Everyone is telling me to start weaning my 3 1/2 month old...should I?

[Cherrybaby]

My husband and I had a row last night over whether when to wean our baby girl. His family are all very keen on starting weaning early - his sister has a baby roughly around the same age, and started weaning him at 3 months. I know they keep pestering him about it when Im not there.

Also, he says that he has mothers meetings() with the women at work when they all talk babies, and they all started weaning their babies at 3 months or around then, and nothing "happened" to them.

When did you all start weaning your babies, and is the six month mark too late?

All comments welcome!

I dont recall saying that? I did however ask someone who claimed to be a nutritionalist if she believed every health scare to be true. And it is true that the media have a big part to play in health scares which later turn out to be complete nonsense, you may not agree but surely you agree that we can't take every food scare seriously.

I dont need to keep defending myself but i dont believe my health visitor did give me poor guidance, but fair enough we can agree to disagree on that one, coz once again I'm the one with my children who are happy and healthy And if my opinion is that health visitors not being properly informed is just rubbish thats been hyped up by the media am I not entitled to say so? If not why not?

Why does netmums seem to encourage a policy of we must all think the same way?

ooops sorry typo there I mean mumsnet

Oh ok, I do apologise.

I was obviously misinterpreting this post:

" "It is well known that a lot of HVs are badly informed on this subject and don't update themselves on the current information. It is a tragedy because they have a great deal of influence with new mums."

One question, do you know all these health visitors personally or is this something you've heard from the media......because if its the latter, well we all know the media 100% tells the truth........ "

What did you mean by that?

Kazzi, 10 years ago the weaning advice was very different, so your HV was probably not that far off the "current" guidelines at the time.

But the guidelines have changed, and changed for a reason.

7.2 Infants are usually able to take soft pureed foods from a spoon, form a bolus and swallow it at about five months. However, it is not until about six months that infants actively spoon-feed with the upper lip moving down to clean the spoon, chew, use the tongue to move the food from the front to the back of the mouth, are curious about other tastes and textures and develop their eye-hand co-ordination. By six months, an infant can have finger foods. The older the baby, the more readily they will accept a varied diet of texture, taste and amount (COMA 199423).

10 What about parents who choose not to follow the new recommendations?
10.1 Parents should be advised of the risks associated with weaning before the neuro-muscular co-ordination has developed sufficiently to allow the infant to eat solids.
Solid foods should not be offered before
four months (COMA 199423). However, if an
infant is showing signs of being ready to start solid foods before six months, for example, sitting up, taking an interest in what the rest of the family is eating, picking up, and tasting finger foods then they should be encouraged.

11 What are the risks associated with starting solids early?
11.1 Introducing solids before sufficient development of the neuro-muscular co-ordination (to allow the infant to eat solid foods) or before the gut and kidneys have matured (to cope with a more diverse diet), can increase the risk of infections and development of allergies such as eczema and asthma.

These guidelines are not based on observing tow or three or even ten babies and children, but on thousands. And what has been observed over the last 10 years is that babies that are given solids before they are 6 months ol are much more prone to developing the problems listed above. For you to continuously keep chanting "I took (now out of date) advice from my HV and my kids are fine (so far)" you are not going to convince anyone of anything other than how closed your mind is and how incapable you are of taking on board new information. Did you also put your babies on their stomachs to sleep, prop them up with pillows, put them in their own room at 2 weeks old or any of the other things that we now know (and began to advise 10 years ago) were linked with an increased incidence of SIDS?? Or did you take that advice?? Stop telling us theres nothing wrong with the way you did it, we know now that there is!!

And Cherry, ignore the idiot in-laws and women at DH's work. What do they know? Advice that was handed out 10, 15, 20 years ago, advice that has since been replaced and discredited. Ignore them, smile sweetly, give your DH the DOH leaflet (from the link above) and tell him to smile and ignore them all too.

yeh u did misinterprete that post but its cool I accept your apology

That was aimed to point out that the media twist stories (any story) to suit themselves and sell extra copies they say what readers want to hear even if its not necessarily the true facts, I know this first hand from the death of a close family member last year and the media wrote many stories which were untrue but only gave a pathetic apology by email 5 weeks later.

