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Please help to avoid CantSleepWontSleep's 21 month old dd being exiled from toddler group!

128 replies

CantSleepWontSleep · 13/11/2007 17:21

We were 'spoken to' after toddler group today, and told that several people had noticed that dd is quite 'robust' (a diplomatic way of putting it!), and could I keep more of an eye on her at group, as they didn't want her to put people off coming .

She's a boisterous 21 month old, but was an early walker and has good speech for her age, so I wonder if the other mothers think that she is older than she is, and thus expect more discipline.

Today she bopped another child (who herself went through a similar phase a few months ago, when she was already over 2) on the head with a musical shaker thing. It was unprovoked (and didn't look malicious), but I was 2 inches away when it happened, so can't see how 'keeping an eye on her' is going to help.

I think that possibly the other mother expected me to take a similar approach to the one that she had (time out and made to say sorry), and because I didn't (don't feel it is appropriate at this age) she thinks that I am letting dd get away with it (which to an extent I suppose I am, but I did tell her firmly that it was wrong).

I don't think (or certainly hope) that the group leader would have spoken to me if other parents hadn't chipped in with other comments though.

So, the point of my post, is to ask how I should deal with this? What age appropriate action can I take that will pacify the other parents, but not unnecessarily traumatise dd or make toddler group an unenjoyable experience for both of us?

Sorry for length of post - has been annoying/upsetting me all day and wanted to get relevant info down.

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
Flame · 15/11/2007 19:26

I tried Hunker's holding method today when DS was trying to stroke ChocolateTeapot's cat with his foot (giving benefit of the doubt, it didn't look like kicking... and he kept saying "aah" but not stopping when I said no).

He got very annoyed with me, but I told him about stroking gently (the cat, his head, mummy's head etc), then let him loose, and he didn't use his feet again for a good while

Hurrah for the holding tactic!

CantSleepWontSleep · 15/11/2007 22:01

I've used it a couple of times too flame, at home and once at a friend's today (with lots of other children there). She screams and cries and tries to get free, and (as expected) tried to bite me the first time too. I managed to contain her and talk calmly throughout, although how much she could hear over her own screaming I don't know! Time will tell whether it makes a difference I guess.

OP posts:
S1ur · 15/11/2007 22:37

I think the talking calming is as much for you as her anyway

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