freezer problem? any news on insurance?

Gah. They won't pay out on the freezer because it's over ten years old. And they want us to photograph all the contents, which i don't mind doing, but they want us to keep the packaging as well, and tbh with it being mostly meat we tended to cut things up and put them in portion sizes and then in freezer bags. And it's a £75 excess, so tbh i don't think it's worth claiming at all

Feeling very wobbly tonight. K has had her older (girl) cousin (nearly 7) over for a sleepover and they've had such a ball but it's made me feel so so sad to think I should have had two dd's now. I bathed them together, we all played a board game and they went to bed in K's bunk beds whispering and giggling.

I know sisters don't always get on but I think I would have been a really good mum to my two girls together. And I'm just so fucking sad and feel so cheated that I'm never ever going to get to do any of that with Katie and Erin. And Katie just loves having another child in the house. She would have been the best big sister

Sorry for the self indulgent post x

Oh lovely ((cwtches))

Theres nowt i can say that'll make it better, there really isn't, but please know that you are a good mum, and just because Erin can't physically be here, it doesn't stop you being her mummy.

Sending much love, sweetheart.

whatever that could have been me writing that yesterday! had the same with a friend staying over! big hugs! x

Whatever > It's not fair is it? I was reading "Alfie's feet" to ds4, and the first line is "Alfie had a little sister called Annie Rose" I have always loved the Alfie and Annie Rose stories and when dd was born, I had thought I would read "Harry had a little sister called Sylvie-Rose" instead. But that will never happen now.

And, now that SIL has had her little girl, I think it's so sad that when we go to MIL's in future that there will be only one little girl that age running around, no companion when there should have been.

Morning girls xx

Its such hard work when the bloody world keeps turning and we just want to get off for a little while isint it? xxx

It is Shabbs. There was a thread last night that made me want to shake the screen - and the OP if i'm honest - but of course you can't say what you really think, can you?

I hear you Shabs ..........

Hugs for everyone x

Thank you guys - it's just so bloody hard when something completely floors you when you're least expecting it. Still feeling very low this morning. Aww Chip K and I love Alfie and Annie-Rose too.

I hear you Shabs and Dee xx

hi all, thank you to Cider, Bluetinkerbell and the other folk who pointed me in the direction of this thread. Not sure what to say. Nothing to say which can takes away anyone's pain.

you don't have to say anything Mia just ((hugs)) and like we say on here one foot in front of the other and don't forget to breathe...

Thanks. Even that is pretty challenging. Much easier to stay still, although I have people around me forcing me to move. (in a good way) How do you all do it without external encouragement. I think I would be quite happy to sit all day, left on my own.

You are allowed to do whatever you want to do, nobody can oblige you to do something you don't want. Everyone grieves differently! It is early days for you! Take it easy x

Mias if it were up to me, I would stay in all day, stare at Sylvie-Rose's moses basket and bawl my eyes out. And when my Mum was staying with me, which she had been doing since Sylvie-Rose was born, that's what I did do. I let my Mum bring ds3 to school and ds4 to Montessori, collect them both, make the dinner and pretty much treat me like a total invalid. In the end she had to go home and it was for the best really because it meant that I had to do those things myself and had far less time to cry.

Morning girls....woke up stuck to my leather settee.....raging temperature, snotty nose and coughing. I remember going to bed and not being able to stop coughing so came back down.....its going to be a long day!!!

Welcome MiaAlexandersmummy.....you dont have to say anything on here my love. Very, very early days yet for you. Im glad you came to find us but just sorry that you had to xxxx