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My baby daughter died. I want her back

672 replies

Whatevertheweather · 30/08/2011 11:22

Hello, have been a regular poster since my eldest daughter was born 4 years ago. Never expected to be starting a thread in bereavement.

I was 35 weeks pregnant last week when I stopped feeling regular movements. A frantic dash to the hospital ended with an emergency c section after a scan showed she was showing signs of a viral infection. They thought we gone in time but when they took her out she was much worse than they expected. She died after about 40mins. We spent 2 precious nights with her before having to leave her there and come home for our other daughter.

I am numb. I can't stop shaking. I hate myself everytime I close my eyes I see 4 red words on a white background 'you should have known'

I just want her back - she shouldn't have even been born yet

OP posts:
NeatSoda · 30/08/2011 11:29

Have a huge [hug].

Can I ask about her? What's her name?

NeatSoda · 30/08/2011 11:29

(Don't want to pry. Just wondered if you wanted to talk about her)

More [hug]

WuzzAndBuddy · 30/08/2011 11:30

Oh how absolutely awful, I can't offer any advice but I couldn't read and not reply Sad

I can't even begin to imagine how you're feeling.

You really couldn't have known though, you got to the hospital as soon as you could, you did your best for her.

Wish I knew what to say to help Sad

LynetteScavo · 30/08/2011 11:31

So, so sorry to hear this. Sad

Life is so unfair. Sad

crazynanna · 30/08/2011 11:31

So sorry for your loss Sad [more hugs]

ComeWhineWithMe · 30/08/2011 11:36

It wasn't your fault and it will get better I promise you.

If you want to talk about her here we will listen. If you want us to hold your hand while you cry we will do that.

We are here for you.

(hugs) xxxx

MrsDistinctlyMintyMonetarism · 30/08/2011 11:38

I feel so sorry for you all. Sad And yet, when you feel at your most alone, you are not and never will be.

There are are lots of people that you can talk to here is just one with a telephone counselling service.

You did your best for your daughter. No one could have done any thing more. Gentle hugs.

RatHammock · 30/08/2011 11:40

I am so sorry for your loss. Sad

ChickensHaveNoEyebrows · 30/08/2011 11:44

I am so, so sorry for the loss of your baby daughter :(. Please don't blame yourself. Please.

StayFrosty · 30/08/2011 11:48

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

HumphreyCobbler · 30/08/2011 11:50

I am so sorry. It was not your fault. We would love to know about her if you feel able to share at the moment. What was her name?

RockStockAndTwoOpenBottles · 30/08/2011 11:51

I am so sorry for you and your family. As above, please, please don't blame yourself. Sad

Thumbwitch · 30/08/2011 11:52

Very sorry indeed for your loss. :(
You couldn't have known. You did everything you could as soon as you realised there was a problem. You tried your best. You did, you really did.

Please be kind to yourself. (((hugs))) for you all.

cera1980 · 30/08/2011 11:52

I'm so sorry for your loss x x

Fo0ffyShmoofer · 30/08/2011 11:56

So Sorry Sad

Whatevertheweather · 30/08/2011 12:09

Wow thank you. She was called Erin she was just over 5lbs and was a much longed for daughter, sister, niece, granddaughter and cousin.

It was just such a shock and so sudden. Id only had a growth scan 10 days before which showed no problem. She was moving the day before normally. I just want to know what happened to her inside me. How could I not have known she was dying Sad we are having a post mortem done.

How quickly your like can change

OP posts:
BranchingOut · 30/08/2011 12:10

I am so sorry, that is desperately sad.
Have you been to the SANDS website? I think there are some very supportive resources and forums there.

faverolles · 30/08/2011 12:11

I'm so sorry :(

spiderlight · 30/08/2011 12:12

So very, very sorry. You couldn't have known though - you really couldn't.

WuzzAndBuddy · 30/08/2011 12:14

Erin is a beautiful name.

If only we could predict things like this happening then no one would have to suffer such a horrible loss Sad
You did your best for her, no one could have known how poorly she was.
Like you say, the scan a few days before showed nothing worrying, the drs did the c-section not knowing how poorly she was... how could you have possibly known?

Come and talk here when you need to, the good thing about MN is that there is always someone around to listen Smile
Be kind to yourself ((hugs))

RandomMess · 30/08/2011 12:15

Sad so very sorry to read about Erin.

vividgingerchilli · 30/08/2011 12:15

Huge huge hugs, and thoughts, and prayers.

vividgingerchilli · 30/08/2011 12:17

there is no way that you could know, I couldn't tell that there was a serious chance of it happening to one of mine.

BettySwollocksandaCrustyRack · 30/08/2011 12:17

So sorry :(

Do not blame yourself, there is nothing you could have done.

MarshaBrady · 30/08/2011 12:18

I am so, so sorry.

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