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Everyone is telling me to start weaning my 3 1/2 month old...should I?

208 replies

Cherrybaby · 01/07/2009 14:21

My husband and I had a row last night over whether when to wean our baby girl. His family are all very keen on starting weaning early - his sister has a baby roughly around the same age, and started weaning him at 3 months. I know they keep pestering him about it when Im not there.

Also, he says that he has mothers meetings() with the women at work when they all talk babies, and they all started weaning their babies at 3 months or around then, and nothing "happened" to them.

When did you all start weaning your babies, and is the six month mark too late?

All comments welcome!

OP posts:
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Kazzi79 · 06/07/2009 23:50

I dont hate this forum at all nor do I hate anyone on here, people say I make this topic about me but tbh its the people that keep replying to my posts that make it about me, you could just find someone else to ask questions to I'm not forcing people to keep replying they do so of THEIR own free choice (nice one for spotting the mistake btw, personally I spot plenty on here but think pointing it out is very petty) I came back on before being friendly, and as people keep pointing out it is a public forum therefore like the rest of you I have every right to post on here.

I'm not here to make friends or enemies just to put my point of view across like everyone else, if you don't like my posts thats cool I'm not gonna stop being outspoken just because someone doesn't like me or what I have to say.

Kazzi79 · 06/07/2009 23:52

Anyway nighty night everyone sleep well xxxxx

idontbelieveit · 06/07/2009 23:58

bloody hell, just read this thread and realised i'm never going to get that 10 minutes of my life back!

OP - I weaned dd1 around 6 months once she was sitting up and had pincer grip etc (she was breastfed). She didn't really eat more than a couple of mouthfuls per meal until she was around 1 year old and now will eat absolutely anything (she's just 3)
dd2 is 5 months and until she's sitting up picking up food for herself she will be exclusively breastfed. I'm lucky cos my family have always supported my feeding choices and I would definitely agree with the poster who said nod, smile and ignore the bad advice!

Alibabaandthe40nappies · 07/07/2009 00:01

How can it be petty to point out my own mistake?

Yes you do have the right to post on here, but people also have the right to challenge what you post, which you seem to be disputing.

Kazzi79 · 07/07/2009 00:12

Whoops sorry I made the same mistake in a previous post I thought thats what you were refferring to LOL hand shakes on that one

I dont mind people challenging what I say, tbh I see it from both sides I'm open minded enough to accept other peoples views and I'm not for one minute disputing what the WHO guidelines are, I think its a shame that people haven't been more respectful of my right to have a different view (and you can't deny people have deliberately pulled apart things in my posts to pick at, things that arent even to do with the topic such as use of smileys etc)

I don't understand the problem (although I'm sure someone will tell me) that people have with the fact I weaned my children earlier at a time when the guidelines were earlier, I don't see how thats anyones business, I understand the points people make regarding the changes in guidelines, just because I dont agree with all the points people make doesnt mean I'm being ignorant or disputing anything, just means I make my own decisions on things as everyone else has done on here.

Anyway really am buggering off to bed now lol take care ppl

proverbial · 07/07/2009 00:40

People act like they know stuff because they read it in a book? How dare they go and learn some facts, surely kazzi and her homespun wisdom knows best?

Heres a hint, nobody cares what you did. They are merely pointing out that anyone who wants some real advice shouldn't listen to you.
And you really need to get the hell over yourself, you are precious in the extreme. All you write is me me I I me me.

Kazzi79 · 07/07/2009 09:07

LOL and funnily enough all other people such as yourself and a couple of others on here write is kazzi this kazzi that ooooo lets copy and paste the majority of Kazzi's posts and pick arguments with absolutely everything Kazzi says just for the sake of it(aint that right Hor), lets tell kazzi we dont care what she did (still cant work out why people who arent interested would spend so much time even mentioning my name) so really I don't think its me who should get over myself I think its others who need to chill, but on that subject why should anyone think any less of themselves just because some bitter person on mumsnet says so. Lets say anything we can in an attempt to put Kazzi down (doesnt work girls but keep trying if it makes you happy).

And yeh KAZZI does know whats best for her family, I think you (amongst others) are the ones displaying ignorance in not acknowledging the fact I've constantly said I'm not advising it for anyone else. I'm advising people to do things THEIR way just because something was right for me doesnt mean its right for others, people are perfectly capable of working out what works for them. I put this to bed long time ago, its others carrying it on I've gotta be honest its just amusing me now that people can't get over it and keep putting my name in their posts, by all means keep posting your advice for others I've not once rubbished anyone elses posts coz I'm open minded enough to accept more than one way works for people. Shame others can't open their minds a bit more but thats their choice (and funnily enough out in the real world plenty of people successfully wean their babies between 4-6 months)

FWIW (and I have already said this) I think the OP should stick to her guns, she obvs doesnt think now is the right time to start weaning and she should tell her family to keep their noses out.

proverbial · 07/07/2009 09:29

Another long post all about you.

