My two year old wakes up at 4:45am every morning..... Help

[jellyjem]

I'm at my wits end, she used to sleep really well but for the last month or so she's been waking earlier and earlier and now she's awake at 4:45am.

She doesn't cry when she wakes up just shouts for either myself or my hubby to go to her and if we ignore her which we tried yesterday and today she starts screaming and banging the walls with toys. Very hard to ignore and I feel guilty as she must be waking up our next door neighbour too.

When we go into her she's usually still sucking her thumb so she must still be tired, I can usually manage to get her back into bed and I just tuck her in and say "go back to sleep, its too early" or something similar and then leave her room again straight away rather than make a big issue out of it but within 10 or 15 minutes she's awake again and the pattern starts again.

I'm so tired today I had to drag myself into work and I've drank so much coffee in an effort to stay awake that I've got the shakes. Please can someone give me a strategy of what to do/how to cope with this. Will she grow out of it? She used to be a brilliant sleeper and still goes to bed really well but the early mornings are now getting that early they're starting to turn into bad nights.

Is the room light? Even the smallest chink of light?

Does the heating come on then?

What time does she go to bed?

Loads and loads of exercise during the day?

Give her some milk as she may be hungry and she should go back to sleep?

My DS2 is just 3 and I have to literlly run him like a wild dog all day for him to sleep late eg: 7am onwards

Hi - we've tried most of the above, blackout blinds, heating is now set to stay on low all night so its not that waking her up, house is very quiet. She should be tired as she goes to a play group most days and runs around with the other kids also when she wakes up and shouts for us to go into her sometimes she's that sleepy she's literally falling over. I haven't tried giving her a drink yet so I'll give that a go.

To be honest though I think its a game and its turning into a bit of a battle of wills, she can be very strong willed and stuborn (like her father). This morning when I was trying to get her dressed she got back into her bed, pulled the covers up and said "mommy I'm going to sleep now" and pretended to snore !!

She goes to bed at about 7:30pm and does still have a nap after lunch but only for about an hour, I don't know where she's getting her energy from.

Is she ready to drop her nap perhaps? My DS who is 2 is on the verge of dropping his, he wont go down for one now unless we are out in the car or pram so only has a brief one in those cases. Hes sleeping till 6.30-7am now, before when he was napping he was waking up really early.

My kids both went through phases of waking really early for no reason, it seems to just come and go without any rhyme or reason. Fingers crossed they are both sleeping great but a few months ago I was up pre-5am and I really sympathise, its horrific. I had to have naps myself in the day to get through it.

Thanks Cazwa, the thought that this might stop as quickly as it started really really helps. I think I can just about cope with it as a temporary thing. Napping during the day isn't really an option for me today as I'm at work but I am serious considering sneaking off to the ladies for half an hour and just leaning against the wall in one of the cubicals (yes I'm that desperate!)

I really don't think she's ready to give up her day time nap yet as she just seems so tired when I go into her I don't think she's getting enough sleep and once or twice she has missed her nap its not made any difference to her morning wake up time.

Thinking about it I wonder if we may have started this off ourselves without meaning to. A few months ago she went through a stage of sleepwalking during the night and she used to get really scared as she would suddenly wake herself up and she'd be stood in the middle of her bedroom. I suppose she didn't know how she got there. When we used to hear her get out of bed either my hubby or myself would dash upstairs, quietly pick her up and put her back in bed without waking her and she would just snuggle down and go back to proper sleep again. She's not sleep walking any more (only seems to do it when she's ill or teething). Do you think the early mornings could be anything to do with that?

i had to drop ds nap and move bed time to6.30 with aim to get to sleep for 7 this seemed to help a lot

she may have readjusted her body clock with the sleep walking i found if my ds was over tired when went to bed he didnt sleep so well if he went to bed earlier he slept longer in morning still does his 4.9 he goes to bed now at 7 wakes at 6 he was always a 4.30-5 am waker

the later the bedtime he woke earlier in the morning so i have found now earlier bed means he sleeps deeper and longer

Thanks B Girl - would be worth a try, only problem is I won't be able to get her to bed any earlier Thursdays and Friday as I don't pick her up from my Mums until 6:45 on those days as I'm at work. Humm.... probably wouldn't help to just change her bedtime the other half of the week as that would throw her bodyclock out even more wouldn't it... sigh. I think she may be getting over tired as she always seems really sleepy but as soon as I try and get her ready for bed she get hyper and wants to start running round and playing again.

She needs her nap because she wakes so early. Sounds like a cycle you need to break. Try to gradually shorten the nap times.
The 4.45 waking time,I think is probably the time she's coming into her lighter sleep but she's got into the habit of waking fully instead of sending herself back off to sleep. It's a shame neighbours are on the other side of the wall or I'd suggest you leave her to bang walls till she gets fed up.

When dd was small, I got excellent free advice from the moderators on babywhisperer website. If you find the right section and give them a rundown of her daily/nightly routine, they should be able to help.

I'm sorry to report that DD1 was exactly like this and it lasted for about a year until we were able to teach her to read a clock and not wake us up before 7am.

I tried everything and nothing worked. It was a very bad period of our lives, we were exhausted. I really sympathise.

The only answr is to go to bed earlier yourself. This really rankled with me because the evenings always felt like "me time". I was writing a book and evenings were the only opportunity I got to write.

I never took the advice to go to bed earlier because at that point, it didn't suit my lifestyle. If you can do this, it might just be your salvation for the next year!

