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Bereavement

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Love, like starlight, never dies... Our precious children sparkling in the sky xx

984 replies

CazandBelle · 28/06/2011 11:13

"Small was feeling grim and dark. He was playing toss and fling and bang and crash. Break and snap and bash and batter. Small said ?I?m a grim and grumpy little small and nobody loves me at all?. ?Oh Small,? said Large. ?Grumpy or not, I?ll always love you no matter what.?

Small said, ?If I was a grizzly bear would you still love me would you still care?? ?Of course,? said Large ?bear or not, I?ll always love you no matter what.?

Small said ?But if I turned into a bug, would you still love me and give me a hug?? ?Of course,? said Large ?bug or not, I?ll always love you no matter what.?

?No matter what?? said Small, and smiled, ?What if I was a crocodile?? Large said ?I?d hug you close and hold you tight and tuck you up in bed at night?.
?Does love wear out? said Small, ?does it break or bend? Can you fix it, stick it, does it mend?? ?Oh help,? said Large ?I?m not that clever I just know I?ll love you forever?.

Small said ?but what about when you?re dead and gone, would you love me then, does love go on?? Large held Small snug as they looked out at the night, at the moon in the dark and the stars shining bright.

?Small look at the stars ? how they shine and glow, but some of those stars died a long time ago. Still they shine in the evening skies. Love, like starlight, never dies?.

NO MATTER WHAT by Debi Gliori

Missing my beautiful Belle, a year to the day we placed her to bed in her garden. Mummy and Daddy love you, always. To the moon and back xxx

OP posts:
lavandes · 08/08/2011 07:49

Morning ladies xx

Happy birthday to our beloved Richard, missed so much it is sometimes unbearable xxx

shabbapinkfrog · 08/08/2011 07:56

Oh Lavendes will be thinking about you and yours today. Whenever I am cooking I think of your precious lad (because he will be your little lad forever and ever) I blush if I use gravy granules or cook in sauces Smile Happy Birthday Richard - hope you have found my lads and are causing havoc with them.

I am lighting my candle - a big vanilla and caramel scented one....Lew has already started his song....'Appy Urfday to you, Appy Urfday to you, Appy Urfday dear Wichard ........xxxxx

lavandes · 08/08/2011 08:22

Thanks shabs the candle sounds lovely I can almost smell it from here. Hope he has found your boys and they are having a party, playing lots of loud music and eating a huge cake. We took flowers to the crem yesterday, to be honest I don't know why we go, I don't think he is there, I feel closer to him at home. I know you believe in signs. A couple of weeks before the anniversary I was cleaning my fireplace (no real fire) and there was a lot of very fine glitter on it, very weird as we do not have glitter in the house. I cleaned it up and a few days later it was there again. I have no idea where it came from, and there has been no more. Very strange. So strange that I didn't tell anyone for a while, because I think some people think I am mad already. xx

shabbapinkfrog · 08/08/2011 08:48

The glitter sounds very normal (and wonderful) to me so I suspect if you are mad - so am I!!! I really, really believe in signs.

Lew just turned to me and said 'Where is Uncle Matty?' I said 'up on the clouds in heaven darling.' 'Why?' 'Because he died sweetheart.' 'Oh Andma you never told me that.....me thought he was just at his own house!!' 'Died??? What de 'ell is died?' I apologise now but I just burst out laughing!!

So if anyone knows 'what de ell is died' could you please tell Lew.

lavandes · 08/08/2011 08:56

He is so funny I could do with the company of a three year old today. xx

ILikeToMoveItMoveIt · 08/08/2011 09:46

Happy birthday Richard, and huge hugs to you and yours Lavandes. I'll be lighting a candle for Richard tonight x

Shabs - if I knew how to explain it to a 3yo I wouldn't have such a confused M

ILikeToMoveItMoveIt · 08/08/2011 09:47

I keep meaning to ask Lavandes, how is your daughter in law doing?

lavandes · 08/08/2011 10:13

Thanks illike she is doing great, about 6 weeks to go. She gave me a fright the other night, our phone rang at 3.00 in the night stopped before I got to it, when I saw it was her I thought something awful had happened, as you do, I phoned her back and she was so sorry she had her phone in her pocket and had pressed a button and got through to me, but she told me all was well she was on her way back from check up and baby had turned the right way up after being breech for a few weeks, so good news, they are 9 hours ahead of us xx

Minione · 08/08/2011 10:34

Happy Birthday Richard! Hope you are ok LAvandes x

Came back from our holiday yesterday, am 33 weeks today! Still a nervous wreck but possibly less as the due date gets closer! SIL gave us some bits and bobs but we still haven't bought anything for the baby, I guess we should start buying something soon.

