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Original poster

i dont like my 2 year old anymore :(

88 replies

kittylette · 13/02/2007 09:53

im not even gonna change my name as im sick of him and i think everyone in RL is starting to see this is getting to me, so you might as well know too.

he doessnt sleep in his own bed, he gets up at 1am ish into ours ( plus the 8 month old sleeps with us) so i get NO sleep, im constantly worrying about them

but the 2yr old is driving me nutty, all he does is throw stuff, hit me, punch me, spit aty me (WTF has he got that from???) tells us he hates us,

his brother cant be on the floor as he kicks him in the side, pushes him over, punches him in the face

he throws stuff, if he sees the laptop he tries o throw it,

he wont leave plugs, electrics, plugsockets the fire alone,

hes stressing me out so much

im not enjoying this anymore

i even smacked him, just out of complete anger, so ive lost it, comletely lost it

im not happy

this isnt how i wanted it to be wheni had kids

sometimes i feel like walking out, i couldnt, but sometimes i feel damn close.

i dont know where weve gone wrong (aprt from him in our bed) weve done everything 'right' we honestly are good parents,

hes a good boy, and i love him to death, i just dont like him most of the time

ive put him in his bedroom for hitting his brother in the face, i dont want to bring him back down

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
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danceswithnewboots · 13/02/2007 11:42

like the proverbial filing cabinet of ravers...ah ha.
Just be kind. Kitty is obviously having a rough day. All of us come on here for escapism and company, you included I'm sure.

Original poster
kittylette · 13/02/2007 11:51

you know what its fine, i dont want to be here anymore, im in a bad place today, and thats not what i need,

a really bad place, i just feel like

every time i come on here i just seem to feel a little bit worse, about myself, about my life - even though in real8`ity its fine some people always seem to make it worse

and i always seem to feel worse after being on here

and i dont know why i expect anything different

to some people this place is somewhere they can let out their anger, or take the piss out of people without any real reprocussions

but some people genuinly come here for support, like i id

that other thread has got fuck all to do with the issues im having with my son and the depression im falling into

i appreciate all the positive advice given, but i just dont feel happy anymore

i havent read the other thread since my last post and i dont intend to

but to all of them on there who think im a show off and a big head NOTHING could be further from the truth,

ive been overweight for 4 years, being 14 stne at my heaviest, ive hidden away, been on ADs, had councilling over my body issues, ive suffered from a mild bought of bullimia before my kids and battled, and i mean BATTLED with confidence to the point i was almost agoraphobic,

since having my son 8 months ago i have reached a healthy weight, and it is tTHE FIRST time in my life i have been happy with myself, and thats why i suggested what i did, not only as something funny and memorable but as a celebration of what ive come through

perhaps in reality it isnt the best idea but i didnt expect the reaction i got, it was suppost to be funny, a laugh some we could all giggle about

i seem to have something genetically inset in me, people dont like me, i dont 'do' friends

maybe thats why i take this all so seriously, because i dont actully have anyone to talk to in RL,

but this to you is all a joke, just a laugh at my expense, which is fine because thats what the other thread was about, but i expected you all to laugh WITH me not AT me.

my life seems so small at the moment, so small and dark, and it just seems worse today

OP posts:
Original poster
kittylette · 13/02/2007 11:51

you know what its fine, i dont want to be here anymore, im in a bad place today, and thats not what i need,

a really bad place, i just feel like

every time i come on here i just seem to feel a little bit worse, about myself, about my life - even though in real8`ity its fine some people always seem to make it worse

and i always seem to feel worse after being on here

and i dont know why i expect anything different

to some people this place is somewhere they can let out their anger, or take the piss out of people without any real reprocussions

but some people genuinly come here for support, like i id

that other thread has got fuck all to do with the issues im having with my son and the depression im falling into

i appreciate all the positive advice given, but i just dont feel happy anymore

i havent read the other thread since my last post and i dont intend to

but to all of them on there who think im a show off and a big head NOTHING could be further from the truth,

ive been overweight for 4 years, being 14 stne at my heaviest, ive hidden away, been on ADs, had councilling over my body issues, ive suffered from a mild bought of bullimia before my kids and battled, and i mean BATTLED with confidence to the point i was almost agoraphobic,

since having my son 8 months ago i have reached a healthy weight, and it is tTHE FIRST time in my life i have been happy with myself, and thats why i suggested what i did, not only as something funny and memorable but as a celebration of what ive come through

perhaps in reality it isnt the best idea but i didnt expect the reaction i got, it was suppost to be funny, a laugh some we could all giggle about

i seem to have something genetically inset in me, people dont like me, i dont 'do' friends

maybe thats why i take this all so seriously, because i dont actully have anyone to talk to in RL,

but this to you is all a joke, just a laugh at my expense, which is fine because thats what the other thread was about, but i expected you all to laugh WITH me not AT me.

