My two year old wakes up at 4:45am every morning..... Help

[jellyjem]

I'm at my wits end, she used to sleep really well but for the last month or so she's been waking earlier and earlier and now she's awake at 4:45am.

She doesn't cry when she wakes up just shouts for either myself or my hubby to go to her and if we ignore her which we tried yesterday and today she starts screaming and banging the walls with toys. Very hard to ignore and I feel guilty as she must be waking up our next door neighbour too.

When we go into her she's usually still sucking her thumb so she must still be tired, I can usually manage to get her back into bed and I just tuck her in and say "go back to sleep, its too early" or something similar and then leave her room again straight away rather than make a big issue out of it but within 10 or 15 minutes she's awake again and the pattern starts again.

I'm so tired today I had to drag myself into work and I've drank so much coffee in an effort to stay awake that I've got the shakes. Please can someone give me a strategy of what to do/how to cope with this. Will she grow out of it? She used to be a brilliant sleeper and still goes to bed really well but the early mornings are now getting that early they're starting to turn into bad nights.

OK. Fine. If you feel that insulting other people & saying they resemble a brick wall helps, ok... I think its far more interesting to debate / discuss the issues, which was what I tried to do.

i second the gro clock

Yeah the gro clock sounds great...thanks!
We don't have nearly as much trouble as OP (4:45...so sorry for you!), but DS (3 yrs) is an early riser...and he is clearly exhausted, so I don't think he is getting enough sleep. He has been coming in to us lately at night, which does help things...and while I have never minded babies in bed, I don't sleep well when he's there...I tend to hear every breath, cough, etc. He is a 'helper', so I think the clock, combined with us making it 'his job' to wake everyone up when the sun goes up, just might work...

Green monkies...fair enough, you've done your homework (though, as an infomation professional, I do have to tell you that Wikipedia is not considered a reliable source), and I agree that bolting the door does seem extreme, however, not every one is comfortable co-sleeping nor is everyone able to function properly without sleep. I have always loved my babies in my bed, but I sleep terribly when they're there...and without proper sleep, I get very irritable with my family, which I don't enjoy at all. I don't feel like I'm abandoning them, in any way, and my DD (2yrs) loves her big girl bed to bits...she WILL stay and snuggle in her bed alone for ages, even if she wakes up early.
What's so wrong with offering solutions that differ from yours?

Drop the daytime nap. It's the only way. DS was the same, and he was CRANKY dropping the nap, but would then crash at 7pm and sleep for 12 hours (wheras before he would go either 7-5 or 8-6.....).

Just Do It.

Good grief - 1 person mentioned the bolt, another said it might be an idea. Not everyone on this thread thinks it's a good idea. Most people don't!

Why on earth are you getting so annoyed Greenmonkies? Just because not everyone agrees that co-sleeping works for all?

You clearly adhere to principles of attachment parenting. Well good for you but it doesn't make you right. There are other ways to do things and surely that's what the poor OP was looking at - alternative ways to get her child to sleep past 4.4.5am.

We tried the clock with our son and it worked for a bit, but he's back to waking at 5-5.30 again.

I would cut out naps, make sure the room is blacked out and there are no noises at that time. You could try the later bed thing, but I haven't found that that works.

I've ordered a gro clock for DS. Have told him he's got a special clock arriving and he's been asking where it is!

One concern though, telling him its not time to wake up until he sees the sun on the clock is one thing, but I don't want him to follow that to the letter if he needs a wee or a poo and lie there thinking its not time to get up yet

Well, I think Greenmonkies needs more sleep - clearly her 'method' isn't doing her much good if she's this wound up & angry.

Anyway, Jellyjam, you can be a perfectly good parent and not want to be up at insane-o-clock, there is nothing wrong with teaching children that nightime is for sleeping! It is good for them, not neglect - as I am sure you well know

The thing that worked for us (LO about 22 months) was telling her very firmly that nightime is for sleeping and that she must stay in her own bed and cuddle teddy if she wakes up. At first she still woke us up, but when we went in we were firm - no cuddles, no eye contact, just a simple 'it is nightime - go. back. to. sleep. I know when it's written down like this it sounds harsh, but honestly, a few nights (3 maybe 4) and she was back in her old routine of sleeping through and she was much happier in the day (and so were we ).

BTW I know this wont work for all kids - but it's worth a shot at the FIRM - GO TO SLEEP!!

As a parent it is your job to teach you children life skills - sleeping well is a life skill that is hard to change as an adult (trust me!!). So, I don't agree with letting them get into bed with you at night (unless they're unwell or had a nightmare) or getting up and rewarding being awake in the night etc however there are lots of people for whom this works and each to their own I certainly don't judge people who do - well, only the ones that then complain the kids keep them awake cos they wriggle too much!!

