Everyone is telling me to start weaning my 3 1/2 month old...should I?

[Cherrybaby]

My husband and I had a row last night over whether when to wean our baby girl. His family are all very keen on starting weaning early - his sister has a baby roughly around the same age, and started weaning him at 3 months. I know they keep pestering him about it when Im not there.

Also, he says that he has mothers meetings() with the women at work when they all talk babies, and they all started weaning their babies at 3 months or around then, and nothing "happened" to them.

When did you all start weaning your babies, and is the six month mark too late?

All comments welcome!

Green Monkies (and I'm putting this a cross in a nice way) I understand why you feel guidelines are important but I'm just not a text book mum, I prefer to learn out in the real world its where you get the best experience.

cyberbullying -oh purlease.

People are coming back because you keep saying you are being bullied.

That's ridiculous.

Hercules, how many times since the post where I asked people to leave me alone have people directed comments at me even though I asked them not to? Make your mind up about whether or not its cyber bullying but personally I think it is, naturally I dont expect any of the people ganging up to agree, but I really wish people could stop being so petty and get back to the original post and stop feeling the need to direct comments at me when I've clearly stated that I've said all I want to say regarding early weaning.

I'm sure its not much to ask that people stop questionning and directing petty little comments at me and get back to the original topic, but it aint my fault if (as you've all proved) you aint adult enough to do that.

If you are so upset and feel "bullied" why don't you just leave it alone and go away? Its not hard, close the screen down, they can't chase you home, those nasty "cyber bullies"

You can't tell people how to respond to you on an open forum, it doesn't work like that. Either get the hell over yourself or go away. Or carry on whinging like a spoilt child, whatever.

LOL

Have to have the last word do you? Not surprising, since you've tried to make the thread all about yourself. Yawn.

I'm not upset......however if those comments were aimed at someone a little more sensitive just for sharing life experience (not something they read in a textbook) then they might be upset, if your all so interested in me then carry on, I just feel its a waste when theres a discussion topic to be talked about.

Oh and whoever said they are angry because I keep saying my children are fine (apparantly I'm not allowed to say the truth coz it might not be the case in 25 years.....just like the guidelines for weaning might not be the same in 25 years), anyway I'm pleased that person is angry, why? coz if the only thing in life you have to be angry about is the fact that someones children are healthy then you should count yourself very very lucky.

Over and out ladies.....have fun

Very revealing thread.

OP - you have just seen, in practice, an example of how jumpy people get when what they did with their children is questioned...how aggressive and defensive they are, and how they challenge other people's viewpoints and questioning with a sneery 'what would you know about it?' sort of approach, which is very unpleasant.

This is, more or less, what's happening with you and your family. They weaned early, and see nothing wrong, and justify it by asserting that only they can know what is right for their children...which is only correct up to a point!

It's bizarre your dh is being pestered about it by his family and at work!

The guidelines have never been 4 mths, BTW. They were 4-6 mths until 6 years ago, when they changed to 6 mths, so not really a big change. In practice, HVs used to interpret 4-6 mths as 4 mths or even 16 weeks, which was always incorrect as a guideline. In very rare instances it may have been appropriate for individual babies.

Kazzi you come back with accusations and if we respond you say to stop bullying you and that we need to drop it! What's the point in posting if you want to be ignored...think you just want the last word, well sorry. If your comments are aimed at me then I will respond and I will stick up for myself.

That quote of mine that you put further down the was in a response to someone asking *where people were getting aggressive towards you. So iut's perfectly reasonable to assume you saw that as an example of aggressiveness. Now you're saying we're mixing up asseriveness and agressiveness . Love the backtracking when you're wrong.

Blimey, I can't believe this scrap is still going on

Tiktok the voice of reason as ever !

Hi ladies, just wanna clear a few things up (in a friendly way) I apologise if some of you have read my posts in the wrong tone, being ill and tired over the weekend I probably havent got my views across in the best way I can.

