Active discussions

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

Original poster

Help me to "guide" DS2.10 please...

220 replies

mm22bys · 28/03/2007 09:21

Hi,

I lost it this morning with DS2.10.

Main issue is he helps himself to food in cupboards and fridge.

I tell him not to - take him down from bench and get him the food he wants - this morning it was toast.

Then I had to have a shower and I could hear him help himself to fridge again, this time he wanted yogurt. I told him to wait. Got back in shower and next thing I know DS is crying and there is yogurt all over the floor and walls.

Told him he was naughty and tried to explain that that is why I told him to wait...

In meantime I notice toast is still uneaten so told him to eat it. He threw it on the floor.

That's when I lost it with him...

He then ASKED for cheese, so I got it for him. He threw that on the floor so now he is in his room.

Help please! What am I doing wrong? I probably should not have left him unattended but what else can I do? I asked him to tell me if he was hungry, and I got him what he asked for, and still it all went wrong....

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
Set a reminder
Whoooosh · 28/03/2007 12:51

I would take him upstairs with you-surely not all open plan up there?
I take dd into the bathroom with me with books or toys-would not leave her downstairs if she was a climber.

BigEggLittleEgg · 28/03/2007 12:52

There is no way we could fence off our kitchen realistically as our entire downstairs is one room, although i guess we could do a room partition thing. However, we have child locks on every cupboard and will put one on the fridge when DS works out how to open it. Surely if EVERY cupboard has a lock on it, there is nothing to help himself to, and he might not bother trying to climb?

LoveMyGirls · 28/03/2007 12:52

I agree with custy and twig and everyone who said you should put a stair gate up he is 2 and shouldn't be helping himself to food.

Sorry it isn't what you want to hear. I don't think you should have reported them for having an opinion (infact i think it is abusing the report function of this website, what if everyone reported anyone for not agreeing with them, no one would post) she didn't say you were daft for asking for help she said you were daft for allowing your child to continue with his behaviour and tbh in my household if a 2 year old asks for 1 thing that is what he gets if he then doesnt want it and asks for something else he is told no and goes without or eats what he has been given.

Custy has twins and (i think 4? children altogether) so she definately has a clue about most parenting situations as far as i'm aware (custy will ocme and tell me if i'm wrong about any of this i have no doubt)

I think you should apologise.

zippitippitoes · 28/03/2007 12:53

take him in the shower etc with you

don't have anything he can use to climb in the kitchen he will ge the message

prevention is the easiets method

only have stuff within reach that is ok

put abolt on the kitchen door

and if you can't attend to him put him in his room with a stairgate across for safety's sake

otherwise just bite the bullet and the phase won't last long

NotQuiteCockney · 28/03/2007 12:53

Have you tried reporting your DS?

TrinityRhino · 28/03/2007 12:54

NQC PMSL....you are naughty

bozza · 28/03/2007 12:54

MrsApron I had one. He is 6 now though. I think the simple answer is to take him in the bathroom with you plus a couple of toys and lock the door from the inside. Then he is contained and you can keep an eye on him. Also cupboard locks might be useful. We had them but have taken them off despite having a 2.10 yo ourself.

oliveoil · 28/03/2007 12:54

dd1 we didn't have to move any ornaments or plug up sockets. How smug was I, "oh, we carry on as normal, and just tell her no"

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH

dd2 changed all that, otherwise I would be saying no all day and shouting

everything moved or plugged up or blockaded

dh left the (new, expensive) laptop on the table the other day and I walked in and she was about to pour juice in it

I wouldn't have shouted at her, believe me, it would have been someone older and stupid who left it there

nailpolish · 28/03/2007 12:54

olive is right

get used to it

Gess · 28/03/2007 12:55

Have you investigated the roller blind stairgates. 2 of those, one on top of each other.

Enid · 28/03/2007 12:55

you had a shower with a 2 year old left alone downstairs

you are lucky you have any wallpaper left

seriously if you need to have a shower and leave him downstairs (can he not wait in the bathroom with you?) you need to fit a fridge lock and cupboard locks

LoveMyGirls · 28/03/2007 12:55

why not put cupboard locks and fridge locks on? what do you do to keep him away from the cooker?

If your ds is so bright (not for one second saying he is not by the way) i do know a very bright 2 year old, he will understand when you say no and should do as he is told or get reprimanded.

