My two year old wakes up at 4:45am every morning..... Help

[jellyjem]

I'm at my wits end, she used to sleep really well but for the last month or so she's been waking earlier and earlier and now she's awake at 4:45am.

She doesn't cry when she wakes up just shouts for either myself or my hubby to go to her and if we ignore her which we tried yesterday and today she starts screaming and banging the walls with toys. Very hard to ignore and I feel guilty as she must be waking up our next door neighbour too.

When we go into her she's usually still sucking her thumb so she must still be tired, I can usually manage to get her back into bed and I just tuck her in and say "go back to sleep, its too early" or something similar and then leave her room again straight away rather than make a big issue out of it but within 10 or 15 minutes she's awake again and the pattern starts again.

I'm so tired today I had to drag myself into work and I've drank so much coffee in an effort to stay awake that I've got the shakes. Please can someone give me a strategy of what to do/how to cope with this. Will she grow out of it? She used to be a brilliant sleeper and still goes to bed really well but the early mornings are now getting that early they're starting to turn into bad nights.

I mean a light on a timer.....

Get a gro-clock! My DS1 used to wake up at 4.30 every am. We tried a bunny pop-up clock (too loud when popped), thomas tank engine clock (timing was inaccurate, egg timers...

This is the only thing that worked. He now sleeps till 6.45. They are expensive but save yourself money and get one as your first purchase!

Hello,

Poor you, you must be shattered. I'm a big believer (from experience) in early bedtimes meaning better, more restful sleep (and therefore later mornings). I were you, I'd try an earlier bedtime for the 5 days of the week that you can - treat the other 2 days as 'weekends', if you like, where she stays up a bit later.

As she's got in the habit of waking up at 4.45, then she's definitely overtired by the end of the day, and if you can correct this, even for 5 days out of 7, I think you'll be on the way to help improve her sleep. I know it sounds a bit mad, but I'd try and get her in bed and asleep by 6pm Sat-Weds as a first step.

Does she sleep in a bed or a cot, btw?

I also think it's too early for her to be giving up the nap. I don't think she's waking up because she's had enough sleep, is fully rested and ready to start the day, but because she's cumulatively overtired, which dropping the nap will just exacerbate. If she sleeps excessively long at naptime, you could wake her, but I'd let her sleep up to 2 hours.

I think basically at that age, they can go around 5 hours of wakefulness (ie ideally 7am - 12pm, 2pm - 7pm) before they start moving into a wired/overtired state. So with her wake-up time, she's awake much too long and cutting the nap out's not going to correct that.

We had something similar recently with our 2yo. We reached our wits end one day so after DH went in to check all was ok we just ignored him when he started up again. He cried for about five minutes then all was quiet for half an hour. Then another minute or so of calling for us followed by another two hours sleep! Things instantly improved and now he realises that we won't play his games he doesn't bother waking quite so early and settles better if he does wake.

I don't worry about disturbing the neighbours as they have a dark that barks at all hours so I figure they deserve the payback

or even a dog that barks...

I sympathise. DD is 3.5 and still wakes at 5.30. The Grobag clock is helping but it's a long haul.

Sorry I posted on the wrong thread there, earlier

Is she in a bed rather than a cot? My ds2 (now 2.4) has always been a nightmare night sleeper, rarely waking any time later than 5am and instantly wanting dh or me to get him as he's very cuddly and simply likes human contact. He comes into our bed and plays for a while now, which is an improvement. But the biggest difference was moving him into his bed as he now knows that he can come and see us if he needs to. My ds1, on the other hand, was always great at singing to himself and playing with his toys in bed and it was at least 6 months until he got out of his own bed.

The onlhy other suggestion: does she have a night-light, something very soft, but hust enough to give her something to look at? My ds2 is, i think, beginning to have very vivid dreams and often shouts out in his sleep or even wakes up for a few minutes and needs to be comforted. I'm sure it's monster dreams or other things that frighten him that he can't quite explain. We first got the light when ds1 was at a similar stage but articulate enough to say he didn';t want the total darkness any more.