In my experience with the 6 of them, the earlier you start feeding them with baby rice & then real food the better. Give them just enough to satiate them in the day & a bellyfull at 7 or 8pm & they dose through the night til at least 7 or 8. OK that means that they have a smelly surprise for you in the morning that sometimes means a full cot experience but you get a good night. Even with teething it has lessened their occurrences of screaming but with teething I found that sneaking in the room in the dark just before my bedtime & changing the wet nappy so the tooth hormones don't give them rash & cooing them to sleep. Oh yeah, CD/MP3 on only at bedtime too gives them the auto-suggestion that music=sleep. Doesn't quite work with Napalm Death or Motorhead but I found all mine loved the calmer Planxty or Katie Melua songs on replay all night worked wonders. Certainly NOT those AWFUL baby music rhymes. AAAAAAAAAAAAGH I HATE THEM. Maybe it's the lovely music that calms the savage beasts

Its a phase (it can be a long phase, admittedly).

Get up early and get on with your day. Feel that huge satisfaction of having laundry done by 7, and be on the swings by 8am.
Eat lunch at 11am, dinner at 6pm.
Go to bed at 9pm
Don't try to have a life.

Wait for it to end.

at "satisfaction of having laundry done by 7 am"

OP - Nip this in the bud. Drop the nap, feed her pasta in the evening, put her to bed later, and if she wakes at 4:45 again, tell her "night is for sleeping" and stick her back in bed. Do not, under any circumstances, get up for the day at 4:45 am and give her the idea that this is OK.

5.15am EVERY morning in our house. Going to try the WTS method from tomorrow, but dreading setting the alarm for 4am

I co-slept with DD for 6 weeks and didn't sleep well myself at all. Had to put a stop to it as the sleep deprivation was so bad.

I'm going to have to go to bed at 9pm for the duration so that I can get the minimum sleep in. There's no way I'll get back to sleep after 4am....

Interesting article www.dailymail.co.uk/health/article-1252989/What-losing-hours-sleep-really-does-children.html in the Daily Mail online about children's sleep.

There should've been a tongue in cheek emoticon with that one Cote

Personally I'm a morning person, so I never really minded. Plus I always had a baby (every 2 years for 8 years) so was probably up anyway. I'd rather have them in bed early and have some evening/child-free time when I was awake enough to enjoy it. Also, when I had subsequent children it did give me a chance to have 1:1 time with whoever was up.

And, of course, my house was spotless by 8am. [insert tongue in cheek emoticon here]

Our method was to decide the earliest we wanted to get up.

It was 6.30.
And stick to it.
Even if it meant a child ws jumping up and down for an hour in our bed.
We brought early risers into our bed, gave milk to them, changed nappy and refused to get up or engage in conversation or play. As far as they were concerned it was SLEEP TIME till we got up. If child persisted on jumping up and down dawn after dawn cue quick return to cot and end to snuggle method. If it ws nearly time to get up ie: 6.00am, we put toys and books in cot, rather than expecting them to go back to sleep.

Also a substantial carboyhydratey supper at 6.00 for a 7.30 bedtime, or an extra snack near bedtime.

It did work, our early riser is still an early riser but 6.30 is his absolute earliest, and he usually wakes at 7-7.30. He is now 7 years. We had sleep problems with him but we were determined not to get up at 5.00 as we had seen a neighbour who did it for SEVEN years. I kid you not. Her child was so tired that he had black rings, was always sucking his thumb out of tiredness, yet she persisted in believing he couldn't sleep till 6.00 at the least.
[Also never ever put on telly at 6.30, or they wake to watch telly. Earliest telly was at 8.00am - although that was at weekends)

Also we did not drop afternoon nap. No way. Nap dropped age nearly three for all three dcs.

i did wake to sleep and it worked

DS was one and waking at 5 am every morning

we did it for 3 nights and on the 4th he woke at 5 am again

so, 5 more nights and it was sorted

it was brutal being woken at 4 am but DH and i took turns

also, we knew were going to be woken anyway, so at least i wasn't waiting to be woken

Oh yes, and we co-slept A LOT. It didn't change our opinion that 5.00 was too early for us, and more importantly too early for the dcs.

re naps - Not every child needs a nap. DD stopped napping at 18 months. Oh how I grieved. There was nothing to do, though.

My dd has done this since 18 months - she's now 3 and has some good weeks and bad weeks. When we think the pattern is starting again we try to break the habit by making her stay up really late (til half 9 ish) so she is sooooo exhausted. It's just about stopping the habit before it sets in again. Might be worth a try.

I don't know, the staying up late (or dropping nap prematurely) is not necessarily the solution, it may actually be counterproductive for some children that then become overtired & can't sleep well & may even wake up earlier. But depends on the child I suppose, worth trying different things.

With regards to the nap, I suggest cutting it back. If things get worse, you reinstate a full nap.

If things improve and your DD starts waking later, then you have your answer.

Every child is different. Mine happily dropped her nap just before 2 and night time sleep improved dramatically.

A friend's child carried on napping for a full 2 hours til the age of 3.5 without any adverse effect on night sleep.

So you just can't generalise on these things.

Can anyone who already uses a gro-clock tell me how they get around them ensuring that if they need the loo or don't feel well, they can ignore the fact that the sun hasn't come up yet and call out?