You do realise that the main point of these forums is advice, do you? So your answer on every thread "everyone should do what they think" is at best unhelpful, but more precisely fatuous and dull. And badly spelled. And annoying.

And you're not getting the last word, no matter how much you ramble on (and I'm sure you can come up with several more posts "all about yourself")

mamadiva · 07/07/2009 09:58

I'm going to stick to the OP here but I am also going to bleat on about my own situation so bare with me there is a point to this...

IMO best to wait until atleast 6 months but if she is not interested then don't worry about it AFAIK there is no deadline (within reason obviously) so tell your In laws thank you for their advice but you are going to stick with current guidelines of 6 months as you believe this is what i best for your DD and yourself. It's nothing to do with them!

Anyway yes back to me.

When my DS was 10 weeks old he started to drop feeds here and there and eventually was taking about 15oz a day which is obviously not enough and it was a dramatic drop for him, I contacted the HV several times each time being told he's just bored with milk try him with some other foods so ofcourse I thoght well she is an experienced medical practitioner so I will go with it. When he was 13 weeks old I was told to give him 2/3 teaspoons of baby rice mixed in with fruit puree for brekkie and a puree in the evening to make him sleep (he was an awful sleeper)!

He was obviously not ready because we had constipation, constant vomitting and I'm pretty sure he never swallowed any food due to his gag reflex! After reporting all of this to the HV she said that I was just a worrier and it was either that or he starved.

He's now 3 is still and awful sleeper, a really fussy eater and hates anything lumpy. I am lucky if he eats 2 meals a day never mind 3 and I blame all of this on early weaning so please let your baby show you when she's ready. I'm not saying the odd bit of whatever will do her any harm but don't push her and definately do not let anyone else bully you into it!!!

Aorry for going on just thought I'd share

ShowOfHands · 07/07/2009 10:53

Oh dear Kazzi, oh dear oh dear. I think it's time to do as you keep promising and stay away. You are tying yourself in knots, contradicting yourself and making yourself look a little bit silly in the process.

I only came back to this to point out in a friendly way that the reason we engaged with you and your posts was because of the incorrect things you state and the danger that you could be seen as endorsing early weaning. Yes, you claim to only be sharing your opinion and not advising but can I refer you to your first post on this thread:

"It all depends on whether you yourself think 3 and a half months is too early to wean your baby onto solids. Nobody knows your baby better than you do".

Sounds a lot like advice to me. And yes, I c+p'ed your words, not because I'm obsessed with you and want to have your babies though it's lovely you think it's all about you, it's a way of showing we've read what you wrote and we are engaging with it. Instead of, you know, random spouting.

And you seemed to imply that I and others, thought that the gut seals on the day a baby turns 6 months. Please re-read. I said that you look at your baby and their development- are they sitting? do they have a pincer grasp? have they lost the tongue thrust reflex?- and you are led by this. The guidelines are around 6 months as this is when these developmental signs are shown. Does it not appeal to you, observing your baby for its own developmental cues and responding them? I thought that was what you were advocating, responding to your own individual baby? Isn't that what we're all advocating.

Please desist in setting up this dichotomy between textbook parents and instinctive parents. I don't own a parenting textbook, I've never read them. I do, however, make it my business to be aware of current safe practice and to understand the research behind it.

You say you're not interested and you don't care about weaning. Why post? Why not go and look at another thread where you are interested and willing to learn and/or engage with others.

Kazzi79 · 07/07/2009 21:28

Hi Showofhands, I've already said why I posted because I have experience of what the OP was asking if she should do, quite simple. I'm cool about you copying and pasting what I wrote because you did it to make a valid point rather than just pick an argument, I have more respect for someone who does that than certain others who just pick at something someone says for the sake of it.

I stand by what I said in my first post, that the OP should do what she believes is right for her baby and from her post she obviously doesnt feel comfortable with the thought of weaning a 3 and a half month old and she shouldnt feel pressured into it because other people say so.....I've said that all along and still stand by it.

Anyway I appreciate you putting it across in a friendly way, makes me more willing to read and acknowledge what you say than others who just rant and copy and paste links.

Oh and Proverbial, get over this "last word" bollocks, obviously people are gonna post after me and I dont need your approval if I want to reply, no ones forcing you to read my posts, you dont like it simply dont read it and dont reply to it!

Alestorm · 07/07/2009 21:44

Just as a point of interest, Kazzi, it was me who said this: "The research is there - and i understand that you don't want to read it or accept it because who wants to read that what they did could have caused their children harm?"

