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Bereavement

Find bereavement help and support from other Mumsnetters. See also your choices after baby loss.

Original poster

37 weeks pregnant and found out yesterday that our baby has died

886 replies

CheeseandGherkins · 03/12/2010 12:17

I'm still totally in shock, as is DH, our little girl has died. I hadn't felt movements since late on Wednesday and when I went in on Thursday they couldn't find a heartbeat with doppler. Sent straight for a scan and there was no heartbeat.

I already have 3 dcs who are so upset but it was DH's first baby.

I have to go in today, in a few hours, for a tablet to start things off but I can come home after an hour apparently and then go back 24 hours or so later (if nothing happens) to start inducement properly.

Does anyone have any experience of this? I'm scared of being induced, which sounds stupid under the circumstances but there it is. How long will it take? First 3 labours were fast, 3 and a half, 3 hours and just over an hour.

I still keep expecting to feel her move but of course she won't. Feels so surreal and that it can't be happening but it is. I was due on Dec 23rd.

I don't know what to do.

OP posts:
Original poster
CheeseandGherkins · 05/12/2010 18:00

Scared of the pain which sounds stupid under the circumstances but I'm also scared if pain relief and feeling different. Pains no worse, around every 5 mins. Have the tv on in here for distraction and everyone has been lovely.

OP posts:
ItalianLady · 05/12/2010 18:02

It isn't stupid to be scared of the pain Sad. I had gas and air and it made me feel drunk ith.

AllOverIt · 05/12/2010 18:04

My dear friend's little DD was born asleep at 39 weeks. Like you, she stopped feeling movements and was scanned. She was induced, I think it was all quite quick. The hospital were brilliant and she wanted her whole family in there with her through her labour. They got pizza in and beers, all things that my friend wanted!

They all got to spend time with her DD and she took her home overnight in a special cot to give her as many cuddles as they wanted. Everyone got to give her cuddles.

SANDS were awesome and they have a special garden where everyone paints stones for their DC.

She has since had a healthy DS (born almost exactly a year later) and was very carefully monitored throughout the pregnancy.

Be kind to yourself, and I'm thinking of you Sad

ChristianaCatesby · 05/12/2010 18:05

I don't know you but I want to send you such strength through this time. It must be so incredibly hard. I am so sorry.

Sending lots of love. You poor thing.

AllOverIt · 05/12/2010 18:08

I remember my friend saying that she was scared to look at her DD, but made herself and is glad that she did. It was a bit of a shock to see her, and she needed some mental preparation for how she would look. She now has lovely memories of her and her gorgeous little face.

taintedsnow · 05/12/2010 18:12

Oh no Cheese. :(

I'm so sorry for what you're going through.

I really don't know what else to say. Such a horrible time. :(

Thinking of you. x

Trop · 05/12/2010 18:15

I'm so sorry.

Hangingbellyofbabylon · 05/12/2010 18:16

I am so sorry to hear your news and wish things could be different. You sound like an incredible lady and you're doing a great job. Kisses to you and your beautiful little angel baby. xxx

CinnabarRed · 05/12/2010 18:18

Thinking of you all. So sorry.

Miffster · 05/12/2010 18:19

Holding you and your family in my thoughts, have a candle burning for you. Wishing you strength, so sorry Cheese. X

Canella · 05/12/2010 18:40

i dont know you at all but thinking of you and your family and everything you are going thro xx

gailforce1 · 05/12/2010 18:45

Miffster I too will go and light a candle for C&G. Thank you.

gailforce1 · 05/12/2010 18:47

Miffster I too will go and light a candle for C&G. Thank you.

ebonyfish · 05/12/2010 18:51

So very sorry for your loss.

Have you begun to think about what you would like to do when your daughter is delivered?

Hope the staff are preparing you well and giving you choices.

Love and strength to you.

corblimeymadam · 05/12/2010 18:52

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

happygilmore · 05/12/2010 18:52

I#m so sorry for you and for every one on this thread who has lost a baby. I hope you are coping as well as you can and the induction is quick.

Everything I want to say sounds so inadequate, but I really hope you are OK xx

ChristianaCatesby · 05/12/2010 18:53

Have lit a candle too

NoahAndTheWhale · 05/12/2010 18:56

Am so sorry :(

Am thinking of you and your family

Berk · 05/12/2010 18:59

You're being so very brave, I'm so sorry. I hope you have the best experience possible in the circumstances. Thinking of you tonight x

everlong · 05/12/2010 19:02

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

coatgate · 05/12/2010 19:04

So sorry to read this. My thoughts and prayers are with you and all your family.

VagolaJahooli · 05/12/2010 19:10

Oh my goodness I'm in floods of tears for you, no help I realise and though I don't know you wish I could just hold your hand once during the birth of you little girl and take away some of your pain. Please know that everyone here wants to give you some strength now as well as me. Love and thoughts to your family as well. Use them now they love you dearly.

Wholelottalove · 05/12/2010 19:11

Thinking of you C&G x

SantasMooningArse · 05/12/2010 19:13

OPh cheese : ( am rpesuming you are the lady on FB, yes? I hope so- i hope that two epople aren;t going through the same thing now.

I have watched for months on FB as the lvoe for your baby shone through, as you attended your appointments and did the right things. Nothing you did contributed to this; only terrible luck, possibly from positioning?

If you are not averse to prayers I will say many; if you are then I am thinking of you. but I am glad your DH is with you and that can mourn together and I wish you peace and comfort.

Original poster
CheeseandGherkins · 05/12/2010 19:17

Thanks everyone. Still cramping but nothing moved on yet. Another lot of gel at half ten if nothing happens before then. Really hoping things progress on their own. My midwife is changing shift at 8 snd has been lovely, I'm sure the next one will be too. It helps to know so many are thinking of us, thank you all

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