Puffin - i think you might be right, it does seem to be a habit, she wants either me or my hubby to go and entertain her as soon as she stirs. Gonna have a look for that web site to see if they can help. Thanks

We've got one of these

Has worked wonders, my 2 dcs have always been early risers, but now even if they wake earlier they don't get out of bed until the sun has come up on the little clock. Only thing is it is lit up, so if your dd is used to a very dark room it might just make things worse.

if you bring her into your bed, you might all snuggle up and go back to sleep for an hour or two. Try anything that works!

jellyjem I have this same problem. DS is 16 months old and no matter what time I put him to bed - no matter how late - he is up BY 5.30am unless he's ill. Usually it's 4.45am. It's horrible. I have to leave the house by 7.20am as well and I teach from 8.30-3 go to him at lunchtime to visit, then collect him at 3.30, bring him home (only a 10 min drive) then we have 3-4 hours of high energy playtime and his dinner, then bed! I'm exhausted!!

I nap with him on the weekends. he takes between 2-3 hour nap at around noon after his lunch.

I second the gro clock recommended by hmmSleep - it was the only thing that convinced our 2.5 year old dd to stay in bed and we have managed to shift getting up from about 5 to now getting up at 6.40. Pricey but worth every penny. Good luck!

Perhaps try and set your alarm for an hour earlier than her usual waking up time. I've heard that such a technique should break the cycle.

I know getting up earlier is the last thing you need but, if she's tired enough, she'll go back to sleep. Perhaps try this on a Friday night, so you can catch up on your sleep over the weekend, and keep it up for 3 nights.

hmmmSleep and peakaboo - am thinking about getting a gro clock for DD1 (also 2.5, also previously a top sleeper, now starting to wake earlier and earlier and screaming till we get her up. Not such an issue though as DD2 tends to get up at 5 or 6am anyway, sigh). Just how bright is it? DD1 has a nightlight in her room which got us past the terrible 20 month old phase of screaming in the middle of the night and refusing to go back to sleep - but it really is a very very dim nightlight. Is the clockface really bright? Am in two minds, might just be another distraction to prevent her from sleeping...

Thanks everyone, Star at least we can sympathise with each other.

I think I might try the clock first as the thought of setting my alarm to get up at 3:45am makes me feel even more knackered but I'll try it as a last resort if the clock doesn't work. £35 seems a lot but if it works it'll be worth its weight in gold.

How old do they need to be to "understand" that clock? This is my first, ds is 16 months and I know for sure I could not explain this clock to him he wouldn't get it.

I think my little girl would get it but she's a bit older than your bubs. Jessica loves looking at the moon and associates it night time and I think with the book she'd understand it. Can't afford to buy the clock until I get paid next week but I can let you know how we get on with it then if that helps.

lukewarmcupoftea - It's not very bright, for instance it's not as bright as keeping my dcs lamp on on it's dimmest setting, but you can see around the room when it's on, it wasn't a problem for us as my dd insists on the hall light being on anyway (scared of monsters), but I have read reviews where people have said it was a problem.

StarExpat - I think 16 months is probably too young, my ds gets it, 2.5yrs, but only just, but then he does seem a bit slow to get most things, sometimes I think he must be putting it on to get away with things!

Thanks I always feel weird on these subjects when people say things like "oh yes, I just explain to 15 month old DD that we need to keep our food on the tray" or suchlike and I think... I'm lucky DS can point to things when we ask and follow simple instructions ("please get your shoes"). I cannot imagine him understanding cause/effect.

Pool party at the 50fts!

Check out the bunny alarm clock at amazon. (can't link!) We got one of these for my son when he was 2 and it worked well. WE spent alot of time during the day reinforcing it too - telling him that if he woke up before rabbit he had to roll over and go back to sleep etc....

I would also endorce the overtired bit - that has a dramatic effect on my ones waking time and he's 5 now.

Even a couple of nights of early to bed will help, and pehaps push the nap a bit later, then she won't be so tired by bedtime and not so wired.

Clocks go forward in a month, and that saved our sanity when we went through a period of 5am starts!

Try This

If you read the whole of this thread, it may give you the enthusiasm to try this out. It took 19 months of sleepless nights and Dd was cured inside a week.

My Ds did just this at 2 years 3 months - I was pg with no 2 and it was horrible. He was still napping for about an hour to an hour and a half in the day. It went on for about 2 months over which time I completely cut his nap out (that was hard too but I used to lie him with a blanket on the sofa and a lot of cbeebies and it eventually stopped although going out in the car was a challenge !. He's never slept much past 6.30am anyway and goes down always at 7pm. Putting him to bed later just made it worse as he was soooo tired. I'm afraid after about a month of him doing it - we were all knackered and I resorted to v.tough love in the end - I ignored him - I tried everything before that time and used to be in tears some mornings when he'd been shouting since sometimes 4.30am and I had to then go to work.....but it worked. Luckily he was still in a cot and a grobag and he couldn't climb out. When he realised that we weren't getting him out either he ended up going back to sleep. Even if he got only another 45 mins or so it was better than nothing otherwise we got in a vicious cycle. I used to go to bed at about 9pm to help the tiredness. Gradually the waking time got longer and I suppose he got used to maybe stirring and then settling back down again. Now he's a bit older he sleeps much much better.

oh yes and I also resorted to a clock on a timer...one of those electric timers where you set it and then move it on about 10 mins every few days....start early and then progress through til you get what you think is a realistic timescale - some kids I suppose never sleep much past 6.30am even if you'd love them too ! I suspect 5.30am would seem like a breakthrough to you at the moment though wouldn't it.

You have my utmost sympathy !