Everyone is telling me to start weaning my 3 1/2 month old...should I?

[Cherrybaby]

My husband and I had a row last night over whether when to wean our baby girl. His family are all very keen on starting weaning early - his sister has a baby roughly around the same age, and started weaning him at 3 months. I know they keep pestering him about it when Im not there.

Also, he says that he has mothers meetings() with the women at work when they all talk babies, and they all started weaning their babies at 3 months or around then, and nothing "happened" to them.

When did you all start weaning your babies, and is the six month mark too late?

All comments welcome!

Kazzi - but if you could do something really simple that could eliminate the potential risks to your child, then why wouldn't you?

I'm not talking about stopping them playing football, or never taking them in a car, obviously. But waiting to wean does no harm at all (apart from attract the ire of busybody IL's, it seems) and could prevent your children from developing IBS, Crohn's disease, obesity later on in life.

I don't think saying my kids are fine IS irrelevant.....I weaned my eldest 2 children at 12 weeks and they are fine.....its very relevant to the topic! It might not be what the majority of you want to hear and obviously the majority of you don't agree with me which is your right, but like it or not its relevant to the topic. I never once said that it would harm a baby to wait to start weaning, and I agree waiting does no harm at all, but in my situation not waiting also hasn't done any harm. If people want to wait its their choice, if people feel their baby is ready earlier its also their choice, people should respect that.

How do you know it hasn't done any harm?! Further down you said that you're fully aware that early weaning may cause them health risks later on in life - so if waiting to wean does no harm then why risk it?

I'm really trying not to have a go - after all if you weaned your oldest child 10 years ago it hardly matters now, does it?

Incidentally, my dh was weaned at 12 weeks onto pureed roast dinners and the like, and now at 35 has IBS, is morbidly obese and has serious issues with food. I'm not saying that your dc will have these problems, but you accept that it's a possibility? So why - if you know the risks of early weaning - would you possibly say that it's ever acceptable to wean before 17 weeks (at the absolute earliest) if your "mother's instinct" tells you that they're hungry! Can you not see how completely random and nonsensical your arguments are?

And in answer to this:

"By Kazzi79 on Sat 04-Jul-09 01:19:23
"It is well known that a lot of HVs are badly informed on this subject and don't update themselves on the current information. It is a tragedy because they have a great deal of influence with new mums."

One question, do you know all these health visitors personally or is this something you've heard from the media......because if its the latter, well we all know the media 100% tells the truth........"

I know that HV's spout a load of shit, because I've had the shit spouted at me, as have a lot of my friends, acquaintances and people on here! Barely a week goes by on MN without a thread going, "My HV says my baby isn't putting weight on quickly enough and I should give him wallpaper paste baby rice, is she right?"

I know there are good HV's out there, but if your HV told you that it was ok to wean at 12 weeks, then I'm afraid she wasn't one of them!!

I was just about to answer, but I see that Alestorm has said what I was going to say

"I'm really trying not to have a go - after all if you weaned your oldest child 10 years ago it hardly matters now, does it?" bit of a contradiction when one minute your asking how I know if it hasnt done any long term damage.

First of all my health visitor was very good so I dont think you've got the right to make a judgement on someone you know nothing about, many mums in this area are happy with that particular health visitor and the advice she gave me was spot on! Something that as I know MY family and you don't I'm more qualified to say so!

I've never said further down the line weaning might cause harm, where did I say that?

No I don't accept what you say is a possibilty.......as my children live very active lifestyles and eat good healthy meals so from my point of view theres no chance they will become obese unless as adults they choose a different lifestyle which I would accept as their choice even if I didnt agree with it! Again the boring negative persons "what if" attitude!

People on this site are pathetic the majority have a chip on their shoulder just because someone is intelligent enough to think something a little bit different! I'm not asking anyone to agree nor am I ramming apparant facts, advice etc down peoples throats.

I did what I was right for MY family and I'm not having anyone on here talking shit and telling me I did the wrong thing for MY family when I have 3 beautiful happy healthy childrenand have the common sense to be a mum and not rely on a book, guidelines etc (health guidelines also state women under 25 don't need a smear.....Jade Goody died of cervical cancer age 27.....nuff said!) Health guidelines state that eating certain foods increases risk of cancer and certain other diseases yet if we dont eat we die of anorexia, People need to stop spouting this health guidelines crap.....even if you believe it which is your right to, get a backbone and think for yourselves!

oh dear, another weaning arguement thread

I'm a Nutritional Therapist and I see a LOT of people with bowel problems, women with period issues or struggling to conceive, older people with auto immune conditions or arthritis, and yes people with cancer. I also see a LOT of children with eczema, asthma, allergies, bowel issues.

