What is the etiquette for leaving children in cars??

[Luxmum]

Not at all? For 2 minutes while you pay for the petrol? Or longer?? I have been leaving my sleeping children in the car (not hot day, in the shade, doors locked for no more than 10 minutes) to go to shops I know they would be hell in, for a few minutes or so. I then come back, they are still asleep, (it being their nap time) and we then go home. Is this wrong? I feel bad doing it, but I would feel worse waking them both up during their naps, hauling their grumpy bodies out of the car and bringing them to inappropriate shops (ie a china shop where I had to get a wedding present). Am I a bad parent??

Can't you do this shopping at weekends? Or first thing in the morning when they aren't tired and less likely to be grumpy?

Take stickers and reward them for a sticker for every shop they behave in.

Two minutes for petrol, on a forecourt where you can see them, which is covered by cctv isn't going to be a problem. Doing shopping is.

'In 2003, 42 children died of heat stroke because they had been left inside
a vehicle. In July and August 2003, 22 children tragically died after being
trapped in car trunks. Leaving children unattended in or around vehicles is a
serious problem. More than one thousand cases involving injury or death
have been documented so far. Those injuries and deaths were caused by
heat stroke, a vehicle being put in motion by a child, children being hit by
vehicles backing up, children choking while alone in a car, being kidnapped,
toxic fumes, activation of automatic power controls, or being trapped in car
trunks. Children should never be left unattended in or around vehicles.'

• from an American article

You may think your children are safe strapped into their seats but at some point they are going to learn to undo them, and it could happen at any time. I didn't think my 18mnth old could open windows until he opened it and jumped out from the first floor. Young children need supervision.

Please don't do it, even if nothing happens, you will get reported sooner or later, and people have been jailed for it.

I do leave them to pay for petrol as imo its safer than walking them across the forecourt.
I have also left the oldre ones age 9 with ds1 for 5 minutes while I whipped into a shop and was parked directly outside but thats the riskiest I would consider to be honest.
I would not leave young ones in the car to go to the shops though its only if the big ones are in there and I DON'T lock the doors. They are old enough to honk the horn if anyone approaches the car.

Only when paying for petrol. And I've stopped doing even that now you can pay at the pump at my local.

Only for paying for petrol - and I lock the car. Also when ds is asleep in the car in front of the house.

Only at a petrol station. With doors loked and under strict instruction to hit the horn if they get frightenned and not to open the doors.
Mine are 9 12 and 14.

Imo paying for petrol is fine, in fact, if you can see your car then 2mins in a shop is fine. If you cannot see them then, imo you should take them with you.
i went to tesco the other sat and someone had left a toddler and a small baby in their car, parked. I thought that they'd gone for a trolly or something, but a staff member said they'd been there for more than a few mins. The baby was screaming and the toddler was holding babes hand. The toddler looked scared :-(

I'll never forget a documentary I saw where a grandmother was going to just 'pop to the chemist' and left her two grandchildren in the car. It was the summer of 2003, admittedly, which was a heat wave.

She got held up, got disorientated, then collapsed. On the way to the hospital she asked for the children. They had to search for them, ambulance went back to all the car parks in the area. They found them, but it was too late and attempts to resuscitate failed.

She was thinking of the children - she didn't want them to have to traipse to the chemist. But they died.

I leave DS for 2 mins at the petrol station/the cash point at the petrol station.

I leave him asleep in the car but go to my nans or my mums where I park right at the top of the drive with the doors open & I usually sit in on the wifi or sit in the garden reading the paper watching the car.

other than that no -wouldn't leave him to go into a shop. he's 2.5

I have left mine from toddler stage onwards in the car outside the little village shop in our small community while I dashed in to buy milk or a newspaper. They were in sight all the time.

Ditto in their prams outside the same village shop. Obviously heatstroke isn't going to be a problem in England for five minutes (if it was particularly hot, you would think again). And I don't think anyone has been jailed for this.

It's commonsense. Obviously you wouldn't leave small children out of sight in a huge carpark outside a large supermarket.

