Love, like starlight, never dies... Our precious children sparkling in the sky xx

[CazandBelle]

"Small was feeling grim and dark. He was playing toss and fling and bang and crash. Break and snap and bash and batter. Small said ?I?m a grim and grumpy little small and nobody loves me at all?. ?Oh Small,? said Large. ?Grumpy or not, I?ll always love you no matter what.?

Small said, ?If I was a grizzly bear would you still love me would you still care?? ?Of course,? said Large ?bear or not, I?ll always love you no matter what.?

Small said ?But if I turned into a bug, would you still love me and give me a hug?? ?Of course,? said Large ?bug or not, I?ll always love you no matter what.?

?No matter what?? said Small, and smiled, ?What if I was a crocodile?? Large said ?I?d hug you close and hold you tight and tuck you up in bed at night?.
?Does love wear out? said Small, ?does it break or bend? Can you fix it, stick it, does it mend?? ?Oh help,? said Large ?I?m not that clever I just know I?ll love you forever?.

Small said ?but what about when you?re dead and gone, would you love me then, does love go on?? Large held Small snug as they looked out at the night, at the moon in the dark and the stars shining bright.

?Small look at the stars ? how they shine and glow, but some of those stars died a long time ago. Still they shine in the evening skies. Love, like starlight, never dies?.

NO MATTER WHAT by Debi Gliori

Missing my beautiful Belle, a year to the day we placed her to bed in her garden. Mummy and Daddy love you, always. To the moon and back xxx

Well they will all react differently...
DD misses Sterre a lot sometimes, even though they never met. She talks about her almost every day. Specially when watching Cbeebies with their new bedtime hour advert, which is a song we had a Sterre's funeral.
Don't think she would say to get over it, but she does ask sometimes if there is a new baby in my belly!

He's 6, shabba. I think really he just wants things to go back the way they used to be.

Ah chip kids do deal with it so differently. I asked K if she thought about Erin much and she said 'Not any more. It didn't bring her back so what's the point'. I was a bit but I guess it's 4yo logic.

Of course you will be crying a lot lovely it's totally natural. Slowly you will get longer periods where you don't but she will never be out of your thoughts. 7 weeks on and I can honestly say I don't think even 10 minutes have passed without me thinking about Erin but I am crying less (or I am more able to control it unlike the first few weeks) and able to function almost normally (on the surface) with K. How are ds1 and ds2 coping? Are you still just feeling very very shocked? Big hugs x

Which is understandable chip... don't get my wrong! He only just got used to Sylvie-Rose being at home with you, she was only home for such a short time! So that is a new situation for him! I think wanting what he had before is only normal!
Have you got some children's books about bereavement? There are a few good ones out there that explain in a nice way about death! If you want I send you some links!

ds1 and ds2 seem to be just getting on with things. There is a counsellor in the school who will see them in due course. I was a bit worried about sending them back so soon but ds1 has big exams coming up and I think the return to normal routine has been good for them.

Whatever I have to confess that I have wondered myself whether thinking about Sylvie-Rose does much good. Of course I can't stop thinking about her but the despair I feel that she is gone forever seems unbearable at times. I know in times gone by, people would rush around putting reminders of the deceased out of sight and I can kind of see the reasoning behind it. For instance, her Moses basket is still in our room as I haven't been able to bring myself to put it away. But its presence and its emptiness are a constant reminder of her absence. I wonder whether putting it away in storage would maybe be better? But at the same time, I feel I want the little reminders..........

that's good that they will see someone!
Don't feel like you have to stop grieving chip just because you've gone back to the normal routine!
You are allowed to grieve!

I know what you mean about the reminders chip. It must be so hard for you because she actually came home whereas Erin was never here in the house. I have pretty much shut the door on the nursery and have only been in 2 or 3 times since. Her Moses basket is in there. It was brand new and still in its packaging. I think I might donate it to the funeral directors who looked after Erin. So hopefully it can help another family in the some way. But I'm not sure. I haven't got any pictures up of her and I haven't looked at them for a while. Despair is a good word for it. Oh love it's so so hard and horrible. How is your dp?

The thing is chip you don't need 'reminding' of her. It's not like you would forget her if her things weren't there. So I guess it comes down to whether you find having her 'things' around as a comfort or if it does make it harder for you. If they are making it harder then perhaps think about moving them. It wouldn't be disrespectful to her at all. And certainly wouldn't mean you are thinking about her any less.

I had to put her memory box out of sight as I found it too hard to see it every day. But I know I can get it out whenever I want to. I still sleep with her blanket every night though and I do find that a comfort. For the first 3 weeks I even took it out with me if I was doing something really hard like going to the funeral home or the first few times I went to her grave. Now I only have it in bed. You just do want feels right lovely and whatever you choose won't be irreversible. If you put things away you can always get them back x

Whatever for a couple of nights I slept with a babygro she'd worn, which still had her smell on it. The trouble is, with babies, that the smell is pretty much sour breastmilk and it gets sourer as the days wear on so eventually it had to be washed! But my aunt had a blanket made for her when she was still alive, which had a sheepskin-type inner and a pink outer with her name on it. I do find it comforting to snuggle up to.
I have kind of felt her presence this evening and my Dad's presence. I do like the idea that he is looking after her, as he was a lovely Dad, great fun to play with when we were little!

Morning girls xx

Morning ladies x

Dee have you checked facebook?

Nooo...hold on...

Have looked but theres nowt there out of the ordinary!

What am i missing?

LOL have messaged you on facebook xx

Morning, any news on caz yet?

Yes on Facebook.....I dont want to be the one to put it on here!! Just to say ALL IS WELL

shabs I dont have her on fb! Can you PM me please?

have done x

Thank you . You are a star!

Ladies,

Sorry to crash into your thread, I was checking in to see if Caz has any news? I can only guess there is and it has made my day :)

You are all amazing women who are often in my thoughts.

I logged onto FBook and haven't stopped grinning since. xx

hehe me too
oh Dee you on FB too?
Maybe we should consider making a FB group

I am, Blue - look under Shabbs friends list, my name starts with HH, and my pic is of a lad holding a red, white and blue shield. Feel free to add me.