Everyone is telling me to start weaning my 3 1/2 month old...should I?

[Cherrybaby]

My husband and I had a row last night over whether when to wean our baby girl. His family are all very keen on starting weaning early - his sister has a baby roughly around the same age, and started weaning him at 3 months. I know they keep pestering him about it when Im not there.

Also, he says that he has mothers meetings() with the women at work when they all talk babies, and they all started weaning their babies at 3 months or around then, and nothing "happened" to them.

When did you all start weaning your babies, and is the six month mark too late?

All comments welcome!

Up to you essentially, not your DH as he probably won't be doing much of the weaning. I did DD (now 3) quite early at 4.5 mths and weaned the traditional way. I found she didn't really ingest much till about 22 weeks and was then fine until shifting onto the lumps etc. She just preferred finger food so pretty much just had that from about 9mths. This time round I read all the research and decided to aim for about 6 mths. Despite haveing a hugely fat DS who all my family thought I was starving to death I made it to 24 weeks before starting BLW. No puree, hurrah! (he was nearly 2 weeks overdue so I reasoned this was 'about 6 mths' could sit well, has teeth, pincer grip developing and just seemed ready....he was!).

He was a 98th percentile baby and managed quite well on just breastmilk till 5 mths (then mixed fed as returning to work) so I'm sure smaller babies will be fine too!

Just ignore what over people say, they won't be the ones doing it, you will be the one stuck with all the hassle of making up purees and stuff.

P.s I just lied to relatives and said 'well I have tried him with a few spoons of babyrice and he's not really interested. Utter BS but it did shut them up!

Smile and nod and agree with them, then do what you want to do. Worked for me

hi cherrybaby

I have a similar problem my mum and inlaws keep telling me to wean my 3 month old early because shes such a 'hungry baby' and i feed her 'too often'.. Im breast feeding and inend to exclusively until 6 months and carry on whilst weaning until shes over 1 or until I decide i want to stop. im a young mum too and know how undermining it can feel when people tell you what to do even if there intentions arent bad just politely tell them that you would rather stick to the guidelines of weaning, better safe than sorry.

Sound advice kidstunes!

Mum2b09: People who go on about how much baby's feed/feeding too often have usually never bf a baby so have no idea. Especially in hot weather, when delicious breastmilk is so thirst-quenching for Lo's

I had this from my inlaws too - they were obsessed with weaning at "12 weeks or 12 pounds, whichever is first". My ds was 12 pounds at 8 weeks! They went on about it a bit too much and I ended up threatening to clobber one of them at Christmas! It hasn't been mentioned since....

Stick to your guns! I know it's really awkward, but you'll regret it later if you're pressured into doing something that you know isn't right.

Just to clarify here.

There is no link between the size of a baby/its weight and readiness for weaning.

And instinct alone cannot tell you a baby is ready for solids, only that they are hungry and the best thing for that is more milk. A baby is ready for solids when its gut seals and as you can't see into your baby's tummy, you do not know when this is. The external cues listed above- sitting unaided, loss of tongue thrust, pincer grasp, chewing and swallowing are the signs that your child is ready for more and they are thought to mirror their inner maturation. None of this waking at night, looking at your food rubbish.

It's silly to say 'oh he's a big baby he needs more' isn't it when it's milk alone that made him that big? There are far more calories in milk than in puree or baby rice. So if a baby is 'hungry' then milk is the first option.

Interesting advice Show of Hands, but I chose to follow the advice from my health visitor who'd been in the job for 20 years and contradicts everything in your post and all 3 of my children never had any problems feeding, it was my instict that prompted me to seek the advice from a health professional and the fact that I knew my babies better than anyone else imo proved me right.

I'm not a health professional but I personally believed for my children their weight etc WAS the factor in whether or not they were ready for weaning, something that was backed up by health professionals.

Likewise friends who've had babies that have slept through the night and suddenly started waking again found that this stopped once they started weaning so I think to say thats rubbish is a little narrow minded.

So I still give the same advice....trust your own instincts as a parent, seek advice from a health professional and do what you think is right for your own baby.

