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Bereavement

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Original poster

Our Children budded on earth to bloom in heaven

973 replies

frasersmummy · 15/04/2011 08:12

I think we have had this title before but it seems appropriate for spring

I have started this thread in honour of all our children but particularly Fraser who would have been 7 today. Happy birthday son we still miss you dearly. You will always be our firstborn and we always remember you in our hearts

OP posts:
kazmus · 11/06/2011 18:54

Thinking of changing my name to 'thisbloodylifestinks'. Just heard this morning that one of Sians best friends died from cancer early this morning, she was 26. They were at school together and felt an empathy with each other as each battled their medical demons. I only heard from her on Tuesday and now she is gone as well. Another funeral and another waste of a brilliant life. There is no rhyme or reason to this path we tread, another family thrown into total despair, rest in peace Sarah, you beautiful girl. Take care of her Sian, show her the way around and we'll try to look after her poor family.

CheeseandGherkins · 11/06/2011 19:42

fm sorry to hear about your mum :( It's not an awful thing to say about visiting Fraser, I don't go to see Scarlett very often, a few times in the past 6 months. Dh sometimes goes on his own too though.

MrsRudyRudpoo I'm so sorry for your darling Harry. Welcome here but wish you didn't have to be here. Everyone is so friendly and supportive.

shakey I've heard of that being down with necklaces and similar too, it sounds like a really good idea.

green (hugs) :( hope you aren't feeling too bad.

kazmus Oh so sorry to hear that :( 26 is no age at all.

Evening all and hope today hasn't been to hard for you all. xx

Minione · 11/06/2011 23:33

This time last year I was in labour. I don't really remember as the morphine was starting to take effect. I didn't give birth for almost another 12 hours. I can't believe its been a year Sad

CazandBelle · 12/06/2011 08:50

There has been so many new faces here recently. :( Too many of our little ones gone.

mini I am sending so much love and strength to you today. Happy 1st birthday beautiful Malachy. xxx

There is just too much to top with at the moment. Belle's remember day is on Thursday, Father's Day in a week today and then Belle's birthday is a week Tuesday. As well as all the fundraising stuff I've organised (wow I hope I pull that off!) and of course the normal teachery stuff this time of year too - for some stupid reason I've organised an event in work too for the one but last week of term. I thought being busy good....

I also think I need a new name now to include Xander. Any suggestions?

shabbapinkfrog · 12/06/2011 09:03

Morning girls xx

shabbapinkfrog · 12/06/2011 12:07

Lavendes Just been into the kitchen to start Sunday dinner off. Got the chicken out - mixed the cook in sauce with it and shoved it in the oven. As I closed the oven door I burst out laughing and said to my hubby 'Richard would go bloody mad at me for not making the sauce myself!!'

Hubby just stared at me, really puzzled and said 'Richard who???' LOL.

kazmus · 12/06/2011 13:09

lavandes, large glass of red, and deep breaths, sometimes things are beyond words.
Cazandbelle, what about Caxandbelle ?:) sounds same as well, clever eh!!

spilttheteaagain · 12/06/2011 14:29

TooImmature how did the appointment with the renal specialist go?
I wanted to let you know that some of the folk on the March thread were thinking of you - I just popped in to say hello and saw some posts hoping you were ok, not that any of us really know what that means, surviving I guess. They'd love to hear from you if you wanted to get in touch, but obv understand if you don't for now.

Caz lovely pics on your blog from a couple of days ago.

Mini happy birthday to your lovely little Malachy. It shouldn't be like this xx

shabs Grin love it!

Welcome to MrsRudy and so sorry to meet you here. Talk to us about Harry as much as you like. You've been through such hell, it hurts just to try and imagine x

cheese how are you feeling just now?

lavandes · 12/06/2011 20:51

Evening ladies xx

shabs cook in sauce, whatever next!! Another funny memory - he said 'we need parmesan cheese, fresh parmesan, not that shit in a tub' Grin x I miss all the fun we had together in the kitchen.