I leave ds (3) in the car when paying for petrol, if I am popping to a friends house and knock on her door first to see if she is in before I haul him out if the car, while putting shopping trolley away after shopping and if he fell asleep I would leave him on the driveway for a few minutes.
Don't see an issue just for a minute whilst door is locked.
I would not however leave him in the car whilst I did my shopping. I would worry more about him getting out of his booster seat and fiddling with the car controls, letting off the handbrake that kind of thing as he is very into the workings of the car at the moment and has a fascination with the sunroof!
(I can't have him in the front of the car at all as he always tries to change gear when I am driving and when I drove my auto he put me into 2nd gear whilst driving at 40!)

I only ever leave DD in the car when I know she will be in full sight for the minute or so that I am gone for - eg paying for petrol. But I always try to plan ahead anyway and fill up with petrol at a pay @ the pump or when DH has DD. I would never leave her alone in the car if she was going to be out of sight.

I was so shocked recently when a really good friend (have known her for 30+ years) told me that she regularly left her baby son (now 6 months old) in the car while she 'popped' into pubs and restaurants trying to flog chefs some produce. I asked how long she was gone and she said anything from 10 to 30 minutes as the chefs loved her stuff!! It had not occurred to her that leaving a small baby alone in a car in sometimes remote pub car parks could be a problem!

I leave them if I have to pay for petrol, or posting a letter etc through friends door.
I would not leave them while I went to shop/bank.
I have left them in the car parked directly outside our front door, with windows open while I sit in front room and can keep an eye. If I disturbed them by getting them out of the car when they were younger they would not go off to sleep again.

But I would never leave them in a car where I couldn't see them even for a minute.

I've left dd strapped in her seat with the door locked whilst paying for petrol or popping into the village shop for milk/bread. No more than 5 minutes. She's 16 months

I may be stupid, but I don't see what harm could come to a sleeping child left in the the shade in a locked car for 5-10 minutes.

Paying for petrol or other situation where I can see them - less than 5 minutes.

Occasionally if DD is asleep / we are in a rush I leave her in the car for 2 minutes while I take DS into school - parked on school drive, everyone knows everyone else's cars and would let me know if she had woken up.

I like the 'sound the horn if you are frightened' rule - will try that next time on DS.

I've left DD, sleeping when smaller and awake now that she's 4, while paying for petrol and while popping into the shop for milk. The latter is rare because I only ever do it with our local Co-Op, which is so close that I'd only be driving if I was on the way back from somewhere. I can see her in both circumstances, she is fairly 'sensible', has no history of fiddling with car controls ... and has neither a younger sibling to get upset, or an older one to egg her on into doing something daft.

Also used to leave her sleeping in the car on the drive when she was smaller, for long enough to come in, get a book, check my email, make a cup of tea ... with intermittent peering out of the window to make sure she'd not woken up. Then I'd go and sit in the car with my book and tea (no wifi then, worse luck).

Maybe petrol station if there's no queue and you can see them. Cash machine same.

Having said that, I wouldn't leave mine because they wouldn't stay in the car! I'd turn round to see them legging it across the forecourt, so they are safer coming with me!!

Re them being asleep - You don't know that they'll stay asleep, they may have stayed asleep every time for a year and then one time they'll wake up. Imagine if they woke up and you were nowhere to be found. 5 or 10 minutes is a bloody long time for a child who's woken up, is disorientated and doesn't know where the hell their mum is!

I have seen kids alone in cars, clearly distressed, sobbing and almost screaming. clearly very scared. And I know that their mum will have just popped to the shop while they were asleep, thinking they'd be ok and still be asleep when she got back, because they have been before. It's just not worth it, imo.

They should be fine as long as no one steals your car (with them in it). It has happened....

I leave mine in the car while I pay for diesel. I have left them all together (wouldn't leave DS2 without DS1 for example) to run in the co-op for a paper and milk but won't again as DH not happy.

10 minutes is too long unless you can see the car at all times.

It would be great to be able to do this or that and leave them in the car but the joy of the quick shop is never going to make up for a terrible tradegy happening because I didn't want to take them with me.

I leave mine asleep outside the house but with me sitting inside with door open so I can see them constantly

I also leave them at petrol station though always try and do the fastpay ones

but never out of sight god if the car was stolen....

I never do, but I would consider it at a petrol station, though ds would go mental.
I am often surprised by friends who leave their los asleep in the car while they nip into a shop where they can't see them. If you can see them, it's ok.

I pay at pump and take him in with me if it is ever out of order despite it being a complete ball ache! I wouldn't leave him in the car alone out of sight ever. He is a PFB tho