my beloved hubby died 2 weeks ago today - suicide :(

[Blondeshavemorefun]

tbh i dont know what to say - i never expected to post a thread in this section of mn :(

I didnt expect to be a widow at 37 :(

he was severely depressed, and although had some very good days, he also had very bad days and for whatever reason he felt he couldnt carry on and took his own life on Saturday 16th april :(

i know its early days, but i cry every day, silly things set me off, like yesterday changing the duvet cover - it was hubbys's job to do that and i had to do it for the first time

its got to get easier hasnt it? :(

I'm so upset

Just had coroner on phone - apparently the paperwork isn't all in and therefore the inquest can't go ahead on Monday

What the fuck

Sending you a big hug Blondes xx

oh love... a delay is massive when you are steeling yourself for something, i'm so sorry. sending good thoughts.

Can you find out where the paper work is and hurry things along?

It's the report from police officer and doctor plus toxology report only came in in today

I also need to make a statement in person and when I asked why I hadn't been asked to do this and coroner replies that most people prefer to give a statement after funeral - which is tomorrow

I'm not most people - would have prefered before

Have you told them this?

Oh, blondes what a nightmare. It's SO frustrating and upsetting when the people who need to be doing their jobs well just get shown up as incompetent at a time when you actually need them to be quite good at what they do.

Do you have any idea when the new inquest date is? Can you go and give a statement today so that at least that part is done, or now that you're so close to the funeral, do you just want to wait till after?

I am so so so so sorry that you're going through all this crap with unsympathetic, inefficient bastards who are inadvertently making life harder for you you at this very hard time.

Thinking of you all the time, always wondering how you're getting on, big fat hugs coming your way. I just wish I could offer some more practical support for you to help you out. xxxx

Cant go today as manic at work

Tomorrow is funeral

Friday I'm going to stay with my friend as will need away space

Going Tuesday

And yes I did tell them I would have prefered to do earlier and maybe in future they should ask the next of kin what they would want!!!

You'd think that would be the least they could do, asking next of kin when is good for them! SOunds like they didn't even tell you that yuo'd need to ive a statement, let alone ask you when you'd prefer to do it

I am sending tonnes of strength and love through t'internet for tomorrow. It'll be hard, but it will be a big support to see how many people loved Mark and are there for you. Wish I could do more. xx

What a difficult time for you Blondes :(

It's bloody unbelievable isn't it :(

I am in awe of you being back at work even before the funeral. I hope you are getting as much out of being back at work as they are not having to make other plans. I hope you are extracting lots of hugs out of the kids :)

I'll be thinking of you tomorrow
xxx

Tomorrow Thursday 12th May it is the funeral

Can you spare a thought for my darling Mark at 11 am

He was and is my everything

This song will be playing at his committal

Those who knew him well, will reliese that the words for the song are just perfect

I bruise you, you bruise me
We both bruise too easily, too easily to let it show
I love you and that's all I know .

All my plans have fallin' through,
All my plans depend on you, depend on you to help them grow,
I love you and that's all I know.

When the singer's gone let the song go on...

But the ending always comes at last,
Endings always come too fast,
They come too fast but they past too slow,
I love you and that's all I know .

When the singer's gone let the song go on,
It's a fine line between the darkness and the dawn.
They say in the darkest night there's a light beyond

But the ending always comes at last,
Endings always come too fast,
They come too fast
But they past too slow,
I love you, and that's all I know.
That's all I know, that's all I know

I'm so very sorry Blonde - may tomorrow go as smoothly as it possibly can for you. Wonderful choice of song. Love to you and your husband. xxxx

Blondes my lovely girl you and your beloved Mark will be in my thoughts tomorrow xx

Oh, blondes, tomorrow will be so difficult for you.

I send you strength, and will be certainly sparing more than a thought for you at 11.

I shall light candles tonight and torrow night to bookend the day for you.

I'm listening to your song as I type - it's very powerful.

Look after yourself.

Grieve how you need to.

Blondes, only just seen this, really feel for you. Please don't apologise any more, waffle away, we are here to listen and help.

Blondes, apologies as I have been lurking on here, but never said anything as I never knew what to say - I just wanted to let you know I will be thinking of you and your beloved Mark tomorrow - I am so sorry you are going through this.

Rest in peace Mark.

Best wishes

So sorry for you. Will think of you tomorrow.

Will be thinking of you all day. The song is beautiful, had me in tears at the laptop. xxxxxxxxxx

Blondes - I'm thinking about both you and Mark a lot - but will definitely think of you both at 11 tomorrow.

That song, those words... absolutely perfect!!

I honestly don't know how you are holding it together so well, I am truely amazed at your strength. I hope you can take some strength from all of us thinking about you, to help you through tomorrow.

Much love
xoxo

Blondes, will be thinking of you and your beloved DH tomorrow. I hope the service is beautiful. X

Hi Blondes. I hope tomorrow goes as well as it can for you. I hope you manage to get some sleep tonight too.

Will be thinking of you tomorrow.

Will be thinking of you tomorrow.

Blondes, I have been thinking of you every day, and will light a candle at 11am tomorrow xx

Love to you and all friends/family. You are surrounded by fab people.