Even after the mail that dh sent his brother, there's been no phone call...nothing...I guess you live and learn eh. I'm sure he feels like he's done nothing wrong, how; I don't know, but I can't imagine why else he wouldn't get in touch.
barley I don't know if I ever can, let alone dh, his brother so it's his call on seeing him or not but I can't.
InnocentRedHead I didn't realise how many others had been through the same thing until now, my heart aches for them and their losses too. It's just awful. So sorry for your loss too, the pain is just too much at times. I've been trying to keep it together more, still not sleeping well but I guess trying to stay positive, works at times heh. Thank you, the advice is all welcomed and the field idea is very good.
gloves thank you, appreciated. I understood what you meant totally :)
Chipping sometimes I still can't believe it's even happened, it's like a part of me thinks I'll wake up soon or something and it'll all just be a nightmare but I know that it isn't. Your dad was right. I feel like I must have done something wrong somewhere though as, honestly, I've had a fairly bad life really, overall. I think I deserve some luck in there somewhere. I'm trying with eating but even though I can feel hungry I really just don't want to eat, had a few peanuts tonight and a slice of bread with dairylea on earlier, oh and a pack of crisps. I don't know why but it doesn't feel right to eat, I really can't say why though and so I struggle with it.
The thought crossed my mind tonight that maybe I wouldn't even be able to have another baby, i've had 6 miscarriages and have pcos, 33 at the end of the year too.
Agree re bil, I can't think of anything less he could have done tbh, it's surprised me as I thought he would have been better, especially as he's older than dh.
The kids are doing really well, they do come out with comments now and again though. My youngest said the other day that he's sad the baby died and he asked to see the photo of dh carrying the baby to heaven :( Today it was his birthday, cannot believe he's 4 already, and we took him to a build a bear shop (he loved it :) ) and dh said it was dead outside, meaning really quiet and ds2 said about the baby dying again :(
DH hasn't been working recently as he's not well enough to, he has lupus and had blood clots in his leg and a pulmonary embolism, plus other problems which has made it impossible. He can barely move some days because of the pain and can't walk properly because of scar tissue now in his leg. He was applying for a PGCE for next year (hoping that he'd be able to by then) but missed the deadline as we had all this happen around the deadline. Not sure what we'll do now at all. Might be worth sending the application anyway but I don't know.
Thanks missjulie
Bella thank you I'll have a look at that link
Whatevertheweather thank you