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Bereavement

Find bereavement help and support from other Mumsnetters. See also your choices after baby loss.

Original poster

Our Children budded on earth to bloom in heaven

973 replies

frasersmummy · 15/04/2011 08:12

I think we have had this title before but it seems appropriate for spring

I have started this thread in honour of all our children but particularly Fraser who would have been 7 today. Happy birthday son we still miss you dearly. You will always be our firstborn and we always remember you in our hearts

OP posts:
shabbapinkfrog · 08/05/2011 11:33

Over the years I have always found that the 'run up' to remember days and birthdays is much, much worse than the actual day. I know that on the 10th it will be a day of reflection and sadness for a life that 'should have been.' I currently have a finger in each ear and am going 'la, la, la, la, la' hoping that the day wont come.....even though, obviously, it will xxx Thank you everybody for your very kind words xx

spilttheteaagain · 08/05/2011 13:17

shabs thinking of you in these particularly grim few days. You are like a mum to all of us on here, holding hands, wiping tears, checking how we all are, saying hello every day. Hope you know how many people you touch and help everyday. I hope we can help you too now. Much love xx

Minione · 08/05/2011 14:01

Hi Everyone, how's your hangover Shab?

PPM - sending you a hug and thinking of you x

Lavandes - Not too bad thanks, up and down, feeling so happy one minute but terrified the next. I can't wait 'til Tuesday for the scan but dreading it at the same time iykwim.

shabbapinkfrog · 08/05/2011 14:12

My face looks like this Envy!!

peterpansmum · 08/05/2011 14:17

ooooohh nice colour shabs, mine just looks like this Sad !!

Thanks Mini, can't even begin to imagine what you're going through but i hope some of the others on here give you the strength to get through the next few days xx

Original poster
frasersmummy · 08/05/2011 14:27

shabs ...how many years have you been on here holding my hand now??? I wish I could come down there and put my arsm around you ..I think that a lot but I think it more than ever this weekend.. you are in my thoughts and prayers

hey greenzebra.. I have been exactly where you are now.. my first little boy was born asleep 7 years ago in April.. how the hell can it be 7 years ...

I am glad you have a really strong relationship with dh ...you need each other right now. Its still such early days try not to think too far ahead... concentrate on one day at a time.. and if thats too hard then only think about the next hour. It will get easier ... I know right now you wont see that but we are all here to help you through these really dark early days and beyond

As my mw said.. there will always be 3 of you .. one day there may be 4 of you or even 5 of you but for now there are 3 of you ... its a long road but we help each other along it

Be kind to yourself and acknowledge your grief.. cry, shout, stamp, post on here

we are all here for you

OP posts:
shabbapinkfrog · 08/05/2011 17:22

Thanks everybody xxx

I think its about 3 years ago that Feedmenow and her precious DD started our special thread.....but, it feels like it was a couple of months ago xxx

CheeseandGherkins · 08/05/2011 19:57

Evening all, still thinking about everyone but just not been able to be on much lately, had a run of bad days/nights but I am about and will reply as soon as I can. Sorry for being a cop out xxx

ILikeToMoveItMoveIt · 08/05/2011 19:58

3 years ago Shabs? Like you said, it feels like 3 months sometimes.

So sorry about your dd Ophelia greenzebra. What a beautiful name you have given your daughter. Please keep posting here and use it as a refuge.

{{PPM}} I often think of you when one of us announces we are pg. You take it with great grace and I know you are truly happy for us, but it doesn't stop you still wanting the same for you I am sure. I wish I could do or say something to help xxx

CazandBelle · 08/05/2011 21:07

Have had a pain in the behind few days. Our phoneline had a major fault (every house in the block without a line) and as a result I've only had internet access on my mobile which isn't so easy to post on.

greenzebra So sorry to meet you here and about your precious Ophelia. I love her name, one of a kind and special. My daughter Anabelle was born sleeping almost 11 months ago. I cannot believe how quickly time goes by and that it is nearly her birthday.

Today I posted our story on my blog. cazandbelle.blogspot.com/2011/05/anabelles-story.html A lady on Sands is publishing a book about baby loss and Anabelle will be one of the chapters. So I put our chapter on the blog today. Was really very draining to write. It doesn't seem to matter how many times I tell it, remember it, read it, it doesn't get any easier.

I have an extra scan tomorrow. I had a small bleed overnight Wed into Thurs. A bit like a show or start of period, but was only there when I wiped. Sorry for tmi. It quickly went from red to brown and more or less stopped by 9am Thurs. Dr sending me for a scan as a precaution though.

shabs thinking of you.

Love to jane and cheese - you've had really hard weeks xxx

lavandes · 08/05/2011 21:16

Hope all is well caz I have no wise words just sending love to you and your husband xxx

Minione · 08/05/2011 21:56

Caz hope everything will be ok, good luck for tomorrow. I had something similar at ten weeks and all was fine hope this will be the same for you. Thinking of you, lots of love x

CheeseandGherkins · 09/05/2011 02:04

Thank you Caz, I really hope things are working out for you . Good luck for your scan.

I've been drinking too much, this is the only plave I feel i can be honest. I'm sorry and i will try mrore

travellingwilbury · 09/05/2011 06:38

Morning all x

shabbapinkfrog · 09/05/2011 06:42

Morning girls xx

janedoe25 · 09/05/2011 07:28

Morning all.

Hope all is well with your scan today caz im thinking about you x

shabbapinkfrog · 09/05/2011 08:34

Will be thinking about you today Caz - hope everything will be fine for you.

When I was having Matty I carried on having very light periods for the first 3 months. I kept feeling sick and very tired and eventually went to the Doctors. I almost fell off my chair when he said I was about 12 weeks pregnant!! I thought I was about 2/3 weeks. I had also had an x ray at the dentist and fallen from top to bottom of the stairs in my parents house!! I often think how lucky I was to have Matty.

xxx

lavandes · 09/05/2011 11:36

Morning ladies xx

There is a mum on another thread - 'my baby boy' - who may need our support. Could somebody please send her a link as I don't know how to do it. xx

lavandes · 09/05/2011 11:45

Sorry ladies I can see that mini and tw have already spoken to her xx

CazandBelle · 09/05/2011 13:38

Hi all,

scan was fine, baby was very busy and active again. Even the growth in two weeks is remarkable - face was much more rounded today rather than long like it was 2 weeks ago.

They were able to identify where the bleed came from, right on the edge of the placenta but nobody seemed to concerned and baby is obviously doing ok at the moment anyway. They'll scan again if there is anymore fresh red, but have told me I may have a bit more brown/black over the next few days as it works itself out.

Next booked scan seems such a long way away. Trying to persuade DH to go for a gender one in between...

Hope everyone is having a gentle day. xx

shabbapinkfrog · 09/05/2011 13:45

Thats great news Caz - thanks for letting us know xx

lavandes · 09/05/2011 14:37

So glad all is well caz xx

spilttheteaagain · 09/05/2011 16:51

Great news Caz. Is your next one the 20 weeker or have they booked one in between?

How are you doing shabs?

Minione · 09/05/2011 17:26

Ah, that's great news Caz, you must feel relieved. I've got my 20 week scan tomorrow, I think we are going to find out the gender. I've always been 'Oh no. its nice to have a suprise' but tbh I'm sick of shocks and suprises. I guess my views of pregnancy have changed so much over the past year.

travellingwilbury · 09/05/2011 18:31

Caz I am so pleased for you that your wee one is doing so well xx

mini Good luck for tomorrow , please let us know how you get on x

Shabs How you getting on with all the build up shite ? Sending you hugs xx

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