Tiktok is right, the guidelines have never been 4 months but were 4-6 months before it changed to 6 months. I also found some medical sites online which I will post on here when I get chance that state that even though the UK now follow the world guidelines of 6 months, health professionals recognise that this does in fact include conditions in third world countries and that many still support the 4-6 months guidelines previously in place, if thats something your health visitor supports and you dont agree then take it up with her (or him)

Stealth I think theres just been a case of crossed wires where people have wrongly taken my posts as being aggressive and I've wrongly taken other posts as being aggressive which has blown the whole thing out of proportion.....on all parts. And in my defence the fact people have literally taken anything they can in my posts to pick at (even down to the amount of I use) shows that people have come on here with nothing to say other than pick at my posts, anyway thats done now I'm not gonna carry it on if others want to then its their choice.I do think I have the right to be annoyed at people telling me my children aren't gonna be ok at the age of 35 when there is no evidence to suggest that weaning at 14 weeks is solely to blame for health problems later in life (also taking into account the fact my babies were all 2 weeks overdue so had they been born on their due dates they would have been 16 weeks when weaned). My children eat a good healthy balanced diet and thats something I take very seriously and to me thats the best way any parent can prevent such problems.

In answer to the question about mums instinct, say your baby was ill and displayed symptoms of a common cold but you had a niggling feeling it was something more, you can't see inside their bodies to prove its something more but deep down your instinct tells you that your right. Thats the best way I can describe instinct, that you as a mum know your child best because you spend the most time with them.

Kazzi, I see that you are not going to understand the point that has been made to you numerous times about the dichotomy between instinct and biology.

I must stress that I come to this debate as a lentil-weaving, instinct-following hippy.

We know what instinct is, what we are trying to explain is knowing your child better than anybody else and having that powerful bond unfortunately does not bestow xray vision upon you.

A child is ready for weaning when their gut seals. You cannot know through instinct that this has happened. You can only observe the outward signs that mirror inner development.

I will allow that instinct can tell you your child is hungry but since milk has far more calories than any tiny amounts of solids, then hunger is met first with milk.

Please do not believe that a single poster on here is implying your child will be ill at 35. The point is, precisely, that it's not possible to make sweeping generalisations and as parents we all hope that your children continue to be healthy.

What you must be aware of is that this is a public forum. When you make a comment it's not part of a discussion between you and the OP and in important areas such as child health, it is important to pick up on things people have said. When somebody asks a question on here and you reply 'oh I did x and my children are fine' you endorse that action. Furthermore, when you make statements about it being backed up by health professionals, you add further credibility to your statements. It is important that other posters are able to point out where your personal experience separates from research/facts. I do hope you can see this.

It is not useful to make comparisons to a child being poorly. I fully agree that instinct can tell you your child is more unwell than just having a simple cold and thank God there are tests available on the good ol' NHS that can investigate for you. All GPs are aware of a mother's instinct.

There is no test, short of putting a camera down your child's throat, to tell you their gut can cope with anything more than milk. Which is why you wait until 6 months when you can be fairly sure your child is ready and they are displaying outward signs of that maturation.

There is no harm in waiting until 6 months. There can be harm in not waiting. That's the bottom line.

Hi Showofhands. Its not so much that I don't understand, its just that I'm not interested (and I'm being polite and friendly before anyone accuses me of aggression )

My children are long past the weaning stage now so I really don't find your facts.....accurate or not, slightly relevant to my life. As people are quick to point out this is a public forum, the OP asked about weaning at 3 and a half months and as I weaned 2 of my children at around 14 weeks I felt it was appropriate to reply, I know people will disagree with this and thats fair enough but I'm talking from experience I'm not copying and pasting something straight from a website.

I've never been a textbook mum and I never will be, if we all based our parenting styles on what the book says then we wouldnt know whether we were coming or going......thats down to every aspect of parenting not just weaning. Different research is carried out on a daily basis and this is constantly contradicting previous research. The real world is IMO the best place to gain life experience not a textbook, website etc.

I've only got your word for it that a baby is only ready for weaning when the gut seals which apparantly happens the very day they turn 6 months......for all people on this thread know that could just be something you've made up to get your point across. Fair enough if its true then you're putting a good point across, I personally disagree that there can be harm in not waiting to wean as long as the parent feels their baby is ready, being hungry and not having your needs satisfied can't be very nice, thats my view and I'm not going to change that no matter how many links people copy and paste onto here, it would be nice if my view was respected even if not agreed with but then again it aint necessary.
And of course there have been posts about my children not being healthy, can't remember who but someone made a comment along the lines of "I understand you dont want to listen, no one does when they've done something to harm their children" not one person on this discussion topic would sit and take a comment like that being made about their children and I won't either, if any comment made me defensive about the fact my children ARE and will continue to be fine its that one. Look no further than Baby P's mum if you want an example of people who harm children, not someone who acted within guidelines that were right at the time (and that many health professionals in the UK still agree with)

Slightly different point which I don't think has yet been raised (and I dont think anyone can argue with) is premature babies, when thinking about weaning its important to take their age from their due date and not the actual day they were born for example if your 20 week old baby was born 8 weeks early at 32 weeks then for this purpose you should class your baby as being 12 weeks old.