I'm not saying early weaning is completely to blame, because it's not. Other factors play a part such as diet, the overuse of lots of drugs like antibiotics, lifestyle such as high levels of stress. But I do think that it can be a contributory factor.

The thing is, how can we say 'our children are fine' when maybe some of them are suffering from sub clinical issues such as bloating, wind, bad breath, mild constipation, occasional headaches, increased susceptibility to colds and flus etc - many kids are just too young to tell us and we have to be really observant as parents to know that something is out of the ordinary and not just the 'norm' for that child.

I'm sure Kazzi was just following the advice of her health visitor and her instints at the time, 10 yrs ago when things were very different. But nowadays more research has been done, so it makes sense to follow the guidelines as best as possible to protect your childs future health as much as you can. That doesn't mean, however, that other factors aren't still going to cause them the above health issues !

It's such a tangled debate and so very passionate.

Kazzi - "Yes years down the line they might have health problems"

The facts of the matter are that early weaning can be dangerous. The research is there - and i understand that you don't want to read it or accept it because who wants to read that what they did could have caused their children harm? FWIW, i don't like reading that group childcare before 3 can be damaging to children as my ds was in nursery at 13 months when I went back to work and my dd will be doing the same.

I followed the advice of my HV when she advised me to give raw cow's milk to my ds at 9 months, he now has a dairy allergy and quite severe eczema. Now I don't know if the two things are connected, but i think it's likely. I wish I could go back in time and not give him raw dairy so early, but I can't, I just have to live with the fact that I've caused ds to have an uncomfortable and unpleasant condition that he will probably have for life. Some HV's talk crap and give out frankly dangerous advice to very vulnerable new mums. I repeat, if your HV told you to wean at 3 and a half months then she was not a good HV, she was giving out bad and dangerous advice and it doesn't matter how many mums are happy with her, she gave out bad advice. The advice was never to wean at 3 months, even 10 years ago (AFAIK).

Oh - and the cervical smears thing has been changed to 20 for as long as I can remember, I certainly had my first smear at 20, so I'm not sure where the 25 thing comes from! Here - "The Department of Health recommends that women between the ages of 20 and 64 have routine cervical smears every three to five years as part of the NHS Screening Programme."

"People need to stop spouting this health guidelines crap.....even if you believe it which is your right to, get a backbone and think for yourselves!"

Thanks for claryfying that puffylovett, I've not once suggested on here that anyone should wean their baby at 12 weeks and if people would read my posts they would clearly see I constantly say people who are unsure should seek the advice of a health professional, (but apparantly health professionals who are fully trained and have years of experience don't know what they're talking about anyway so maybe you shouldnt seek that advice and instead take the advice of people on the net who know everything about everything).

My youngest child is 4 and was weaned at 5 months (the guideline then was 6 months) I would have weaned her earlier had I felt it appropriate but she wasnt ready.

Again I can say my children are fine because I'm with them everyday and they are happy and healthy, I know my children and I prefer to use experience as my guide for being a parent not a textbook. I don't feel as though I should have to explain myself constantly when I know that my children are fine. I came on here to give an alternate view and tbh I think the response has been ridiculous.

I really think people just need to chill out, ffs its a topic about weaning I really don't see why know it alls need to get on their high horse about it, if you believe your advice is right then go and put it into practice instead of telling someone who shock horror did something else and nothing bad happened.

Just wondering puffylovett (and this is a genuine question its not intended to cause an argument) as a nutritional therapist you must constantly hear these health scares about different foods, do you believe all of them to be true? Because I personally can't help thinking that half the time its a load of crap and I will carry on living my life my way eating the foods I choose to eat coz lifes too short to sit and take everything seriously.

So if years down the line they have health problems, who says thats to do with the fact they were weaned early? Oh and for the record group daycare doesnt do children any harm at an early age although personally I would prefer my children with me at such a young age anyway.

I dont want to read and have no interest in accepting research blah blah because I know I did what was right and to this day I stand by it! I really dont see why you have a problem with that and more to the point if you really have nothing bigger to worry about than the fact I weaned 2 of my children at 12 weeks then I suggest you count yourself lucky.

Provincial lady, what I'm saying is people need to get their heads constantly out of textbooks and learn from experience.

Alestorm - I know you won't stop blaming yourself, because I do too with my DS eczema. But the chances are your DC was just not DESIGNED to digest dairy, and wether you gave it to him at 9 months or 9 years, he may have developed the same issues. Some of us just don't produce the lactase enzyme. Howver on the plus side, it was identified early, caught early and so now you can keep your LO OFF dairy and avoid one of the triggers for his eczema. Not neccessarily the cause

Kazzi - I take a lot of the stuff in the media with a pinch of salt IYSWIM ! There are SO many contradicting arguements out there about different foodstuffs. See the thread about vegetarianism - for YEARS i felt it was the best way forward, until I met the most amazing tutor who has the most amazing success rate, who taught me that we NEED a certain amount of meat, we don't consume enough protein - that she'd spent 12 years as a sick veggie until she reintroduced meat. It was a real eye opener.

