5 yr old DS is driving me crazy!!!Please help.

[chocciedooby]

I have been concerned with DS's behavious for some time now and I am really getting to the end of my tether. So many behaviorial things to mention but a few are that he is: -

Attention Seeking
Persistant
Stubborn
At times - aggressive
Very fussy eater

The list is endless. He does of course he has many great positive qualities but I really need help as I don't know how much more of this unacceptable behaviour I can take. I am exhausted physically and emotionally, am expecting baby no.3 in June and don't know how I will cope.

One of the things that I find very difficult is that he wants to be in control of EVERYTHING. I stand my ground, don't give in, say NO and stick to it but he continues to throw huge tantrums (sometimes over an hour long), has peed on the floor and in his bed for attention and will go to any lengths to win a battle.

He will not go to sleep in the evenings and constantly calls dh and I upstairs for silly things just to get our attention. I am so concerned that he is not getting enough sleep. His mind seems to be overactive.

I have tried many discipline techniques (in fact about all of them) over the years and nothing seems to work. I am now considering talking to a challenging behaviour therapist and wondered if anyone else out there is dealing with the same problems or has found a therapist of use.

Please please help.

Hope you had a nice valentines

DS1 been ok lasr couple of nights but tonight he is wired! He keeps complaining that he can't sleep and that he wants us and keeps coming down the stairs.AARRRRRRRRRRHHHHHHH

Hey Mrspurple. How are you?
How are things there?
Just wanted to say hi and see how you were doing.
All ok here. DS was a bit awkward goin ginto school today but the teachers took care of that

Long time since I looked in on this thread and haven't read it all, but am sorry you're both still battling. I can't remember if you've tried this already choccie, but have you given your son things that he can do in his room, that might make him want to be there? eg: audio books. Mine has them if he wants, but only ones he knows well so they won't keep him awake. If he messes around or gets out of bed they go off straight away.

• am so glad you didn't go with the hook and eye idea. No criticism meant MrsP but it sounds a bit extreme My mother shamefaced admitted she used to tie me into bed with a baby harness...!

Blimey Smee!
NO I couldn't go with the hook and eye thing. DH was up for it and was getting desperate to try something else but I just avoided the subject after a while and we never did it. I remember my parents locking my older sister into her room when she was little and I do think it may have affected her for years to come.
DS is not as bad this week for coming out of his room. He has puzzle books and library books etc to keep him occupied. Not got to audio books yet. Simply because I know once we started that DS2 would want one as well and then we could open up a whole can of worms again. If we get desperate again, its on a back burner

I know, I was shocked too, though I don't think it was as horrendous as it sounds
Audio books are okay you know - it makes them stay in bed, if you set that as the condition - mine isn't allowed to touch the controls, and I insist he only has a choice of two, both of which he knows backwards so though he enjoys listening, neither keep him awake as he knows the endings word for word.

Hi Chocciedooby.
I have a friend who has just used a controlled diet to see if certain chemicals in food (naturally existing ones not E numbers etc) had an affect on her DS4's behaviour. All of the behaviour you have described all but stopped with in a week of her commencing the diet. She can tell immediately if he's eaten something outside the diet (like nuts at her mum's house) as his behaviour becomes out of control and it take 2-3 hours to get him to bed at night.
She said she realised she is also sensitive to the chemicals as she had her first full night's sleep in 10 years the week she started the diet. Her DH and DD are not sensitive so the diet hasn't affected them in any way.
She did the Royal Prince Alfred Hospital(based in Sydney, Australia) elimination diet which takes out Salicylates, Amines and Glutamate. It is very specific about which foods to avoid as well as strong perfumes and cleaners etc. There are a few such diets around - do a search and see what you come up with and see if you think it's something that would suit you.
The general RPA link is here:
www.cs.nsw.gov.au/rpa/allergy/default.htm
and this is the link to the 'Friendly Food' book which starts with an explanation about food intolerances.
www.cs.nsw.gov.au/rpa/allergy/resources/foodintol/ffintro.cfm
This was my friend's last ditch attempt. She was starting to think he had ADHD but didn't want to go down the route of diagnosis until she'd exhausted every possible route. This seems to be working so far. (One interesting side effect of the diet is that he eats absolutely everything on his plate - even if it's lentils - and doesn't look for snacks in between meals. Before he wouldn't sit through a meal, was very fussy, then kept going to the fridge to find snacks).
Good luck, whatever you decide to do.

Hi Ladies

Been busy with half term trying to keep the little darlings entertained. Have to say (although didn't think it would be), but have loved every minute of half term hols, as kept to rule of activity out of house in morning home for lunch and DD2 tried to give her asleep didn't always work but watching DVD to alm down kept the tantrums at bay (just!). Had PJ day mid week to reboost energy (mine and theirs).

smee - haven't done the hook and eye thing either, my MIL suggsted when DD1 had stage of coming out of room.

been out with friends today and my poor friend had nightmare with her 4 year old DS (a previuosly placid child who of late has been a nightmare with tantrums etc), maybe it's just the terrible twos has become the horrendous 3 to 6's? .

glad thigs are going ok ish for you Choccie. , keep me posted, it helps when you can unburden after a bad day.