Too much going round in circles has gone on in this thread but I feel its important to put that in just incase there are any mums of premature babies reading this, and I do feel that because I agree with the 4-6 months guidelines that I should point that out just in case any mums are considering weaning a prem baby between 4-6 months.

"being hungry and not having your needs satisfied can't be very nice"

No, it can't be. But given that volume for volume, milk has a lot more calories in it than rice or vegetables, what would you suggest someone feeds a hungry baby?

As for many of your other points, you continue to fail to engage with the very reasonably made points that others have raised time and again.

"I've only got your word for it that a baby is only ready for weaning when the gut seals"

You have our word and a large body of properly reviewed independent research. On the other hand, we have only your word for it and a sample size of two that your children are fine on early weaning. Would you say that a sample size of thousands or a sample size of two is a better way to carry out scientific research?

"The real world is IMO the best place to gain life experience not a textbook, website etc."

Nobody is suggesting that you or anyone should tackle every aspect of parenting with a book, merely that perhaps it is wise to look at what the guidelines are now and why before doing anything drastic and irreversible like weaning your baby.

And while the facts stated above may not be relevant to your life, they are directly relevant to the life of the baby of the OP and others who may be reading this. It would be irresponsible not to point out that you appear to be basing your recommendations on nothing more than gut feeling rather than actual facts.

Funnily enough Horton, I've been searching this online tonight I've not yet once come across anything mentioning the babys gut sealing. Totally agree that if a baby is constantly hungry milk should be given first.....the baby drinks all of the milk and is still hungry then what?

Correct about Showofhands's info being of relevance to other people, I don't recall saying it wasnt, just not relevant to me, I trust thats ok with you?

And yes I agree re the comment about checking guidlines on weaning........hence why I have always taken them into consideration when thinking about weaning my children. But todays guidelines could tomorrow be contradicted by something different, and again the day after and so on.......hence why living in a textbook world isnt a great idea, I dont have a problem if you need to rely on a book to tell you how to be a parent, just I don't thats all.

Why do you keep ignoring and twisting what people say? Who has suggested that anyone here needs to rely on any kind of textbook to be a parent? Looking at your profile, you seem to have a bit of a bee in your bonnet about it.

As for a hungry baby who has drunk all their milk, well, you know, I haven't consulted a book or anything but would more milk maybe be an idea to try?

Obviously milk isnt gonna keep satisfying them and they get to a point where they need something a little more, yeh I'm not particularly a fan of textbook parents, they generally act like know it alls just coz they read something in a book.....just my view from speaking to them in the big wide real world.

Not sure what you said that I've ignored perhaps you'd like to enlighten me

"Obviously milk isnt gonna keep satisfying them and they get to a point where they need something a little more"

So, if you thought your baby was hungry, would you give him or her

a) milk which is high in calories, fat and other essential nutrients

or

b) some puréed carrot or rice which is very low in fat and calories compared to milk?

Come on, it's not rocket science, is it?

"Not sure what you said that I've ignored perhaps you'd like to enlighten me"

How about the calorie content of milk versus weaning foods, for starters? But if you want more, read back and you'll see that you've ignored a lot of good points that people have made.

I would read back if I could be bothered but tbh I can't be arsed, I didnt realise it was the law to answer EVERYTHING directed at me (and face it theres been a lot), unlucky if someone asked a question that didnt get answered.

I answered the particular question you asked, just because it wasnt the answer you wanted doesnt mean I ignored it.

If you choose to give your baby more milk I'm not gonna question that your perfectly entitled to do what you feels best for your baby, as I'm perfectly entitled to do what I feel is best for my children and every other person posting on here is entitled to the same.

(LOL Kaz clicks "post" wondering which part of this post is gonna be copied and pasted into the next one )

Horton step away - everyone has done there best but some people just have to have the last word.

It seems Kazzi hates this forum so i'm assuming that she won't stick around long.

There? Their - tsk.