Good luck with it and hope it;s very short-lived. I know exactly what you mean about the temptation to sleep in the work loos!

I know this isn't very hopeful but ds woke between 4.30am and 5.30am every morning without fail from the age of 12 months to 2.5 years old. If he woke later than this it was always because he had spent 1-2 hours awake earlier in the night and had eventually gone back to sleep again before 4.30am. Frankly I preferrd this to the unbroken nights that ended at 4.30am

First we tried letting him come in with us, but he never went back to sleep and we would then all be awake.

We then spent months training him to stay in bed which he started to do but as he couldn't get back to sleep he would call out every 20-30 mins (usually just as I was falling asleep again)
We did ignore him but his calling kept us awake anyway.

I don't really know how we survived it but through it all I realised he just couldn't get back to sleep and actually from the age of 20 months or so he would often stay quietly in bed (calling out every 20-30 mins ) from 4.30am to 6am. At which point I would feel bad forcing him to stay in bed any longer. We used to be in bed by 9pm most evenings but I hated it really as it felt like I had no time to myself.

He just seemed to gradually grow out of it so that now aged 5.3yrs old, his 5am wakeup periods last only a few weeks and only happen every few months now. Now he even sleeps until 7am occasionally and on two memorable occassions recently slept until 8.30am without the usual accompanying 2 hour period spent awake in the night

Not read whole thread so someone else may have suggested this, but the one thing that worked with both my kids was a timer switch - we set it to come on at the time we want them to get up and they know that if it's dark, they stay in bed. They both went through phases of waking before 6 and we just gradually set the light to come on 15 mins later each morning til it is now at the more respectable time of 7am... ds1 is 3 and ds2 only 11 months. The concept of light = getting up time seems to be simple enough for them both to understand. I honestly would urge you to give it a go, try it for a week and see!

Really sorry to say this but I think this is a phase you will have to just get through.

Dd1 was a really early waker - and still would be now if we hadn't moved her bedtime back to 8pm. Now she sleeps more or less until 7am but she used to wake up any time between 5am and 6am every morning from the age of seven months until five!!

It was a horrible time and we tried everything but nothing worked.

Dd2 I seem to remember went through an early waking stage too, again we just had to ride it out.

Early waking is among my top three reasons not to have a third! I am actually deeply resentful of anyone with two or more children who has never had to experience the horror of repeated early waking. It disrupts your whole life - I remember going out during the week and panicking if the time went beyond nine thirty!

Sorry not to be much help, the only thing I can say is that blackout MUST be used in summer and things will get easier. Oh, and try to go to bed early and introduce her to Cbeebies. It starts at six.

I do feel for you, it has been a while for me being up with a child at that time, but I remember the pain.
I have just checked the internet and the general consensus is, for a 2 year old, you are looking at between 10 and 13 hours sleep a day. If your DD is at the 10-11 hour end of that spectrum then she is probably getting enough sleep. 7:30 - 4:45 is almost 10 hours, plus a one hour nap is almost 11 hours.
I agree, if she is sleeping in the middle of the day she still needs a nap. Not surprisingly, if she has been awake for eight hours.
When the nap starts to creep towards bedtime and they are awake longer then you could drop the nap, but it would be very tough for her to stay awake from lunchtime onwards.
Could you move her bedtime back to 9pm or something, so that you still get some time alone, but also a bit of kip in the morning?
There always seems to be a balance to be struck between grown-up time in the evening and getting enough sleep in the morning.
If you think she is still tired when she wakes, but just feels lonely, could you bring her in with you for a bit of extra sleep?
Hope you get a bit of a siesta this weekend.

i have so much synmpathy for you, I've been through this too, and still get it again occasionally now. I used to come home at lunch time and sleep for 40 mins then drive back to work (hopefully without creases in my face). I resorted to medised, just for 3 nights, and that seemed to break the pattern for long enough to get DS2 into a better habit. I know some on here will flame me for it, but when you're on your own with 2 to cope with, you have to do the best for all of you. No matter what time I put my 2 to bed they wake at 6.30am, even now.

