My two year old wakes up at 4:45am every morning..... Help

[jellyjem]

I'm at my wits end, she used to sleep really well but for the last month or so she's been waking earlier and earlier and now she's awake at 4:45am.

She doesn't cry when she wakes up just shouts for either myself or my hubby to go to her and if we ignore her which we tried yesterday and today she starts screaming and banging the walls with toys. Very hard to ignore and I feel guilty as she must be waking up our next door neighbour too.

When we go into her she's usually still sucking her thumb so she must still be tired, I can usually manage to get her back into bed and I just tuck her in and say "go back to sleep, its too early" or something similar and then leave her room again straight away rather than make a big issue out of it but within 10 or 15 minutes she's awake again and the pattern starts again.

I'm so tired today I had to drag myself into work and I've drank so much coffee in an effort to stay awake that I've got the shakes. Please can someone give me a strategy of what to do/how to cope with this. Will she grow out of it? She used to be a brilliant sleeper and still goes to bed really well but the early mornings are now getting that early they're starting to turn into bad nights.

The bolt idea sounds terrifying, I accidentally locked myself in the loo a few times when I was around 3 and I still remember being hysterical.

Have you tried blackout curtains as well as the blinds? I found with just the blinds there was still a bit of light that would come through and wake DS up.

I would also gradually try shortening her nap time and try putting her to bed at about 7 or 7:15?

I don't think there's anything wrong with a bolt - no different to putting a gate outside the door so they can't get out surely?

(as long as it's a flimsy bolt that would easily break if the door needed to be kicked in)

I know people that have both flimsy bolts and cabin hook and eye locks on the outside of bedroom doors which can also easily be kicked in. The reasons range from children with autism, GDD, speech delay, to keeping out dogs and cats, to trying to teach them to stay in bed to keeping out older brothers and sisters.

Hello, we're going through the same thing with DD, 22 months, and it is knackering, although I'm hoping it is just a phase. She had been getting up between 4.45-5.20 all week, then this morning slept until 7.00 and it made such a difference. I hope you get some rest, and please drop back and let us know if the clock or any of the other ideas on this thread worked. I think we'll be trying some out ourselves.

My DS did the same for about 6 months from about the age of 18 months. We tried ignoring him but he made so much noise that we could never get back to sleep anyway. It didn't seem to make any difference how much he slept during the day. We tried a bunny clock but that was very shoddy and one of the ears fell off. Also was only 12 hour clock. The thing that definitely helped was the gro clock. He usually stays quiet until the sun comes up and now we regularly get lie ins till 7am. Wowee!

Jeezus Effing Christ, please tell me none of you are seriously suggesting putting a bolt on the bedroom door of a two year old child??

Are you out of your fucking minds??

She's a small child, and quite frankly it is your job as her parent to get up and look after her, no matter what time she wakes up, not lock her in her fucking room.

It's called parenting, it's a 24 hour a day, 7 day a week job. The answer to this "dilema" is some compassion and understanding, not a fucking bolt on the door.

Get a grip.

Seriously, if your Dc wakes at the same time every day, try the Wake To Sleep method.

I really don't think the OP should take up the bolt suggestion. Personally I do agree with restraining small children for their own safety, but not by using a bolt on a solid door, I don't think it is the same as being in a play pen in view or in earshot of a conscious parent.
I can say from personal experience, that it doesn't take long for a child to become frightened when locked in, just not worth it.
I can't imagine a bolt on the outside of a bedroom door would go down well with a fire safety officer.
The gro clock sounds worth a try though.

A gate would do the job but allow the child to feel safer i reckon. We left a gate on for a long while, mainly as DD's bedroom is right next to the stairs and didn't want her to fall down - but also if I'm honest to stop her coming into our room at all hours. She didn't seem bothered by it really.

Oh yes, a gate is fine, keep your two year old penned, like a farm animal....

or alternatively just get up and look after your child. If she's waking very early and you're tired try going to bed a bit earlier yourself, she will grow out of it, she's only two!!!!

I'm reading this with interest as my DS (aged almost 2.5) is exactly the same, wakes around 5.15 and that's it, he's awake. If one of us lies with him we can keep him quiet at least till around 6, but no longer than that. i could cope if he woke at 6, but 5.15 is a killer day after day after day. Will be looking into clocks and the waking up earlier suggestion.

We have one of these from Amazon

Think its beginning to work although we scuppered ourselves to start with by putting it in a place where he couldn't easily see it.

He knows that he has to sleep until sheep wakes up (set at 6.30). So although he does sometimes wake earlier usually all we have to do is go in, show him that sheep is asleep, give him a cuddle, then tuck him back in. All takes less than a couple of mins.

Not the perfect answer but better than a 5 am wake up and in every 15 mins until 6.30 which is what is sometimes was before. And from talking to others in the same situation it seems that some children are just made like this so the answer is to do whatever you need to get through it whether thats controlled crying, co-sleeping, funny clocks or just sucking it up and going to bed earlier.

Good luck!!!!

