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Bereavement

Find bereavement help and support from other Mumsnetters. See also your choices after baby loss.

Original poster

37 weeks pregnant and found out yesterday that our baby has died

886 replies

CheeseandGherkins · 03/12/2010 12:17

I'm still totally in shock, as is DH, our little girl has died. I hadn't felt movements since late on Wednesday and when I went in on Thursday they couldn't find a heartbeat with doppler. Sent straight for a scan and there was no heartbeat.

I already have 3 dcs who are so upset but it was DH's first baby.

I have to go in today, in a few hours, for a tablet to start things off but I can come home after an hour apparently and then go back 24 hours or so later (if nothing happens) to start inducement properly.

Does anyone have any experience of this? I'm scared of being induced, which sounds stupid under the circumstances but there it is. How long will it take? First 3 labours were fast, 3 and a half, 3 hours and just over an hour.

I still keep expecting to feel her move but of course she won't. Feels so surreal and that it can't be happening but it is. I was due on Dec 23rd.

I don't know what to do.

OP posts:
The3Bears · 05/12/2010 19:54

I dont know you but I am so sorry, Thinking of you x

SantasMooningArse · 05/12/2010 19:55

I know the blood tests can be scary (I am blessed that ds1 made it but was fitting with eclampsia when induced- woudln;t have a CS for medical reasons) but there's surely a high chance that her presentation was the only problem becuase she squashed her cord? I know friends with the same presentation were warned of that.

notalone · 05/12/2010 19:56

Cheese - I know you from FB too and think you are being so incredibly brave. There are lots of us thinking of you tonight, and some of your FB messages from people brought tears to my eyes. You are obviously a lovely family who have so many people who care about you. I wish you all the best tonight - I will be thinking of you.

piratecatClaus · 05/12/2010 19:57

omg, i am so so sorry for your loss Cheeseandgerkins.

You poor love, my heart goes out to you.

xx

LilRedWG · 05/12/2010 19:58

xxx

ItalianLady · 05/12/2010 20:00

I wish there was something I could do Sad.

I feel close to you Blush as part of your user name was my nickname at school.

Original poster
CheeseandGherkins · 05/12/2010 20:04

Cord issues were only warned of if my waters broke.oddity said it may have been a cord issue but dr said could be to do with echo genic bowel that showed up at 20 week scan but which later appeared to clear up.
Hurting a bit more now so don't know how much rest I will get but I will try.

OP posts:
rubyslippers · 05/12/2010 20:05

Lots of love and strength to you xx

MistyMooBags · 05/12/2010 20:06

So sorry... xxx

ClaireDeLoon · 05/12/2010 20:08

Thinking of you C&G xx

piratecatClaus · 05/12/2010 20:11

have lit a candle x

Reality · 05/12/2010 20:12

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

pink4ever · 05/12/2010 20:14

Hi cheese. Just wanted to let you know am still thinking of you and your family. I know a bit of what you are going through and my heart goes out to you. I am glad to hear that they at least are treating you well at the hosp(I was also lucky enough to have a lovely midwife.In fact she had delivered my 1st ds and remembered me which in a strange way helped).
I hope things go as smoothly as they can for you with the labour. Please feel free to pm me if yo have any questions AT ALL. I know I had things I wanted to ask but at the time was too embaressed(stupid!). With love.

IBlameThePenguins · 05/12/2010 20:17

Lighting a candle here, and sending so many thoughts and vibes your way.

xxx

spilttheteaagain · 05/12/2010 20:20

Still thinking of you Cheese. I pray your labour is manageable and brief and that you have some precious hours with your little girl xx

jenny60 · 05/12/2010 20:24

So, so sorry cheese. I went through this with my son and know how desperately sad and wrong this feels. If it's any help, I had no real pain during labour. I still miss my boy, but the passing of time does help, it really does and holding your other children tight will help too. Do whatever you need to feel better after her birth. We went away to somewhere warm for a few days and that was best for us. We also scattered our son's ashes somewhere special for us and planted a tree. I will always miss him and think of him as you will you beautiful daughter, but it really DOES get better. Lots of love, J xx

FoxyRevenger · 05/12/2010 20:25

Thinking of you tonight.

Seems like there are candles lit all over Britain tonight for your little one.

xxxxxx

Berk · 05/12/2010 20:26

Candle lit, here with you x

Sariska · 05/12/2010 20:27

Also thinking of you. So very very sorry for your loss. Wishing you strength and peace.

smokeybacon · 05/12/2010 20:29

Have just come across this thread and just wanted to say you are being so brave. I cannot imagine what you are going through. Thoughts and prayers for you your family and your beautiful DD.

AllOverIt · 05/12/2010 20:29

Still here, you're still in my thoughts Sad

coolkat · 05/12/2010 20:29

Sending you love and strength X

Hulababy · 05/12/2010 20:31

Thinking of you

JaxTellersOldLady · 05/12/2010 20:32

C&G this happened to my friend 6 months ago, I know that nothing will take away your pain and wish you lots of love and strength.

SANDS have been amazing with my friend.

I did post about it at the time. If there is anything that I can do or you just want to talk feel free to PM me. x

Threelittleducks · 05/12/2010 20:33

So very sorry. Xx thinking of you