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Original poster

Everyone is telling me to start weaning my 3 1/2 month old...should I?

208 replies

Cherrybaby · 01/07/2009 14:21

My husband and I had a row last night over whether when to wean our baby girl. His family are all very keen on starting weaning early - his sister has a baby roughly around the same age, and started weaning him at 3 months. I know they keep pestering him about it when Im not there.

Also, he says that he has mothers meetings() with the women at work when they all talk babies, and they all started weaning their babies at 3 months or around then, and nothing "happened" to them.

When did you all start weaning your babies, and is the six month mark too late?

All comments welcome!

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cockles · 01/07/2009 14:24

Ridiculous idea and contravenes all health advice. Six months is quite early enough and any earlier is actively dangerous. Why be
in a hurry? What on earth would happen if you started 'too late'?

limonchik · 01/07/2009 14:24

6 months is your safest option. If you weaned your baby now probably nothing would "happen" to her, but I don't see the point of risking it to appease other people.

limonchik · 01/07/2009 14:25

Plus, if you wait til 6 months you don't have to bother with all the pureeing for months, and freezing things in ice cube trays.

LovelyRitaMeterMaid · 01/07/2009 14:27

Too early for weaning IMO

ShowOfHands · 01/07/2009 14:28

No 6 months is not too late, generally you can't be 'late' with weaning (unless we're talking ridiculous extremes). You can be too early though and risk the health of your baby. Is that what your family want?

Anecdotal, 'I know a baby weaned early and it's fine' stories mean bugger all in the face of research and guidelines. Yes you may well wean a baby early and it's fine for a few months or years but it's a decision that affects their entire lives and you cannot make that assertion.

You know what, I walked out in front of a car this morning and I'm absolutely fine so I recommend you all do it immediately.

HensMum · 01/07/2009 14:29

Why would you?

We didn't wean DS until 6 months. We did purees at the start but it was good to be able to give him pretty much anything and move onto lumpier, and finger, foods really quickly.

WinkyWinkola · 01/07/2009 14:31

What have his family, friends and colleagues got to do with your decisions as parents?

What everyone else does is never a good enough reason to base a decision upon.

6 months is the guideline because weaning earlier could lead to allergies and gut problems.

6 months isn't too late. Too late for what by the way? I know babies that didn't want solids until they were 8-9 months old.

CurryMaid · 01/07/2009 14:33

We waited til 6 months but I had a strange acquaintance who started shovelling rusks down her DS at 11 weeks and telling me how ridiculous it was to wait til 6 months because they won't be able to eat anything if they leave it that late.

Our babies are now 10 months old and my DD will happily eat anything with lumps, finger food etc. Her baby still has to have everything pureed to a liquid.

Feelingoptimistic · 01/07/2009 14:34

NO - please don't. That's much too early. Why would you want to? Current medical advice is that your baby's digestive system is not ready until at least 6 months, and if you introduce food too early, it could lead to health problems in later life.

Horton · 01/07/2009 14:39

I don't understand why you'd want to either. Can you do a bit of research and show your husband some of the many articles that are out there about the benefits of waiting what is only really a few weeks? I can't understand why he'd rather take advice from a bunch of women at work than from you, either.

Original poster
Cherrybaby · 01/07/2009 14:44

thanks for all your replies.

im just feeling outnumbered as many of his family members keep telling me its OK- and of course theres always the implication that im a first time mum, and a young one at that, and i know nothing about looking after a baby. i do alot of research and reading and i know about the guidelines etc, and now i feel guilty for even considering it.

another issue has been using baby lotions and oils etc. im against using any chemicals on my babies skin, and massage her with olive oil - and her newborn rash was blamed on this, and i was repeatedly told to use baby lotion on her face!!!

OP posts:
Horton · 01/07/2009 14:47

I think this is probably the sort of situation where, when your in-laws say it's okay and they did it etc, you just smile and nod politely and say 'how interesting, haven't times changed' and do whatever you wanted to do in the first place. Much sympathy, though. I had lots of this kind of thing from my in-laws, too.

Rhubarb · 01/07/2009 14:48

Tell them to mind their own bloody business! I hate it when people do this, think they know more than you. It's your baby, they've had theirs. You bring your baby up the way you want to. When they start telling you what to do, the polite way to answer is to say; "I appreciate your advice and I'll take it into consideration, but I'd like to try things out my way first."

The rude way is to say; "Naff off and stop sticking your big fat nose in!"

Trust me, if you listen to all these people, you'll look back in 5 years time and wish you'd just followed your own instincts.

puffylovett · 01/07/2009 14:50

Totally agree with everyone else - wait till YOU (her mother, who knows her best) thinks she is good and ready. You will know, because she will be actively grabbing for food and stuffing it in her mouth.