Welcome to the new ladies. It is so heartbreaking that every few days there is someone else who must endure this pain. You will find support here, we all try to help eachother. xx

IzziesMummy · 12/06/2011 22:05

I hope you don't mind me intruding on your special thread, but just wanted to say "Happy 3rd Birthday" to my beautiful daughter - love and miss you so very much baby girl. xxx

lavandes · 12/06/2011 22:09

kaz I am so sorry, there are no words are there? it is all so cruel and unfair. xx

Minione · 12/06/2011 22:27

Hi eveyone and welcome MrsRudy, so sorry you have had to find yourself here x

We went to the cemetary, its the first time we'd been together for a long time. Its strange, the actual day isn't as bad as the build up, although it still hurts like hell. If Malachy was alive we'd be having a party and his birthday would be remembered by others but it wasn't; just Dh and me, at his grave, crying.

CheeseandGherkins · 13/06/2011 05:26

Morning all. Not actually managed to sleep yet, so think it'll be a long day!

Mini Sounds like you had a really hard day. How are you feeling now? I'm dreading the year mark, I'm sure few people will remember without us telling them either :(

Caz Father's day will be a hard one here too :( Thinking of you

spilt I'm feeling ok right now, it's still surprising at times how up and down things can be.

Izzies happy birthday for yesterday to your little girl, I will light a candle tonight for her (hugs)

shabbapinkfrog · 13/06/2011 06:42

Morning girls xx

lavandes · 13/06/2011 07:45

Morning ladies xx

greenzebra · 13/06/2011 08:24

hey peeps, thanks for the messages, feeling better today but have a huge bruise on my back and still a bit sore.

My hubbie is going to ring the hospital today to see if the post mortem results are ready. Bit weird really. Just take it as it comes I guess.

MrsRudyRudpoo · 13/06/2011 08:59

Hi everyone, thank you for the warm welcome. It's nice to be around people who understand what it feels like. This is going to be a hard week, not only is it fathers day, but that was also my due date. We are going to the baby garden for the first time. Feel bad that I haven't been yet but just haven't been able to handle it yet. Has anyone one else that has lost babies before full term that people just don't even mention it? Its like because he wasn't born at 40 weeks he wasn't a real baby, I have aunties and grandparents who haven't even mentioned what's happened. Its like Harry didn't even matter.

lavandes · 13/06/2011 09:44

Hi mrsRudyRudpoo It is very hurtful when the people who should be supporting you forget so quickly and don't continue to understand. I think we have all experienced this. I think that in the past death was not talked about at all, which is probaly why the older people do not mention it, but now we know that we need to talk about our children.
Of course your precious Harry is a real baby, you gave birth to him and held him, you are and always will be his mum.
As for going to the baby garden, don't push yourself this week is difficult enough. You don't need to go until you are ready. Your baby is in your heart and that is where you will always remember him. Just take one day at a time, grief is totally overwhelming so be kind to yourself. xx

shabbapinkfrog · 13/06/2011 11:34

I have just been to the cemetery!! My friend Chelle went with me. It has been 9 years since I last went Sad

lavandes · 13/06/2011 11:40

Well done shabs did it bring you any comfort or did it upset you more xx

shabbapinkfrog · 13/06/2011 12:37

Im not quite sure how it has left me feeling. My Mum and Dad have paid to have all the lettering re-painted because all the words were fading. The stone looks really beautiful now. I think it has just made me feel angry and made me long to see them even more. Lewis has asked me a 1,000,000 questions since we came home!!!!

The best remark of the day from Lew was - 'Andma you have got old ladies hairs on your chin, I saw them when I was having a poo!!'

lavandes · 13/06/2011 13:12

I totally understand the anger Shabs when we go to the crem I just look at the plaque and think 'how did it come to this, my Richard surrounded by all these old people'.

Lew is hilarious I bet that made your day. I'll just go and check the facial hair situation. Grin xx

TooImmature2BMum · 13/06/2011 16:50

Thanks Spilt - I haven't been on the March thread in ages because it was too hard. I was torturing myself with it for a while so I made myself stop looking. If you are there, will you let them know I'm doing ok (sort of, anyway!) and I hope they and their babies are all doing well?

My renal appt is Friday this week (sorry, my last post was confusing!) and I have had a letter from them saying I will have to have a kidney ultrasound (not part of the first appt but at another time) and I have to collect a day's worth of pee and take it in with me (lovely!). The glamour!

CheeseandGherkins · 14/06/2011 01:40

Evening x Candles lit here xx

shabbapinkfrog · 14/06/2011 06:47

Morning girls xx

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