In memory of my beloved Fraser and all our children.Little buds sown on earth to bloom in heaven

[frasersmummy]

A new haven for us all to say exactly what is in our heart or on our minds knowing that everyone understands and wont judge

Thanks everyone for your kind words and messages of support. It's just so sad that we have to go through heartbreak.

Lottiejenkins - the link is www.mumsnet.com/blogs/mrslaurawood

Reading all of your stories makes me realise that I'm not the only one who might have insensitive people around me or who just don't get it. My f-i-l even said "well it was a long time ago" last week. It was only in June! Unbelievable!

Stay strong everyone, much love xxxx

Morning all x

Mrslaura , I read your blog and it is so well done . I did read it with tears in my eyes , it must have been so hard for you to write but I do hope you are finding it helpful .

Morning all xx

Have caught up down - laura welcome. I have also read your blog. What a traumatic experience you'd had. I think it is brave to write it down - others need to read this, because "I had a baby that died" trips off the tongue, and people don't really understand what it is like to live through an experience like that.

I've been writing a blog too. I haven't been able to actually write about Catherine dying - not sure I ever will be able to, but I've found it helpful to write about my grief. It's here:
www.susansobspot.blogspot.com
Incidentally - if you wanted to blog - the google blog environment that I'm using is very, very user friendly, and has some neat features..

Keep breathing ppm still praying for you xx

Good morning lovely ladies.

Another of my fleeting visits - I've just scrolled through and can't possibly read over 900 posts!

Shabs or Lottie - when a new thread starts could you please let me know on FB? If I keep up from thebeginning of one Imight know whats going on!

Anyway, there is a reason for my visit. I have finally - after two and a half years - had a tattoo for Eris. I know it isn't everyones cup of tea but I am so pleased and proud, and the other children love it too. I have just slathered it in cream again (only done yesterday evening) but when it is cream-free I will take a piccie to show you all.

Hiya FMN - no probs, I will give you a shout on FB.

I love tattoos - but I cant find a bit of me thats not wrinkly to have one done xx

OMG it cant be 2 and a half years???? Can it???

I have just made an arse of myself . I had to go to the drs to see the nurse and I just could not stop myself from crying . I do get flashbacks in there sometimes but not had one for ages .
Nurse was lovely but I feel like shit now .

Why tw ? It doesn't matter that you had a cry, and you haven't made an arse of yourself.

Anyone can cope wonderfully when they have nothing to deal with - you're doing good xx

Well done TW - sometimes thats whats needed - people see 'us' getting on with all the rubbish and think we are 'fine' - does no harm to remind them that we are walking the crappy path - no harm at all xxxx

Thanks both of you . I must admit it was nice to be able to tell someone . I do get fed up hiding the fact most of the time . Most of the people I see on a day to day basis either don't know or choose to ignore it .

How you doing Sassy ? You seem a wee bit quiet ?

Im thinking of having a tattoo done for Jack, i want a sunflower and Jack and 22.12.94.

Lottie - go for it! (Says FMN the new tattoo expert!)

Mine doesn't have a name or date or anything. I didn't want it for anyone else to know anything about IYSWIM? So I know what it is, and the children know what it is, and the people I love will know what it means, but to a stranger it isn't really all that obvious.

And that also all played a big part in where it is (on the inside of my forearm) because I want to be able to see it and appreciate it - it isn't for other people.

Oh, I hope that doesn't sound like I'm being negative about dates and names? I really don't mean it to if it does. I'm just saying that having it done for our reason is a very personal and special thing and it needs to be what you want.

xx

hey girls...

I dont have time to post properly at the moment ...

those of you with older kids, will know what I mean when I say my life has completely changed now Ross is at school... its all soo new and not just for him.

They were asked who had brothers or sisters and he said he had a brother .. when asked what his name was he got flustered and gave them his big cousins name !!! cue me having to have that conversation with the school. When I asked Ross he said.. well I do have a big brother but I dont like talking about him !!!

Lottie normally i would say no way when someone asks me about tatoos.. cos "what if you regret it?" but you arent going to regret your tribute to your darling son so I say go for it

Go for it lottie. Im an old tattoo expert lol. I'm getting one for db next week having his name and dates in a heart. The one i got before is for me no one can understand what it is unless i tell them, 3 intwined circles so just looks very random to most people but i love it nd have it on my wrist so i can see it and remind myself that both of my brothers are forever a part of me and I them. Some of my tattoos just look pretty but have a meaning to me which people dont know others still hve a meaning to me but look random.

I'm taking my mum for her 1st tattoo soon she and I are hving the same tattoo shes having DB's full first name whereas I'm having what i called him. Mum and I find it funny that we have the relationship we do and I'm paying and takin her for her tattoo lol.

I think its very personal as to whether to have names and dates. I think Lotties idea sounds lovely but i equally like unobvious ones. Hopefully this post portrays both of these opinions lol. I think im just waffling now lol

Morning girls xx

morning girlsxxx

Hazy - thinking of you and all your family today. Lighting my candle in honour and with love for your darling GS. Happy Birthday little man xxxx

thanks shabsx

Hazy - thinking of you and your family x

hazy sending love to you and your family tonight, A candle will be lit in Cornwall. xx

Lots of love and throughts to Hazy and family xx

Thinking of you too, Hazy x

Morning girls xx

Hazy still thinking about you and your family. I hope that yesterday was as 'peaceful' as possible for all of you xx

Morning all

hazy have been thinking of you and yours this weekend. Much love to all xx

dh still doing ok. He is out of high dep and on a ward. Hoping to let ds1 see him for a little while today. Resting this am much to ds disgust as he thought we were going out swimming...

How's everyone else doing? Xx

OH MY DEAR GOD - sat here watching SuperNanny and sobbing. Not been taking much notice of it because the Mum had no control over her little boy whatsoever. Then Supernanny talked to her and she explained she had lost a little boy to cot death. They just made a special little garden for him. Double sob. She was afraid to discipline her other little boy in case he died too