RTKangaMummy · 28/03/2007 12:57

Why can't he come into bathroom with you and lock the door so he is in room with you while you shower

take some plastic toys in there as well so it doesn't mnatter if they get wet

like duplo etc.

juuule · 28/03/2007 12:57

If you can't make the downstairs area safe then take him with you. If you have to go upstairs to have a shower, take him upstairs with you. I've had a bath before now with lo pulling the toilet roll to shreds for amusement (obviously more interesting than the mountain of toys I'd taken to keep them occupied ) and considered it fair trade for a quick bath.
At 2y10 they do climb and are into everything (usually something you would rather they left alone). The only way to deal with it is to be one step ahead. Either exclude with fridge locks, cupboard locks, stairgates, door locks, etc or include - keep them where you can see them and get them occupied with something or "helping" you while you get done whatever needs to be done. And keep talking to them letting them know what's okay and what's not and why.
Eventually they get a bit older and grow out of this phase (grow into the next one but...well that's just having kids, isn't it?)

RTKangaMummy · 28/03/2007 12:59

Or have a shower BEFORE he gets up in the morning

BigEggLittleEgg · 28/03/2007 12:59

Think Zippi had a good idea there, could you not put him in his room with stairgate across doorway if you need to leave him unattended?

I know you said he can open your stairgates, but some are a lot more tricky than others (DH cant even open ours........).

Original poster
mm22bys · 28/03/2007 12:59

THERE IS NO KITCHEN DOOR!!!!!!!!!!

How many times do I have to say this?

Thank you for the suggestion of door locks, we do have them on some doors, guess we will just have to bite the bullet and put them on the fridge and other cupboards.

We have a stairgate to his room anyway but it no longer contains him.

Honestly, I am not so daft that we haven't already thought of stairgates! Just not "daft" enough not to have put locks on every single cupboard?

I don't believe that you all have locks on all your cupboards, or do you?

OP posts:
mytwopenceworth · 28/03/2007 12:59

as he is not even 3, i doubt very much that he would remember that he has been told not to do something. what i mean is, at the time that he decides he wants to get something he will just go for it and the fact you have told him not to on previous occasions is unlikely to occur to him. - it might when you catch him, but it wont form part of his decision making process iyswim.

at his age, all you can do is restrict access, take every opportunity to lay down and reenforce the rules to provide a foundation and wait until he is old enough to take in and remember that he is not supposed to go in the cupboard. in the meantime you may decide to just keep telling him, keep removing him and do something practical like put locks on the cupboards and fridge. and have a reward system for every time he comes to you and asks nicely. and if he throws food on the floor, you might choose to tell him it is wrong to do that, make him pick it up and put it in the bin (hand over hand if necessary)

nailpolish · 28/03/2007 13:00

the shower thing is a bit ofa nightmare i agree

my dh leaves v early for work and after he shuts the door i get up (6ish) have a shower and a cup of tea in PEACE before the dds get up

its the best half hr of the day

nailpolish · 28/03/2007 13:01

some people do have locks on all cupboards, yes

TrinityRhino · 28/03/2007 13:01

quit leaving him alone then, he is 2, take him with you to shower. Now I have thought about it I doubt anyone could completely make the kitchen safe for a clever 2 year old to be left alone in. Just take him with you....problem solved.

zippitippitoes · 28/03/2007 13:01

a two year old is definitely too young to leave while you have a shower or most are

have him in the shower too

didn't notice th open plan bit

that is just something you have to put up with I think

much easier to baby proof the house if he is the curious type than think about trying to keep him out of things

mytwopenceworth · 28/03/2007 13:02

sorry x posts.

but to answer you. actually i do. i have locks on all cupboards, the fridge, freezer etc, on doors and windows, including bathroom door. everything is locked and keys are kept in my and dh pockets.

DimpledThighs · 28/03/2007 13:02

you need a secure place to put him whilst you have to do essential things or give him freedom and allow for the fact that you will get yoghurt rubbed into your new seatee and if that is a risk you are prepared to take.

If you ask for advice and people give advice and you don't like so you report them - well that's daft!

HotXMum · 28/03/2007 13:03

I had one like this, into everything. You just have to change your personal routine to different times or else take him in the bathroom with you and lock the door so he cant get out.

Just keep re-iterating that he cant help himself. Bright, inquisitive boy I think. Btw my ds now (5) still helps himself!