In memory of my beloved Fraser and all our children.Little buds sown on earth to bloom in heaven

[frasersmummy]

A new haven for us all to say exactly what is in our heart or on our minds knowing that everyone understands and wont judge

Hello all xx

How is everyone?

I'm struggling a bit with how to help another bereaved mum... I thought I would put in chat in case it gets some more traffic in there... I know nothing much about teenagers and need some advice:
It's here:
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/_chat/1044404-suicidal-mother-neglected-teenager-what-do-I-do
Would be grateful for any advice you lot have, as you obviously understand what this poor mum is going through. xx

Morning girls xx

Morning all xx

Morning ladies xx I hope everyone is doing as well as they can?

Mini how is ur reduced hours working out for you?

Hello all xx

I am having a really shit, tearful day - so I thought I would come in and be trivial..

I am wondering about user names... I thought PPM had been really clever and lived in Kirriemuir (where J M Barrie lived).. and then I thought she was the mum to the little boy who never grew up... doesn't Gregor look a bit like John... Anyway I was totally wrong...

FM is easy... and me too... but I have no idea about this pink frog business... and why did Chegirl, suddenly become thefirstmrsdevere?

Hi ladies

Caz - reduced hours are going ok, its not hugely different, going in later somedays, finishing earlier others. I've been told to see how it goes and let HR know if it is still too much.

Sassy - sorry you are having such a bad day. My name comes from my last car being a minione and it being my fave car! It is a bit sad really - I was going to use something more highbrow and literary but couldn't think of anything. Anyway, I will hopefully be driving a mini again soon so I will feel more legitimate calling myself minione!

Ah Sassy, be kind to yourself my lovely. C'mere, have a cwtch (())

My username is a reflection of my state of mind most days

Thanks dee and minione

Just having a bleak day - will be better tomorrow, I hope. Every so often it just hits me - it is so, so painful. My beautiful daughter is dead

Minione - I can't be bothered with work either - it is a local holiday here today, and I was relieved not to go. I can cope with doing the work, but I just can't be bothered really

Yes please to trivial stuff tonight - i've had more than my fair share of overwhelming pish today. Not a good day for me either. Adrenalin seems to have left me and I've been exhausted today.

Yeah only after I'd named myself PPM did i start to think of the other links... As i said to sassy the naming was only due to the fact that ds1 was/still is totally obsessed with the peter pan story - still his absolute favourite book of all time and was dancing about the house having imaginary sword fights with pirates when i was registering with mumsnet!! Kirriemuir is however a place i know very well from my childhood as it was somewhere close to where i grew up and sadly i made the link in hindsight too about gregor being the boy who would never grow up. I never really thought about gregor lookin like John but yes i guess he did a bit

HUGE hugs sassy xx

oi!!!!! who you calling easy ????

I have been really low recently and that made me laugh out loud

My best friend, Chelle, has an adorable little lad. When he was about 4 he tried to think of a name for me. He already has an Auntie Shaz so he couldn't use that. He shouted 'Shabba' to me one day and it has just stuck...everybody calls me that......and the 'pink frog' part - one of the lovely mums on the multiple thread says Im as mad as a bag of pink frogs....therefore Shabbapinkfrog!!

Pmsl at fm being called easy!!!

FM not heard that term for years ROFL xx

Evening ladies..

Had a shit time in tesco today. Was having quite a goodish day until I see a lady and her partner from one of antenatal classes merrily pushing their baby around.

Why? why? and why some bloody more... Why us? I loved/love her so much, I was so excited about being a Mummy and its just been ripped all away.

It'll be 3 months tomorrow since Belle was born. How can a quarter of a year gone by already?

:(

My name is very boring Sassy - its just my shortened name with my middle initial and surname initial!

That is boring Cazem but at least you're not easy...

I actually said:
"FM is easy... and me too"
It clearly takes one to know one!

By the way... my blog gets an awful lot of traffic from this thread
It either means that you lot re-read a lot, or we have an awful lot of lurkers!

I suspect the latter... even though my blog is very interesting!
www.susansobspot.blogspot.com sorry - couldnae resist...

(Waves frantically at all the lurkers)
Don't be shy to wave back xx

Sorry - caz - also meant to give you a hug. I know - it is shit. Why us, why us?

And shabs... yes pink frogs... it is making sense to me.
How is Triplet's DH?

Sassy - I've only briefly looked at your blog so far, but I'm going to go over now and start reading properly.

Anyone who's been to councelling... how exactly does it work? Do they just let u talk, ask questions, offer advice? Whats the format. I know it'll prob be different for everyone person just wanted some insight before I decide what I should do. I'm considering going to the dedicated baby loss drop in centre tomorrow, but I'm just not sure or what to expect. Or if it will even be helpful for me. I don't even know why I'm really considering it... probably because Mum says she thinks I need some... and tomorrow seems like a big milestone some how - 3 months seems really significant to me.

I've been to counselling. She sits and listens and askes open ended quesitons like
"How are you?"
I talk. She make obvious remarks like:
"That is sad"

I think it is total waste of time... I went because people kept saying I needed it

I know other people find counselling more helpful.

Sassy - you write beautifully...

I've written a few blogs on the SANDS websites, I do find it helpful to get it all out.

Morning girls xx

Sassy - I found counselling totally useless - the person I saw was a lovely man, who, when I told my story sat and cried!! I remember looking at him and thinking - 'Why the fuck hell are you crying?'

He asked how he could help to make it better and I simply said 'Bring my boys back.'

Morning folks x

Now i have to give another perspective of counselling. I saw a wonderful wonderful counsellor from CRUSE bereavement care and i found her fantastic. I could actually speak to her because she had had a child who had died, a little boy who died when he was seven. She knew. She got it. She gave me a safe place to talk about Ciaran, she gave me space to sob, she just let me be however it was i needed to be.

I would highly reccomend CRUSE as a source of support if you were thinking of speaking to someone, Caz

Morning ladies xx

My name comes from the name of the house we went to in France in May, it had already been booked. When we got there it was lovely, very peaceful I could recommend it to anyone who wanted to go for a relaxing break, it is near Royan. Not very imaginative, couldn't think of anything else at the time.

I haven't tried counselling. I couldn't go at the moment, I am on a very short fuse and would be horrible to them and get chucked out!!

Morning all xx

Caz , I did have counselling and I found it helpful . I liked being able to talk to someone without feeling like I had to look after them which is what happened a lot in real life . I saw a couple of people one was a normal counsellour and one was a Psychotherapist . I had a lot of anger about the way certain family members had reacted to me and how shite they were and it really helped me deal with that .

It is worth a try , it can't make you feel worse xx

Ok so bit the bullet and went to the councelling building to make an appointment. Burst into tears in their office and feel very silly. They lady was very nice, and spent some time telling me everything I was feeling was normal. Guess I shall see how my proper appointment goes next week.