I agree with your sentiment Kazzi but sadly many health professionals don't actually offer up to date advice

Some of the tosh my HV comes out with makes me laugh.

The NHS guidelines are here and they say six months, and certainly NEVER before four months, so you can show this to your IL's and tell them to stick it in their pipe and smoke it.

My HV told me to feed my DS lots of sugary puddings as he wasn't following his centile.

Because turning him into a sweettoothed, rotten teeth lardarse is definitely what we're aiming for here, isn't it

Kazzi perhaps you could expand a little on how instinct allows you to see that your child's gut has matured in readiness for solids? You know, instead of looking at research and the guidelines that follow that research?

"all 3 of my children never had any problems feeding" Again, that's anecdotal and like I said earlier, I walked out in the road without looking today and I'm fine so there's no point bothering to look. Anecdotal stories are not relevant.

"I'm not a health professional but I personally believed for my children their weight etc WAS the factor in whether or not they were ready for weaning, something that was backed up by health professionals" Again that's your personal belief but any health professional practicing today who thinks that an average healthy child is ready for weaning based on weight is ill informed and frankly dangerous.

I don't doubt that a baby goes longer between feeds once you offer baby rice and this contributes to them sleeping through again. I do doubt that this is little to do with readiness for solids and actually to do with the time and difficulty to digesting baby rice when your body just isn't ready for it.

I'm pleased your children are healthy. I hope they continue to be so.

I've just remembered that when my pushed me to put DD on solids at 5 months because she was 98th centile and I politely said I'd rather not due to a history of asthma in the family she said the best way to avoid asthma was a healthy, varied diet so weaning was definitely the way forward!

I'm fairly certain she hadn't read the research the guidelines are based on.

when my health visitor, sorry

As others have said - no point, no benefits in early weaning.

My friend is weaning her 15-week-old boy, and apparently he has piles from straining where he is constipated

I completely agree with ShowOfHands.
Kazzi - yes, all babies are different, and 6 months IS a guideline, not a prescription, BUT.. there is a reason why 6 months is a guideline. Some babies will be ready a little earlier, some later, but it is safer to wait until 6 months because you can be fairly sure that they are able to deal with the solid food around this time.
To wean at 12 weeks now the guidelines are 26 weeks would be irresponsible. You can't use the caveat "well my instinct is telling me to". It's so far before the minimum recommended weaning age (17 weeks), which is based on actual research, not just plucked out of the air. I understand it's difficult when guidelines change and we did a certain thing in the past that now goes against guidelines. If there is a time 5 years later when they decide weaning at 6 months is not recommended for some reason and to wait until 9, I won't be telling mums that "I did it like that, and dd is fine, so go ahead". I'll accept that I did the best I thought at the time with the information I had available, but that maybe new research has disproved it.

Goingnowherefast, my eldest 2 were weaned at 12 weeks on MY instinct and the advice of a health professional (at this time the guidelines stated 4 months was the correct weaning age), both these children are now healthy 10 and 8 year olds. I actually CAN say "I did it like that and it was fine" because thats true! I certainly wasn't irresponsible then and am not now. My 4 year old was weaned at 5 months as thats when she was ready for it. Many mums I know think their babies are ready for weaning before 6 months so they wean their babies before and law and behold the babies are absolutely fine!
Of course not every baby will be ready some won't even be ready by 6 months, but I personally think a mum knows her baby far better than a book does, books should be there for guidance when you need it not to completely tell you every step of bringing up a child. Being a parent is a learning process but if people don't have the common sense to follow their own instinct then they're not ready to be parents in the first place, imo anyway.

Showofhands.....if I had the time and nothing better to do then I would sit and look for research into the matter but I'm too busy to do that!

So how does instinct allow me to know???? Hmmm tough one....NOT!