Totally agree re the skin lotion thing too, I have had to tell DP's parents a few times not to use Aqueous cream etc on DS (severe reactionary eczema) skin. Again, I'm his mum - I know him the best. I'm the one that deals with the outbreaks whenever they give him sugar or strawberries . Another reason for waiting to wean !

It's not one size fits all IMO

Original poster
Cherrybaby · 01/07/2009 14:54

Another thing i was told was to giver her some calpol before she slept because she was crying...................................

she was just overtired, thats all, and as soon as we got home and i lay her in her basket, she was asleep. i found it impossible to be polite after this particular piece of advice, and the goodbyes were rather strained.

Didnt mean for this thread to turn into a whinge about the in laws but Ive just realised I was about to lose my ground, and its really pissed me off.

OP posts:
cyteen · 01/07/2009 14:57

Tell them to fuck the fuck off.

Seriously though, as satisfying as that would be, the easiest thing to do is probably to take Horton's advice - smile, nod, ignore. Don't let them undermine your confidence. She is your baby and that makes you the expert in looking after her.

Rhubarb · 01/07/2009 15:00

Your dh needs to develop a backbone and support you on this.

cyteen · 01/07/2009 15:02

Yes, that too.

Re. the Calpol, I've found that my nan and stepmum are particularly quick to blame everything on teeth. DS is 10 months and hasn't got a single one yet!

ShowOfHands · 01/07/2009 15:06

Oh fgs. Calpol for a non-poorly child? And a lot of babies get that rash on their faces as a newborn. It's normal.

Smile and nod, smile and nod and if you must say something a wry little 'oh how things have changed since you were young'.

It must be hard to reconcile the changes in parenting with how you did things, especially when you thought you were doing your best (and you were with the info available at the time) but to start doling out advice that flies in the face of research and current guidelines is ridiculous. I bet they didn't use carseats either. Are they going to start recommending you sit with the baby on your knee?

True signs of readiness for solids in an average, healthy baby are sitting unaided, loss of tongue thrust reflex, ability to chew and swallow, use of a pincer grasp.

You sound like you're doing a great job. Have faith in your instincts. Quick work in dh's ear too. He needs to support you.

glitterstar88 · 01/07/2009 15:13

I think thats way to early. DS1 was weaned from about 4 1/2 - 5 months. DS2 is 7months and will happily suck on a piece of toast but will not eat all the fruit or veg i puree and mash up for him.

DS1 is now 3 1/2yrs and is quite a fussy eater, prefers smooth food and seems to have problems chewing and swallowing food.

CatIsSleepy · 01/07/2009 15:14

don't do it, it's much too early! ignore them and stick to your guns
my dd2 is the same age-there's no way she's ready to be weaned

Juwesm · 01/07/2009 15:20

Point him/ them in the direction of Kellymom on starting solids - I was reading this through yesterday and lots of evidence based stuff on why not to wean early.

duchesse · 01/07/2009 15:21

No, don't do it! A lot of us were weaned early as babies, and look at the number of food intolerances, bowel problems and allergies suffered by our generation. Just smile and say you're following WHO guidelines. Get some info printed out for your husband to read up on so that he's not relying on second hand info from colleagues to decide him.

duchesse · 01/07/2009 15:22

Oh, and we weaned ours when they started snatching stuff off our plates. Which was 5.5 months, 7.5 months and 8.5 months respectively.

Kazzi79 · 01/07/2009 15:42

It all depends on whether you yourself think 3 and a half months is too early to wean your baby onto solids. Nobody knows your baby better than you do.
My eldest two now aged 8 and 10 both had large appetites as babies and were constantly drinking their milk, on the advice of my health visitor I gave them baby rice mixed with formula milk at around 12 weeks who agreed that they were a healthy enough weight and were showing signs that they were ready for it. Both are now a healthy weight a few years on.
My daughter now aged 4 was underweight as a baby and there was concern at one point that she wasn't putting on enough weight, for me to put her on solids at 12 weeks would have been irresponsible as her organs wouldn't have been ready to deal with solid food, she was about 5 months old when she went onto solids, she is also a healthy weight now.

I would speak to a health professional about it, many health visitors have years of experience in giving advice on weaning and prefer to treat each baby as an individual rather than saying "6 months is absolutely right for every baby", but its most important to trust your own instincts, I know what it was like to have know it all in laws (u should see how their kids turned out as adults!) so I find telling them to piss off usually gets the message across loud and clear, you can go with the polite approach.....but I find being straight to the point works best :D good luck xxxxx