Luckily my youngest is now old enough to be rewarded bribedby chocolate to sleep in his own bed all through the night. I bought several advent calendars for this very purpose and it works! He's sleeping in his own bed for the last week anyway.

I have to say that I used to do whatever I needed to do to get through the night/day in the early years, from a hot water bottle in his cot, to a ticking clock, tried control cyring, everything. But I think medised was my saviour eventually (in desparation).

Most sleep problems are a phase I think, unless you end up with a serious problem, so it won't last forever. I know that with DS1 there was a connection between how many hours sleep at lunch time and the time he woke up, so reducing that time meant later mornings.

Its hell and it seems never ending - my ds (22 months) has been doing this since he was 5 months old - 5am again today (we vary btw 4.30 and 5.30)he just screams or shouts at the top of his voice for Mummy or milk until one of us appears - never goes back to sleep if he comes in with us or if he has milk - he's just full one pulling our duvet off and screaming "up up up" until I get up. Not only does he wake up early he often wakes in the night and will not lie down for me and screams blue murder til I pick him up so I hate it when my dh is away as i have such awful nights. I honestly some days don't feel I can cope with him - ds is more often in control than me and I am losing the will............when will it end!

Co-Sleep.

That way when she wakes early she'll snuggle back into you and go back to sleep. She's only kicking off because she's all alone in her room.

ds does this, since March last year, he's now 2.5ish. Wake-to-sleep didn't work for us, and the bunny clock has had very limited success.
I have totally given up on my principles and am offering chocolate coins to stay in bed till 'bunny wakes up' at 6am. But No, he doesn't think it's worth it (devil child).

Before I got preg the only thing that worked was to set the whole family on ds' schedule. So we woke up slowly when he did and went to bed early. It saved our sanity but killed our social life.

This morning was 5.40am and that is after no naps and a very exhausting day yesterday. I don't know how he does it.

Do what you would do if it were 2am rather than 5am. Treat as if it were still in the middle of the night if little and in a cot.
Mine had a normal alarm clock that meant they weren't allowed to wake us up unless the alarm had gone off. They were allowed to play in their room though if it was light outside when they were toddlers.
That seems like such a long time ago now. Now the eldest is always sleeping over places so I don't care what time she gets up

Meant to say also, I always got up and dressed before their alarm time so waking me up wasn't one of their jobs!

My DS1 (now 2.4) had a phase of waking up at 5am when he realised he could get out of bed and come into our room. Bit but put a bolt on the outside of his door and when he realised he couldn't come into our room he went back to bed (walls are really thin so can hear exactly what he's doing). Explained to neighbour what was going on and that hopefully it wouldn't last too long! Now if he gets up early he gets taken back to bed and told it's too early and he goes back to sleep. If he gets cuddles etc then he'll wake up early the next morning, so we have to be strict

The strictness of your routine...great...the bolt though ..it worked and you didbut a bit risky as an idea...though I think we all know that...at the time we seem too blinkered to see what might happen.

Is your LO still in nappies at night? Mine wakes up after a big wee about that time, I have to change her and then take her into bed with us to wring another few hours sleep out of her. Mine doesn't get up though, just lolls around her bed yelling 'mummy, daddy, someone' and yesterday 'ice cream'! She's know the way to her mothers heart!

DS1 has been waking between 5 and 5.30am since he was 2.4 (he's now 4.3). He goes to sleep very quickly at 7.30pm, by which stage he is usually very grumpy and tired. I've tried everything. The way we manage is to let him into our bed at that time, he often falls asleep again and I bail out to the spare bed. I have no idea how to stop this - I've tried everything that has been suggested on this thread. I should have dropped his daytime nap sooner in hindsight - could you try doing that? I'm hoping when he starts school in September, he'll settle into a new routine. My Mum said my sister use to do this and she stopped doing it within three weeks of starting school. Fingers crossed!!

We had a nightmare with dd at about the same age. We used a timer too, only we attached it to fairy lights on the canopy above her bed. She used to stay in bed just to see them come on.