I take each case on face value, consider each person individually and try to look at ALL the factors with illness developing. The arguements about all these foods causing illness - yes I totally believe sugar and refined carbs are hugely contributing to diabetes and heart disease. But so is lifestyle and portion size. There is no one blanket fits all with any of the this stuff IYSWIM !

Kazzi, I am pretty much with you on this one. Though I think the latest you can delay weaning the better for all the reasons people have given like reducing the risk of allergy in particular.
That said I started weaning my baby at 20weeks three weeks ago after trying to delay doing so until 6mths as I and DH both have allergies and really didn't want to. I felt guilty about it at first but what people don't realise is that part of the reason for 6mth guideline is from the WHO due to lack of clean facilities for food preparation in developing countries.

I don't care what anyone else says I know my baby and he was ready for solids and is doing great.

Thank you puffylovett thats the point I'm making, just as every adult is different every baby is different too and should be treated as an individual, whats right for one baby isnt always right for another.

Alestorm.....not that smear tests are relevant to a weaning topic (I was just using it to make a point that health guidelines aren't always to be believed), but I can't help wonder why you chose to post an outdated link from 2003 regarding smear test policy (medical science does after all move on), try this link for the latest guidelines on the subject derbyshiremedical.co.uk/19.html

I hope everything goes well Rsmum......and good luck with the anti weanbefore6months brigade on here!

And dont feel guilty, as you said you know your baby best, not a textbook and certainly not people on here, and as I've said a million times my children who were weaned early are happy and healthy 10 and 8 year olds

It's not a competition.

RSmum - that is not true about the WHO guidelines taking into consideration developing countries. It's a myth. Their guidelines are for all babies.

Noone has yet explained how this "instinct" thing is more accurate than the WHO.

WHO dont know my children as well as I do, and as you state from your previous post WHO treat every baby as the same when in fact every baby is different, I did actually go more into detail in a previous post about how people who take the time to get to know their children end up knowing from parents instinct! Life experience is by far the best way to learn about being a parent, well imo anyway.

breastfed till 6 months then weaned onto baby rice and fruit at 6 months everything worked out fine

But it's not your babys personality they need to know about - it's their stomach. Yes, some babies will be ready before the 6 months some after - instinct wont tell you which yours is. There is no harm done in waiting till 6 months but can be harm if you do it too early.

Please explain to me how your instinct helps you see inside your baby's stomach to know.

But instinct cannot tell you when your baby's gut is ready for weaning!!
And weaning isn't a trial and error thing - once your baby has had first solids then he/she is weaned - too late then to see that they are reacting badly using those instincts.
Most of us weren't in car seats and we're all OK. So I'm going to go with my instincts and not bother for DS and soon to be DC2

I dont need to explain anything to anyone! As much as you try and bully me into it....get over it! Blaaaaaahhhhhh blaaaaaahhhhh I can go round in circles, saying the same thing...it was MY choice.....if you're so narrow minded you can't accept that then its your problem not mine, as stated a million times all my children.....weaned at different stages are now happy and healthy and thats the most important thing to me, of course weaning is trail and error.....even at 6 months you might try and wean your baby and they aren't ready, you would then stop for a few days and try again!

I'm liking borinbuggers post "breastfed till 6 months then weaned onto baby rice and fruit at 6 months everything worked out fine"......someone who did differently to me and has the intelligence to put it across in a non judgemental and non aggressive way. The world would be very very boring if everyone thought the same!

You guys are so rigid in your thoughts.

Hercules, WHO takes into consideration ALL babies (like you said) and that includes developing countries so advice is based on situation there, it stands to reason. I would like to add that I am a health professional and didn't do it the weaning thing early on a whim. I looked at the advice and the evidence for that advice and also looked at my child and the behaviours he was exhibiting.

Life is not black and white and I think that sometimes a lot of you MNs can be a bit quick to judge.

Incidentally my DS is much happier and contented now that he is being weaned and is loving all the new flavours which I am introducing slowly and carefully.

No, you don't need to explain anything Kazzi, but if you don't answer our questions we're entitled to think you're misguided.
I'd love to know how your instinct helped you to see that your babies' guts were ready for weaning.
I'm sure your DCs are fine btw - not implying otherwise, just that anecdotal evidence is NOT a basis for recommendation.