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Bereavement

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Update on Rindercella's DH (No. 2)

845 replies

Portoeufino · 12/04/2011 16:25

The other thread has reached 1000 posts, so I hope no-one minds that I started a new one......Hoping R is home with you now!

OP posts:
HRHUrsulaBuffay · 28/04/2011 20:38

Thinking of you all x

GColdtimer · 28/04/2011 21:46

Have been thinking about all of you today Rinders. xx

MissAnthrope · 28/04/2011 21:55

Thinking of you today.

LawrieMarlow · 28/04/2011 22:02

Have been thinking of you today Rinders x

lisad123isasnuttyasaboxoffrogs · 28/04/2011 22:58

been thinking of you today and pretty much every day since news of richard passing came.
loads of hugs x

riojaguzzler · 28/04/2011 23:21

Thought about you and your family lots today. I hope it all went well x

MrsShrekTheThird · 28/04/2011 23:31

me too, just wandering in to say I've been thinking about you, candle lit :)

NorksAreMessy · 29/04/2011 05:40

Candle burning here yesterday for the Rinders family ...purple of course.

Rindercella · 29/04/2011 06:37

Oh my goodness, so many messages. Thank you so much. I felt you all there in spirit yesterday. I will post more later, but I read my tribute and I am so very glad that I did. Here it is (village name and DSS's name removed).

One of my favourite memories of Richard was when we first moved to * and started to explore our local surroundings. One day we ended up in Stow-on-the-Wold. We had a bottle of wine over lunch. And then another. By the time we had got through our third bottle we decided that a taxi home wasn?t the best solution; a night in a quirky hotel was by far preferable. So we had dinner - and another bottle of wine - and woke the following morning to see snow falling outside. We were in a picture perfect setting, together nursing our hangovers, still happily chatting away.

The reason why this memory is so precious to me is not the copious amounts of wine we consumed that day, but that it perfectly demonstrates how we were together ? Richard and I could sit and chat for hours and hours and would never be bored of each other. We could be at a party, in a crowded room filled with lots of interesting people, but we would always find ourselves together, chatting about our usual stuff. That?s what I miss most now about Richard, I want to talk to him, to tell him how wonderful everyone has been, how sorry they are to learn of his passing. How people have reached out to me ? family, friends and strangers alike ? to help and support me and our beautiful children. He would like that.

I knew from the day I met Richard what a wonderful father he was. His love for * was total and unconditional. That has always remained so and that love stretched and stretched so that when India and Jasmine came along he gave them that same total, unconditional love. It is one of the things I love most about him. Before he died, I promised Richard that I will always do my best for all of his children. I will look after them with the knowledge that he is looking on, and make sure they know their father through me. They will know what a special man he was, strong, always positive, and brave beyond words. That despite his illness he never gave up. He wanted to live for them and for us.

Richard has always been so many different things to me; my best friend, my mentor, my beloved husband. He was funny and passionate, kind and considerate, intelligent and generous. He never let me down ? if he ever made a promise he would keep it, a man of great integrity. We always treated each other as an equal, with the utmost respect and dignity. He gave such good advice, always giving me perspective and allowed me to grow. If I was wrong, he would tell me.

I am so lucky to have had 12 years with the most wonderful, beautiful man I have ever met. When Richard and I first got together I used to tell him he was perfect. He disagreed, saying there was no such thing as perfect. The thing is Richard wasn?t perfect. But through his imperfections he was perfect for me. I will miss him more than words could possibly say.

Bucharest · 29/04/2011 06:42

Morning Rinders.

Beautiful, just beautiful.

We've all learned a lot from you and your family over the past months.

Wishing you a peaceful day today.

(hope the chocolate buttons worked!) xx

OnesAmpleBosom · 29/04/2011 06:44

Rindercella i think you have done Richard proud with such a moving tribute, the love you feel for each other really shines through.

I hope that love sees you and your family through the difficult times.

PollyLogos · 29/04/2011 06:55

Absolutely beautiful.

DegreesCelcius · 29/04/2011 06:57

Beautiful,really beautiful. You expressed your feelings so well. Well done.
Hope you all are OK today.

Rindercella · 29/04/2011 07:01

Thank you. The girls were absolutely beautifully behaved, I was so proud of them. The service was just about perfect (even Richard would have thought so!). DSS spoke about his Dad so emotionally, 2 of his sisters gave a fantastic tribute and his other sister sang just beautifully. My brother read, Richard's nephew read and a very good friend of his read too. The vicar is going to end up being my friend I think - she is amazing and very cool! She gave the most beautiful service. I got a standing ovation at the end of my tribute which made me cry.

There were at least 200 people there and it was a huge comfort to know so many people cared. My nephew who spoke is at Cambridge and he took time out to get here yesterday, leaving late last night and he has an exam today. Just amazing.

I don't think the pub has ever done such a roaring trade on a Thursday afternoon before - it was packed!

I was so tired last night. I went to put Jasmine to bed at around 9pm and promptly fell fast asleep waking again in the early hours, Jas conked out next to me (where she still is). I meant to open a very special bottle of champagne last night - R was given it on his 50th birthday and said it was so nice it had to be kept for a special occasion. I thought yesterday was the only time to drink it, but didn't do it. I guess now it will have to keep until his birthday in July.

My outfit was perfect and lots of people wore purple, including DSS.

India did her first ever sleepover last night at her best friend's. God, my poor friend, the two girls must have been so excited - I hope she survived it!

alexandra65 · 29/04/2011 07:05

Morning Rinders, Whata beautiful tribute and it sounds like a beautiful service. How lovely thatit was a celebration of his life and you had so many special people to share it with.

And how wonderful that you had 12 perfect years together, its so sad thatit wasnt longer, but you always have those years to hold on to

maddiemostmerry · 29/04/2011 07:07

That was lovely Rinders. x

SiameseIfYouPlease · 29/04/2011 07:17

That is so lovely Rinders. Can I ask what Rs sister sang?
I'm happy that it went so well for all of you. A proper celebration x

TimeForMeIsFree · 29/04/2011 07:21

Thank you for sharing your beautiful tribute with us Rinders. Absolutely beautiful. You are in my thoughts xxx

bellavita · 29/04/2011 07:57

Your tribute is just so lovely and beautiful, thank you for letting us be part of it.

As always thinking about you xx

ilovesprouts · 29/04/2011 09:30

.

BrigitBigKnickers · 29/04/2011 09:51

I have followed your threads for a long time now and am very moved by your story and how bravely you and your family have coped with this tragic situation.

Glad the day went well and that you felt strong enough to read your beautiful tribute.

Take care. x

Portoeufino · 29/04/2011 10:14

Oh what a wonderful tribute. That brought tears to my eyes!

So glad that the day went well for you.

OP posts:
Grockle · 29/04/2011 10:48

Beautiful, rinders

SoloIsApparentlyACougar · 29/04/2011 14:58

Wonderful. What a fantastic tribute to your Husband's life. You've brought tears to my eyes.

ViolaTricolor · 29/04/2011 17:13

That is such a moving tribute, Rinders. I'm so glad you got to say goodbye so beautifully.