my beloved hubby died 2 weeks ago today - suicide :(

[Blondeshavemorefun]

tbh i dont know what to say - i never expected to post a thread in this section of mn :(

I didnt expect to be a widow at 37 :(

he was severely depressed, and although had some very good days, he also had very bad days and for whatever reason he felt he couldnt carry on and took his own life on Saturday 16th april :(

i know its early days, but i cry every day, silly things set me off, like yesterday changing the duvet cover - it was hubbys's job to do that and i had to do it for the first time

its got to get easier hasnt it? :(

plus need to go and collect dh ashes :(

then sort out what to do with them

that means seeing his dad

'sighs'

You don't have to do anything with his ashes until you want to. It took me ages with my mum, I left her at the undertakers for months and months because I just didn't know what to do. Sorry you need to see his dad.

Your DH had very definite places and things he liked doing didn't he - his love of the great outdoors, going fishing etc? I'm sure you will come up with exactly the right thing to do, but there is no rush at all.

Guaranteed your call wasn't one that was recorded for training purposes, it makes me wish that you could record their twatishness, and expose them on national tv. I can see Anne Robinson on Watchdog really gunning for them Am sorry and angry that you are having to put up with their crap.

Big thumbs up for lunch x

Blondes, my aunt had my uncle's ashes for a year before she decided what to do with them, so honestly there is no need to rush into a decision.

A year later, she felt ready, so her and her boys took a road trip to some of my uncle's favourite places. They shared their memories and made my uncle a little home at each place. A moving and fitting tribute.

i know what i want done with dh ashes

small amount at home with me in a little urn in a red heart

small amount buried under a tree that the boys want to plant where he went fishing

small amount sellotaped to a firework

small amount scattered at crem with a plaque for bil/dad/mum and anyone else who wants to go there - not sure i will but you never know

rest scattered at sea with my boys (and wives/friends) while deep sea fishing and im throwing up like 1st day of our honeymoon - he would love that :)

and i want it sorted soon as tbh i dont like things lingering

What terrible service at the insurers .

Let whoever volunteered fire off a stern email. Just disgraceful.

You have clearly thought that all through Blondes, that is absolutely lovely, and no doubt he will be having a smile at your expense as you heave your guts up on the deep sea fishing trip!

He will be everywhere, and all around, from the stars to the sea. Fabulous x

excalty piste :) forever around me

im babysitting tonight and its hit home that mark will never call me up again - he used to always ring when i was bs, to say he loved me and how was woofa

he brought woofa some bones a few weeks before he died for me to take whenever i bs so that woofa wouldnt pester me

im sitting here on works sofa with tears streaming down my face - i miss him so much and no one can take away my pain :(

oh blondes im so sorry. all the little things that get you isn't it? I don't have any wise words but am thinking of you. I just read what you are going to do with his ashes, sounds lovely. Is there chocolate there? Can you put on some shit tv and snuggle up and have a little cry if neccesary? x

Blondes hope your mb or db has left large box of chocs, take care

I'm so sorry, missing him hurts so much, and as you say no one can take away the pain. I love your ideas for his ashes, never heard of putting them on a firework before.
I hope you continue to get loads of support from your friends x

grw dh was a man of extremes and did make the odd firework or 2 - some went off, some didnt

he loved noise and epically fire and fireworks and blowing things up ......

have a classic video he took on his phone of fireworks, which i have now have on my phone and saved to lappy and itunes just incase i lose/kill my iphone

its weird but nice hearing his voice as he commentates on it

actually have a few videos he did, some of him blowing up things and others of us

Blondes my lovely - promise me you back stuff up on your computer too? Like your precious photos and videos and stuff? Please make sure you copy stuff to DVD and make copies, just in case your hard disk comes to the end of its days and irreplaceable things are lost. We had a hard disk collapse on us recently, and when it went it went fairly swiftly.

If you aren't already doing this, I'm going to nag you, be warned xx

And boy, can she nag

Big squidge

I can also dance on tables should you ever require that.

But what Knotty can't do is organise her cutlery very well.

I prefer using it to poke bissy bossys with.

bissy bossys?

I don't know how to back up :(

Something to do with dongles?

Bloody hell Blondes. This needs sorting.. Are you a Mac or PC?

Blondes, one of your boys must be able to help, can't they?

erm dont know if a mac or pc

and my boys are crap with computers - have enough trouble on fb thats on their phones lol

Fortunately I am very good with pooters and if I don't know I have a technological expert to hand!

I am going to email you later, about how you are going to back up all your stuff, cos it's too vulnerable, and too precious. If you can't manage, then I'm coming to sort it out for you.

You may need to come and do it as really don't know how to

'dumb but beautiful blonde expression on face'

and sighs......