Help me to "guide" DS2.10 please...

[mm22bys]

Hi,

I lost it this morning with DS2.10.

Main issue is he helps himself to food in cupboards and fridge.

I tell him not to - take him down from bench and get him the food he wants - this morning it was toast.

Then I had to have a shower and I could hear him help himself to fridge again, this time he wanted yogurt. I told him to wait. Got back in shower and next thing I know DS is crying and there is yogurt all over the floor and walls.

Told him he was naughty and tried to explain that that is why I told him to wait...

In meantime I notice toast is still uneaten so told him to eat it. He threw it on the floor.

That's when I lost it with him...

He then ASKED for cheese, so I got it for him. He threw that on the floor so now he is in his room.

Help please! What am I doing wrong? I probably should not have left him unattended but what else can I do? I asked him to tell me if he was hungry, and I got him what he asked for, and still it all went wrong....

Do you not like the idea of locks ?
At least then you know he can't get the food. Then put him in front of tv with a snack he likes. The bathroom idea not great with toddler and baby imo i tried it baby ended up being hit in face with toy. Too small a space and i was in and out of shower so often i gave up !

margo - oh yes! You wouldn't believe the amount of licking we had to do before the landlord would put one on

sodding typos!

Lily but if you put the baby in the cot and take toddler alone into bathroom

baby safe

toddler safe

Agree Kanga good idea. x post. I think sometimes mm22bys we are just too tired to see straight. Youv'e had some good advice on here hope it goes well. It doesn't last forever

Iklboo - the typos are always the best reads

Think most of mine are freudian

ah you have a baby too?

then he is being naughty and attention seekign

I thikn Kangas advice about having a gate made if it is possible is extremely good - how useful will that be?

does he go to nursery? find him a nursery a couple of mornings a week so you can have some time without him!

I agree preventing the behaviour is the easiest way. If however you really don't want to source a gate of some sort, then analyse it- is it always being done for attention. how do you respond when he does it? Idf you decide it is to get attention. Then ignore it every time it happens. Don't say no, don't say anything, just completely blank it, pretned the behaviour is not there, go off and do something far more interesting in view of him, then when he comes over to join you, praise praise praise and have a really fun 5 minutes.

I have ds (2) in the shower with me and dd(6 months) in her chair watching, it works for us.

I have tried ds in the bathroom when we have a shower but he insists on coming into the shower too but won't stand as he is slightly scared so I end up having a shower holding a slippery 2.4 year old with my arms getting tired. He then screams when I want to get out as he likes it in there but only if I hold him.

He gets up at 5.30am so I'm not getting up before him !! All in all I prefer to shower at night or to smell!

We also have hook and eye locks (high up) on bathroom and kitchen and locks on most cupboards.

I can sympathise on the food thing it drives me CRAZY when ds asks for (or takes from his snack box which he has) food then eats one bite, plays with it then throws it on the floor. 20 mins later he's asking for/taking food again and we have the whole thing again.

Don't know if you have a useful dh/p, but in my house it's a divorceable offence for dh to leave for work in the morning before I've had my shower, put my face on and put my hair up. I started this after dd was born (big brother was 18months at the time) and it's stuck quite nicely, and morphed into daddy getting the kids dressed in the morning and giving them their breakfast as he works late a lot.
Now, when he's away for a few days, I have to get up at a really ungodly hour in order to get dressed before the kids get up . . .

You can't expect him at that age not to do those things by anything you tell him or otherwise. In fact once he knows you don't want him after food that will be his primary task - to get your attention by seeking it out. He knows he's on to a good game now so just withdraw from that battle of wits and physically prevent what he's doing. I always showered after the children went to sleep. We bought locks for loads of cupboards when we had twin 2 year olds so they just could not physically get at most stuff too.

He is certainly not naughty. He sounds very normal and very lovely. Most parents with children that age if they have to have a shower would take the child upstairs with them, lock the bathroom door and with the child in the room have the shower.

Well I think you're all daft personally!

Blimey if you go around asking for advice and then reporting people like that I certainly won't be bothering to ever give you any advice on any subject whatsoever if I see you again on MN. I think it is the only sensible course of action.

Thanks to everyone for your advice....

I know he is not being naughty, and I know that he is after my attention. He asked me to put baby down this afternoon and for a hug.

I went to coffee at a friend's house. All the other mums were having a lovely time feeding their babies and chatting. Me? Running around the house after DS2.10. Never been more envious of first time mums in my life....

Just to clarify matters - it's been assumed that I shower upstairs and leave DS downstairs to run amok.

The bathroom is actually just off the kitchen, so I can hear, and almost see, all that is going on anyway....

I'll have a rethink about what I can do to make DS2.10 safer. I have resorted to putting him in his room to get things done. He is almost toilet trained so is not in nappies during the day. He "retaliates" by sometimes (not often) using his bedroom carpet as a toilet....hence my reluctance to put him up there....

Thanks again for all your advice....

cant he get int he shower wiht you?

god ds3 use to do that

oooh, watch out, you'll get reported!

I hope things get better mm22bys, life sounds tough at the moment

ooops! bad mummy alert!

i just remove anything dangerous from the vicinity and jump in the tub while he gets on with wjatever he is doing, as long as i can hear him and he canget to me i just carry on.

works for me.

This is turning into groundhog day.

I have acknowledged that I overreacted to part (not the actual advice!) of a very early post on this thread and I am not going to try to justify or explain my prior action any further.

He is going through a stage of not liking showers - he only likes baths.

Thanks for the suggestion though....

Please can we move on?

Think this is going to repeat the same pattern as thread last night. She has apologised already !

hmmi used to con mine and have a "shath"

you put hte plug in in a shower

they sitll ask for them

mm22bys
I went through this when my lo was around the same age and it is so infuriating so I can really sympathise with you. Like you say, it's more the safety aspect rather than the fact he's helping himself to food. All I can say is that he will grow out of it, especially if you keep impressing upon him that he shouldn't be doing it. Funnily enough, my son did this when his little sister was newly born, so obviously an attention thing.
PS We locked all our cupboards, fridge etc using the magnet locks, but I couldn't believe it when I kept catching him dragging chairs through from the dining room to the kitchen & climbing up to the higher unlocked cupboards! .
Sorry for long post, just wanted to show support, I'm fairly new to posting too.

I don't think anyone is asking mm22bys to apologise... this is just late posters, surely?