Well as a parent I spend everyday with my children and have done since the day they were born, this allows me to know whats normal for them and what isn't normal for them, as a new parent theres a little thing called trial and error (part of the learning process I mentioned in my previous post)where if you think there is something wrong with your baby you try different things to get a solution, now I've got to be honest I am struggling to remember back as far as 8 and 10 years ago (as I previously mentioned I have a very busy life) so I can't really remember what it was that prompted me to try weaning other than things like good weight gain, watching others eat their food with great interest, fingers in mouth, waking up again through the night having slept through from 5 weeks probably amongst other things. I'm lucky in that I had a very good health visitor and I asked her if it would be too early to start weaning at 3 months (the guidelines at the time were 4 months) she advised me there would be no harm in giving it a go if I wanted to and suggested baby rice mixed with his normal milk.

I did this with both my eldest 2 as previously said, with my first it worked a treat he was back to sleeping through the night again and tbh thats the only change, ten years on he isnt traumered! My second child was never a good sleeper due to other unrelated health problems but again it didnt harm him and like his brother he is perfectly fine and not suffering post traumatic stress from being weaned a little early!

I'll make clear I am NOT telling anyone on this thread that 3 months is the right or wrong time to start weaning, just pointing out that in MY situation it was the right thing to do, regardless of whether or not I have the approval of others. I am encouraging people to do what they believe is right for THEIR child, as I don't know their child I won't tell them what to do.....and a book doesnt know their child either!

Kazzi - you rather miss the point. Your kids are fine now, but a lot of problems don't show up until later in life. I obviously hope that they will continue to be perfectly healthly, but it's not possible for you to say that they will suffer no ill effects from early weaning. It is not random 'books' giving this information, it is current medical advice based on evidence from research.
It is well known that a lot of HVs are badly informed on this subject and don't update themselves on the current information. It is a tragedy because they have a great deal of influence with new mums.

Anyway to return to the OP - you stick to your guns . You will do your baby no harm by waiting, but you may do harm by not waiting. I had pressure from my inlaws as well ' oh poor child you aren't going to make him sit there while we eat with nothing? He will be miserable'
Er actually no, because he's never eaten so he doesn't miss it!!

Cherrybaby, I have two DCs with a biggish age gap and the advice on weaning has changed since the first - when it was no earlier than four months, to the present day - which is no earlier than six months.

I think these well meaning/interfering people just don't realise the advice has changed, so you stick to your guns.

I've actually not missed any point, tell ya what I'll give up eating certain foods because 40 years down the line they might give me cancer (if we listened to all such health scares we'd die of anorexia), I'll stop driving a car because someone might crash into me, I'll stop walking down the street coz I might get mugged....oh hang on that means I spend my life indoors....should be safe there hey....wait no I could fall down the stairs or I could get electrocuted!

Apologies for not spending my life as a negative thinker as many other mums do! Yes years down the line they might have health problems, so should I stop my children from playing sport as they might break their leg (just thought I'd get that in as we seem to have adopted a prevention is better than cure attitude), should I stop my children playing out in case they get kidnapped? Should I just wrap them up in cotton wool to the point where when they become adults they can't cope with the real world?

And yes as I've said all along the original poster should do what SHE believes is right and tell her inlaws to piss off and mind their own business

How lovely, a reasoned arguement

"It is well known that a lot of HVs are badly informed on this subject and don't update themselves on the current information. It is a tragedy because they have a great deal of influence with new mums."

One question, do you know all these health visitors personally or is this something you've heard from the media......because if its the latter, well we all know the media 100% tells the truth........

Just a point I was making with my other post no bad feeling intended, only miserable people live their life with the "what if" attitude, the rest of us just go out and live our lives as we see fit

Kazzi - the things you list in your post are not signs of readiness for weaning. All babies shove their fingers in their mouths, all babies dribble, and all babies wake in the night for all sorts of reasons. And guess what - my baby watches me read but i'm not going to start teaching her phonics! Watching you eat is not a genuine sign of readiness for weaning.

True signs of weaning: Being able to sit up unaided, developing pincer grip, being able to independently feed self finger foods, loss of tongue thrust reflex.

Sorry to piss on your bonfire, and I'm glad your dc are fine, but saying, "Well my kids are fine," is irrelevant. I appreciate that you're not telling anyone to wean at 12 weeks/3 months but the facts and research point towards waiting for true signs of readiness before weaning.