37 weeks pregnant and found out yesterday that our baby has died

[CheeseandGherkins]

I'm still totally in shock, as is DH, our little girl has died. I hadn't felt movements since late on Wednesday and when I went in on Thursday they couldn't find a heartbeat with doppler. Sent straight for a scan and there was no heartbeat.

I already have 3 dcs who are so upset but it was DH's first baby.

I have to go in today, in a few hours, for a tablet to start things off but I can come home after an hour apparently and then go back 24 hours or so later (if nothing happens) to start inducement properly.

Does anyone have any experience of this? I'm scared of being induced, which sounds stupid under the circumstances but there it is. How long will it take? First 3 labours were fast, 3 and a half, 3 hours and just over an hour.

I still keep expecting to feel her move but of course she won't. Feels so surreal and that it can't be happening but it is. I was due on Dec 23rd.

I don't know what to do.

So so sorry for your loss. Massive ((hugs)) to you and your family.

:..........(((

You are braver than I was.
Hope you feel OK physically soon. xx

C&G just wanted to say have been thinking of you and your little girl. You have been so very brave. I am so terribly sorry for your loss, as you said it wasn't meant to be this way. Sending you and your family much love.

I just read your update. So sorry you are going through this xxxxx

Sat here in tears. C&G my heart and my thoughts are with you, your DH and lovely little Scarlett.

Be kind to yourselves.... xx

C&G you have gone through the hardest thing in the world and inevitably you will have regrets, we all do. But remember that you did your very best at the time and thats what matters. It is impossible to think clearly or rationally at times like this.

Take it hour by hour, minute by minute if you have too, let no-one rush you to feel 'better'. It takes as long as it takes, some days are better, some worse. If you have a good day (they will come) don't worry that you don't feel pain for a while, it doesn't mean you love Scarlett any less, its just your mind having a break from the grief.

Here for you anytime xxx

"Those we have held in our arms for a little while, we hold in our hearts forever"

thefirstmrsdevere

That is a lovely image of your DD. It reminds me of a poem which I hope you don't mind if I share with you.

What is dying?

A ship sails and I stand watching til she fades on the horizon,
and someone at my side says, "She is gone".
Gone Where?
Gone from my sight, that is all:
she is just as large as when I saw her....
The diminished size and total loss of sight is in me,
not in her,
and just at the moment when someone at my side says "she is gone", there are others who are watching her coming,
and other voices take up a glad shout,
"there she comes!"...
and that is dying.

Oh cheese. It's so sad just reading your posts and no words seem at all adequate. You sound like you were amazing at Scarlett's birth. Incredibly brave. It's so awful and wrong and heartbreaking that you had to be brave though. I am so dreadfully sorry.

Cheese, I just wanted to say thank you for telling us about your little girl. I don't know what else to say but I'm thinking of you all tonight.

ThefirstMrsDeve I think its beautiful to think of your daughter in that way. I feel comforted to know your darling daughter is looking after my little Malachy and all of our angel babies x

I am very sorry for your loss, this has happened to me also my baby died at 24 weeks and yesterday was her 10th birthday.
I hope that all went well.

Cheese - thank you and DH for sharing your precious girl with us. When we had to explain the loss of a friend's baby to our little girl recently she smiled and said - 'it's all okay she has gone to find her twinkle so she can be a star' May Scarlett find her twinkle and shine brightly above you.

So so sad. Take care of each other and hope the next days show the kindness and love of the people around you and your little girl. Thoughts for you all. X

c&g my heart goes out to you. You have been amazing and you and your family are constantly in my thoughts.

Oh cheese. I am so sorry. Words fail me. I haven't been on the December thread for a while so only just read this news.

I really really don't know what to say. I'm so sorry. God bless little Scarlett and you all. You are in my thoughts xx

We are all still thinking of you, so much. I do hope you will recover physically very soon. God knows the emotional side will be hard, but do allow yourself time. It is not so much that time heals, but that grieving cannot be sped up, ime.

Love to you all xx

Thinking about you and your family. Sending love xxx

I'm thinking about you and your family too, C&G, and I've lit a candle every night.
xxxxx

Its not very often my DH gets 'involved' on Mumsnet....but yesterday he went shopping by himself and brought me back half a dozen beautiful scented candles. He asked me to light a candle for you and your family.

Thinking about you xx

Thinking of you and your family Cheese xx

Thinking of you and your family too xxxx

Cheese - I haven't posted for a couple of days, but I haven't stopped thinking about you all.

It is so wrong, Scarlett should be here with you now - it's not fair. Sometimes life really is shit.

Please don't feel 'rushed' into 'being OK', not by anyone - you need time & space to grieve.

I hope the AB's have kicked in and you are feeling physically a bit better now.

Love & hugs xxx

you might want to take some arnica and other supplements for yourself.. your body has been through the mill.... take time to rest and recuperate and grieve.

so hard , don't know what to say. so many thoughts and prayers for you all x

Cheese - What a beautiful name for your lovely baby girl.

My heart breaks for what you and your family are going through.

You are all in my thoughts.

So sorry to read this

thinking of you, x.