The key words there, dear, are could and have. Could have caused their child harm. I'm not saying in any way that early weaning will definitely cause your child to shrivel up and die at the precise age of 35. I'm saying that early weaning can be dangerous - look at mamadiva's excellent post further down (or did you ignore that too? )

And - FWIW - in that earlier post, I went on to say that I do understand how hard it is to realise that you may have cocked up parenting, because I don't like reading the (well-documented and peer reviewed) evidence that group childcare before 3 is not a brilliant idea. Let's face it, we're all just muddling along at this parenting lark (well, except you, cause you got your instincts ) and the more facts and research that we can get to help us the better! Of course, observing your baby and watching them for signs that they're ready to wean helps too.

Kazzi79 · 07/07/2009 21:54

Yeh I remember the rest of that post about early childcare not sure if you read my reply, its a shame if you end up feeling guilty about putting your baby in a nursery and again I personally wouldn't believe the research on that one, on the bright side your baby will be in a stimulating learning environment and will hopefully develop good social skills from being around other children at an early age (am I allowed to mention the fact my 8 year old attended nursery from 13 months and is now very bright and sociable after all I wouldnt want people thinking he's ok now after attending nursery early but will be traumered in later life)

Anyway will be honest I was annoyed at that post and the time of it but thanks for clearing it up

LCRNK · 07/07/2009 21:55

You will know when your baby is ready to go on to baby rice etc. Every baby has different needs at different times. Go by your own instinct cos mum normal knows best ;)

idontbelieveit · 07/07/2009 22:16

LCRNK - just wanted to point out that there is no need to offer baby rice first if you wait until they are sitting up and using pincer grip (usually around 6 months) you can give them pretty much anything, they can hold it themselves and get it to their own mouths. You don't have to feed them which has the bonus of them being able to eat while you eat and not having to feed them separately.

Alestorm · 07/07/2009 22:33

Sheesh - have you ever tried baby rice? I have, and it's vile. Like eating wallpaper paste. I chucked it away and gave ds a pitta bread, happy baby, happy mama! Although, his first actual food was spaghetti bolognese, when he was about 8 months old!

Alestorm · 07/07/2009 22:37

I must say, Kazzi, I do sort of admire your ability to just ignore or disbelieve solid, peer reviewed, evidence based research. My problem is that I can't just ignore the facts and the evidence upon which those facts are based, so yes, on one hand I do feel a bit guilty about putting ds in a nursery at 13 months but OTOH it was me going back to work part time or me going completely bugfuck staying at home with him all day!

currymaid · 07/07/2009 22:40

Interesting.

Kazzi79 · 07/07/2009 22:46

I'm very tough skinned Alestorm, theres reasons for this that I wont go into, I strongly believe that theres pro's and cons to everything in life, this is why (and I'm not for one minute calling you a textbook mum) but this is why I refuse to believe research if it gets you to a point where you feel guilty about things you have to do in life, you might have this evidence based research about early group childcare but a few months down the line there will probably be more evidence based research saying children who attend nursery from a younger age do better than other children later in life etc. Thats why I would rather do what I thinks best, by all means take research into consideration if it makes you feel better but weigh up the pros and cons.....just out of interest (this is a genuine question, probably more suited to another topic but what the heck I'm chatting to you on here) what does the research say will happen to children who attend group daycare under the age of 3?

proverbial · 07/07/2009 23:03

There are lots of different types of research all saying different things about daycare under 3. What specifically are you looking for?
Anyway, thats a much less cut and dried topic than early weaning, in which the available evidence all suggests is a bad thing. There is no real dissent on the issue unlike the childcare question.

Its interesting to note that a lot of the qouted outcomes for group childcare

Alestorm · 07/07/2009 23:05

Um.

Yeah.

What she said.

proverbial · 07/07/2009 23:15

But without the myriad typos

Kazzi79 · 07/07/2009 23:16

I was wondering the reasons against group childcare under 3.

As I said theres pros and cons to everything in life, you're doing it for a genuine reason you're not just dumping your child on someone because you don't want to spend time with him, you're leaving him with someone trustworthy and as previously said in a stimulating environment where he will learn good social skills from an early age.

As long as you enjoy the time you spend with your son when you're with him (in a quality rather than quantity type of way) then your ds will probably benefit from that time away from you, don't ever feel guilty for making the best choice for your family (and by the sounds of it a choice you've thought long and hard about) good luck hope it goes well

Alestorm · 07/07/2009 23:17

Where I'm concerned, the took the placenta out and then inserted the guilt!

shockers · 07/07/2009 23:18

I think calpol given anytime that isn't an emergency is just bloody lazy!!
Babies let you know when they need weaning...as duchesse says... in my experience it can be anything between 4-7 months.