Should add not to be put off that this is battery powered. We've had it over a month and haven't needed to change batteries yet. According to reviews on Amazon it is less bright than the plug in one, smaller and more portable, and the batteries last for ages. Search for the plug in one by the same people if you prefer...

Also do not buy this one!!!! We had it first but it was crap for lots of reasons. firstly clock hands kept slipping meaning the time it was set to 'wake up' was unreliable. Secondly there isn't much difference in the asleep and awake settings. And lastly because it makes a bloody big clicking noise when it wakes up so on the rare times your child might still be awake it wakes them up. NOT good

My children are a bit older now - with my first I tried doing the whole 'black out blind and clock and rules' thing. By the time I got to child number three I realised how quick the whole thing goes.

I want my children to know they are safe with me and wanted.

Anytime of day or night. Being on your own in a room at 2 years old is a scary thing. Waking up and not having Mummy or Daddy close by is lonely. Even at 12 years old my son can still negotiate with me if he needs me - but he no longer has the NEED to come to me at 5 o'clock in the morning. My youngest is now 6 and she knows she is welcome if she needs a cuddle at any time.

By making an arbitrary rule for your child about when you are going to be a parent sends some damaging messages. The OP's little girl sounds wonderful - she isn't distressed, but she adores her parents and knows that she won't be lonely with them. If you start laying down the law about when cuddle time is 'allowed' you may find that you are left with insecure children who do not know when it is appropriate for them to be loved.

She's TWO. Love her. Cuddle her. Explain to her that you are still tired but you can give her a snuggle till she falls back to sleep. Take a nap yourself in the middle of the day if you need to catch up your sleep.

All too soon, this 'inconvenience' will never ever happen again - and I miss the early morning quiet chats that I used to have with my babies.

(I work full time, btw. I used to snatch sleep where I could. Drinking water instead of coffee can help you - but a snuggle early evening with your LO can help you get a top up of sleep - or you can go to bed early yourself.)

Co-sleeping can really help with this problem, but I appreciate it's not for everyone.

If your child is waking early and not wanting to go back to sleep even co-sleeping won't really help. I keep a variety of books next to the bed for these fairly rare (atm!) times when DS wakes early and doesn't want to go back to sleep. Still means I'm awake, but at least not having to brave the house before the heating comes on.

Other than that, this is very likely to be a passing phase as always with these things and you may have to grit your teeth ride it out.

IMO, I don't think locks are the way forward, but stair gates definitely have their place for safety reasons, but not necessarily helpful for containment purposes.

I have a consistently early riser who is now 3.8. We do use the light on a timer with some success - she doesn't generally sleep later than she did, but she will amuse herself until the light comes on. If she calls I will go to her, because she will only call if she is really wide awake or if she needs me.

I think that something that we always gloss over on this threads about early waking is that how you function as a adult is pivotal to how hard it is to cope with this. I am lucky enough to be quite an early riser myself - it is an effort for me to stay in bed until 8am and even then I would probably be awake but lying there. I am by nature a lark and always have been - I generally take myself off to bed by 10-10.30. So although it is not nice to get up at 4.45 in the winter - in all honesty I didn't struggle with the actual getting up bit, although my usual getting up time would be about 5.30-6pm.

However, I really struggled if DD woke between 10.30 and 1am because for me I really needed to be asleep then, it completely knocked me sideways whenever she did that, whereas I know alot of people who would still be awake then anyway.

My only advice is do what works for you as a family. Just because you are a parent does not mean you are a saint. You do not stop being a person with your own needs.

The other thing that you might want to consider when locking a toddler in a room is that you might not be able to get to them in a fire...

Greenmonkies - get over yourself will you? I suggested the gate as a softer alternative to a locked door.

If you read my post you will see the gate is there as safety feature and will remain there for some time.

BTW - have you tried getting up at 5am every single day. When my DD was at her worst even going to bed at 9pm was nigh on impossible once you had done everything that needed to be done. So easy to be judgemental.

BTW they might grow out of it but DD is 4 and still waking anytime from 5.

I know someone who tried the bolt on the door thing and their child developed a phobia of shut doors.

fifitot I have been woken at god-awful un-earthly hours every morning for the last six and a half years. By the time DD1 began to sleep better (about 3 years old) DD2 came along and it all started again. There have been times where 4.45 would have felt like a lie-in. And I did this whilst working too, so no scope for a daytime nap.

Don't get me wrong I have every sympathy for the OP, but locking a two year old in their room is wrong on so many levels. As alesmum put it (far more calmly than me) it is damaging to do this kind of thing, not to mention dangerous.

We had a gate for safety too, it stopped them getting to the stairs, it didn't stop them leaving their room or getting to us.

Greenmonkies I don't think anyone is genuinely advocating locking a child in their room. I was trying to suggest a kinder alternative.

The Op is clearly desperate if she is considering a locked door.

We have always had a digital clock by DS's bed and encouraged him to 'look for a 7' before waking us. We also out a pile of books and a small snack next to his bed and that keeps him quiet for a while. Or we get up at 7 and make him a sandwich, tuck him back in with books, and go back to bed.

Friends of ours had great success with fairy lights on a timer. And the benefit of that is, you can set the timer half an hour later on weekends!