Happy to clear up any confusion regarding that post

I'm glad you agree that health visitors can and do give out dangerous advice

Cherry hope you are ok and still with us.....personally i think this is turning into one of the relationship therads about inlaws and DH not sticking up for you!

At the end of the day f you ahve decided to do something then let them think what they like, as long as your no hurting your baby its up to you to bring them up however you see fit.

"However, if an
infant is showing signs of being ready to start solid foods before six months, for example, sitting up, taking an interest in what the rest of the family is eating, picking up, and tasting finger foods then they should be encouraged."

Heh. This would be DD. She liberated a Jaffa Cake from a packet (unnoticed by me) at about five months and had taken a huge bite before I realised what she was up to. At that point, I decided some rusks, veg and fruit might be better weaning foods than biscuits.

And Kazzi, you do sound a bit shouty and aggressive, tbh. Nobody else is coming across that way. I understand that it must be very very hard to feel that you may have done the wrong thing unknowingly but nobody is saying that people were wrong to follow the guidelines of the time, whatever they were, just that current research may have discovered a few new things in the past ten years. However, even ten years ago, weren't they advising weaning at four months rather than three? Did you just decide to ignore the guidelines then, too? Or didn't you know?

I know someone who was fed from birth on cows milk, topped up with boiling water and lots of sugar. He's over seventy and in rude health. Despite the fact that he has evidently thrived, I don't think anyone would recommend it as an infant feeding regime these days.

Green Monkies the guidelines at the time (as stated many times) was 4 months, my children were on all the above average growth charts in their little books and myself and my health visitor.....knowing that the guidelines were 4 months decided that around 14 weeks would be ok (which it has proved to be for my children)

No i didnt put them to sleep on their stomachs or any of the other things, not that its really anyones business, my mind isnt closed I accept that new guidelines are in place now, I havent chanted anything but yet again I'm having to point out that I tell people to seek advice from a health professional????? So what exactly have I done wrong? I did something that was right at the time, no harm done (and I doubt very much there will be), I've said that I wouldnt tell anyone this is the right or wrong thing to do people are quite capable of making up their own minds on that one, I've said constantly that new guidelines are in place and have encouraged mums to do what they believe is right and if they're unsure then to seek professional advice.......so wtf is everyone constantly going on at me for? Answer the original poster and piss off and leave me alone coz I'm getting seriously hacked off with people asking the same shit over and over!

yeh me and every other mum at that time Horton, all the children I know my childrens age are fine, anything else?
And I think anyone would come across as shouty if people were constantly making criticisms of something thats none of their business (eg my family!)

Yeh mummiesnet they do....but they didnt with me

I think people are just arguing with your assertion that you can tell if they're ready for solid food by instinct. Unfortunately, you can't. There are several clear indicators of a baby being ready for solid food but I'd be pretty astounded if a three month old was displaying most of them, particularly the thing about sitting up unaided.

As for all the children you know being fine, I am delighted that that's the case. But unfortunately, the kinds of health problems that are related to early weaning can sometimes show up a lot later on, as I understand it. Happy to be corrected if this is wrong!

Also, the size of a baby has absolutely nothing to do with how ready it is for food that is not milk. You keep saying your kids were on above average percentiles as though that makes them somehow older than they really were. It doesn't. It just makes them bigger.

I had some dreadful experiences with HVs personally so I wouldn't trust their advice about anything any more!

Anyway, I don't want to get shouty myself so I think I will go and do something else for a while!

Apologies for making a typo....point proved about people picking at things that arent important!

Just one question, those with health problems later on? How can anyone prove thats down to the age they were weaned? There could be a number of contributory factors such as lifestyle, continued poor diet etc, has anyone ever proved that early weaning is the sole cause? Because I doubt very much that they have.

I think the point is that the later health problems are something where early weaning is a contributory factor for them showing up at some point. So IBS, intolerances, allergies etc are all just more likely if a child has been weaned early. It might very well be that the child won't have any of those problems but why on earth would you take the chance if you know that it could cause illness?

Also, I have no idea what you mean about a typo. Is that directed at me?

If you think that your family is none of our business (which ultimately it isn't, and, you know, good luck to you) why on earth post on a thread and offer your experience? You can't expect people to ignore what you've said if they think that it could be dangerous.