Hope everyone is ok x

lavandes · 08/08/2011 11:03

Hi mini am a bit emotional but trying to keep busy. Your baby must be due about the same time as our grandchild. You don't really need to buy things yet, wait till you are ready, the shops will always be full of baby stuff. Just look after yourself. xx

Minione · 08/08/2011 14:00

Hi Lavandes, yes I'm due the 26th September, when is your DIL due? I was in Next a few weeks ago and saw some lovely babygros in the sale, I was going to buy them but I just couldn't and froze before I got to the counter. Hope today goes as well as it can for you xx

lavandes · 08/08/2011 15:03

Baby is due on 20th September. Can you ask someone to get baby things for you and maybe keep them at their house till your baby is born. Do you know if your baby is boy or girl Our grandchild is a boy. xx

ILikeToMoveItMoveIt · 08/08/2011 16:09

33 weeks already Mini, how great. If you want to buy things for the baby then do, but if you don't, don't. Or as a compromise, buy and wash some clothes but store them at someone else's house? Keeping some by for your hospital bag though, because actually I have a feeling thing are going to be fine.

6 weeks until you're a granny again, lovely. Am I right in thinking you are going to visit at Christmas?

CazandBelle · 08/08/2011 16:37

Feeling very weepy today. I've just had a full on sob for the last half hour. Been feeling it all day, but the tears started flowing as I was writing my blog. I wish things were so different.

I think it stems from a weekend seeing lots of Mummy's and babies and over the last week I've been through Belle's clothes and taken out the white/neutral bits for Xander, and been through a bag of boys clothes that my friend gave me. This is probably a response to these monumental steps and fear of things 'moving on' I suppose. Belle's stuff hasn't made it to the attic though. Its all over the landing, neither of us seem capable of putting it away.

Thinking of you today lavandes

mini glad to hear you are ok. Have you got a date for delivery yet or are you seeing how things go?

My consultant has said I'll be induced at 37 weeks, so mid-October.

We've been buying things. but ilike is right, if you want to, do, if you don't then don't.

I remember that frozen feeling well. DH wanted to get a moses basket and I couldn't figure out what to do. He got on with it and paid, and since then and that first time theres been no stopping me really. There is this pang of "what if it all goes wrong again" every time though. I'm so desperate to hold him now. I need him to come home.

OP posts:
lavandes · 08/08/2011 16:44

Yes we are going for Christmas. The way time is passing so quickly it will soon be here. We are just praying all will be well, I know you all understand.

October will soon be here caz and you will all come home xx

Bluetinkerbell · 08/08/2011 16:46

Caz big hugs for you!

I've just come back from holiday and catching up on Facebook, friends of mine have just posted a pic of their 12 week scan and another friend of their 20 week scan! I'm very pleased for them, but I feel sad! At my 12 week scan Sterre was still alive, at my 20 week scan I had the most devastating news ever... I try not to think too much as in I would have been this many weeks pregnant now, but it's hard. My period is about to end, so we can start trying again soon.

shelleylou · 08/08/2011 20:17

Thinking of you lavandes. Will light my candle for Richard now.
mini i cant believe your so close to me in dates im 29 weeks tomorrow. Caz you may well be haivng your ds around the same time as ill have mine. I finially bit the bullet this morning and spoke to my mum about using DB's name for DS's middle name. She knew i would want to do that and has said its fine. So DS2 is now officially D,...... Matthew in tribute to an uncle who i know would have adored him

shabbapinkfrog · 08/08/2011 20:19

Oh Shelley - wonderful xxxxx Smile

shelleylou · 08/08/2011 21:17

I think it is shabbs i would have been gutted if ,y parents would have rathered i didnt use it although i would have completely understood. Especially as im due shortly after dbs remember day. Its lovely to know that DS2's middle name isn't just an idea anymore but is set in stone. >

shabbapinkfrog · 09/08/2011 06:44

Morning girls xx

Minione · 09/08/2011 18:10

Hi LAdies

Lavandes No we decided not to find out the gender.

Caz Hope you are feeling better. The consultant said I could be induced early if I wished but this hasn't been mentioned since so I think its more of a case of see how I am. I have a scan next week but its with a different consultant, so I'm hoping this isn't the last time I'll be seen and I'll get to see my regular consultant again before the birth.

Hope everyone is ok xxx

shabbapinkfrog · 10/08/2011 06:54

Morning girls xx

lavandes · 10/08/2011 07:57

Morning ladies xx

I think using your dear brother's name is lovely Shelley our son and his partner have decided to use Richard for their babies middle name, totally their idea we are very pleased. xx

Hope you are feeling a bit calmer now caz you are always in my thoughts xx

Thank you all for your support on Monday xx

lavandes · 10/08/2011 07:58

I hope everyone living in London is safe. It must have been horrific for you xx

shabbapinkfrog · 10/08/2011 21:39

Think that this lady needs our helpxx