Sorry ignore the typo comment I read something wrong

Fair point......but its back to the old should I stop my child from playing sport if theres a risk he could break his leg? Theres a risk with everything in life.

I posted on the thread as the op asked if weaning at 3 and a half months was too early, I was giving my own personal experiences and at the same time told her to do what she believes is right and to consult a healh professional if necessary, i wasnt to know people were gonna jump down my throat as if I'm a child abuser, its not for people who've never met my children to tell me that they can't be ok because I did something that the WHO no longer advise.

Im sure there are many people in later life who have certain problems but my personal view is that the age of weaning isnt 100% to blame for the problem.

Kazzi - nobody jumped on you like a child abuser and noone said your children arent okay. You are exaggerating and making out people like me are something we are not.

No, you don't need to explain anything Kazzi, but if you don't answer our questions we're entitled to think you're misguided.

demanding I explain myself!

How is that demanding you explain yourself. We asked a straightforward question a few times (the one about instinct and gut readiness) , you didn't answer, so I agreed you don't have to answer anything but if you can't argue your side of the case then we will make our own assumptions about that

Don't like being accused of saying things I haven't said, especially as an example of aggressiveness. I have not been aggressive and I'm annoyed that people are saying I have been.

Do you know what I think I'd better leave this. I don't appreciate being called aggressive or people twisting my words to say I've said the opposite of what I actually said. I'm trying to be calm here but I'm actually fuming and shaking.

"its back to the old should I stop my child from playing sport if theres a risk he could break his leg?"

No. It's much more like should I actively force my child to play a sport that his body isn't mature enogh to cope with in the knowledge that he might break his leg permanently?

I don't think you were at all aggressive, StealthPolarBear. The only person who's been aggressive is Kazzi.

Right I'm not being funny people but dont u think its time to get over it and leave me alone, Greensleeves wherever you are???? Greensleeves has said I'm making these topics about me, nope its people that can't let something go that are making this topic about me, I've already asked you all to get off my case and get back to the original topic but you all seem to think ganging up is more appropriate (go on tell me I'm wrong about that as well but all your recent posts prove it) Stop getting confused between aggression and assertiveness, maybe you have ranting aggressive minds which is why your reading my posts in the wrong way, its a very very sad world when a mum cant even share her experiences on the net without the nasty cyber bullying I've had in return. Oh well I'm over it so I'll leave you.....ahem....."mature".....adults to get back to the original topic if you can actually find it in you to stop talking about me

Toodles xxxxxxxxxx

Kazzi if you had another baby now would you start solids at 14/20 weeks or wait until closer to 6 months as per the new guidelines?

I understand you followed the guidelines that were current at the time (pre-2003) and as far as I'm concerned the difference between 14 weeks and 16 weeks is negligible, just like the difference between 23 weeks and 26 weeks, I prefer to go with the LLL figure of "around the middle of the first year" ie, roughly 6 months, not bob-on 26 weeks exactly!

What's annoying everyone me is the way you keep saying "it hasn't done them any harm", when the truth is you don't know if it has or hasn't yet. There is no need to justify what you did based on the guidelines and HV advice at the time, but you seem to be saying that you still think it's an ok age to give solids, instead of saying it was what was advised at the time, but maybe not what you would do now. Do you follow me??

Kazzi peppering your posts with doesn't make you any less aggressive.

Stealth you've not been aggressive at all.

I wont be having any more children Green Monkies, not sure why this question has been directed at me (proof that people on here cant drop the cyber bullying) as its nothing to do with the OP but its a fair question so I'll answer it. I'm presuming you havent read any of my previous posts about how I weaned my 4 yr old in 2005 so I'll (as always) repeat myself

My 4 yr old was weaned at 5 months as thats the time I believed she was ready to be weaned, nothing to do with the guidelines but my choice as a mum.

Hope thats a satisfactory answer to your question

oh look more people jumping on the ganging up bandwagon......why cant you all get back to the OP.....why is that so hard for people to do, I'm outta here lol, happy discussions

Oh and for the record the smiles are coz I'm a cheery person, try smiling.....its free and it can actually be quite contagious