my life seems so small at the moment, so small and dark, and it just seems worse today

OP posts:
danceswithnewboots · 13/02/2007 11:53

Kitty - I have no idea what the other thread is (although obviously intrigued now!) have you seen your dr about the depression?

Mellowma · 13/02/2007 11:53

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KVG · 13/02/2007 11:56

This reply has been deleted

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calebsmummy · 13/02/2007 12:11

I know nothing about the other thread. I just wanted to say that 2 year olds DO need a lot of attention! They can be difficult, but that is because they know what they want, but don't have the skills to tell you exactly what it is.

He is probably feeling a little put out by the arrival of his sibling, hence the playing up and wanting to join you in bed etc, but it's all so normal!!

I have 3 boys, one a teenager (but luckily a nice one!) and 2 boys of 2 and 4. My 2 smaller boys definately need wearing out every day, it means I have more chance of a peaceful evening and night! If we do less in a day, I definately notice the difference.

I'm guessing your son doesn't go to pre-school yet. Does he still have a nap? If he does, then maybe you should stop it. Tis a nightmare for the first couple of weeks around 4 ish, but blimey it pays off! DS3 is just 2 and stopped his nap of his own accord a couple of months ago. He goes to bed around 6.30 - 7 (nicely because he knows he is tired)and wakes around 6.30 to 7 the following morning. Both younger boys occasionally try the old 'I want to come in your bed' thing sometimes, but I don't let them until at least 6 in the morning. YOU need your rest and quiet time and they need to know that!

You will be at the stage I am now in a year or so. Your children will enjoy playing with each other and it will be all so much easier for you.

2 year olds are lots of fun, but you have to make life fun for them, they are too little to do it themselves.

I hope today is better for you.

calebsmummy · 13/02/2007 12:16

Oooh also need to say the bottom stair works well for us too. Give a warning and if he carries on, sit him on the bottom stair for 2 minutes. Don't get cross about it, just explain why and leave it at that. They don't like to miss out on anything!!

Mellowma · 13/02/2007 12:17

Message withdrawn

soph28 · 13/02/2007 12:35

kitty, i know nothing about the other thread either, so please don't think we're all laughing at you or judging you, we're not. How can any of us really know what anyone else here is like in RL?

I have children the same ages as yours and I know some days it can be an endless round of dirty nappies and shouting at 2yo for getting under your feet when it's not their fault. My ds has a naughty cushion in the corner of the living room and we have zero tolerance for hitting/spitting/throwing etc. I would just keep putting him back every time he does something like that- even if it's 20 times in a row- no shouting and no attention when he's on it. Agree with others LOADS of exaggerated praise and cuddles when he is not being bad and maybe offering a treat.

I also find that it works quite well if you include the baby- I pretend that dd (7mths) says to me, 'wow, what a good boy Toby is' or 'Mummy, I love Toby and think he's very good at jumping' etc.

Another thought is that maybe if you put your ds2 in his own bed at night, ds1 won't think he's missing out and will be happier to stay in his own bed? Just a thought though.

Anyway, hope you feel better soon.

nogoes · 13/02/2007 12:51

Kitty, don't take the horrible comments personally we all go through bad times and sometimes the silly threads are a good escape mechanism.

2 year old boys are very trying sometimes (my ds is 2.6) and I don't even have a baby to contend with. As Twiglett has said it sounds like he needs some reassurance and extra love and attention now that the baby has arrived but I know it can be bloody hard when they are behaving like the anti-christ!

I have started planning my days a lot more and doing specific activities with ds, we always do craft work on a Wednesday and cooking on a Friday for example and this seems to have helped a little as he knows he won't get to do these things unless he behaves the rest of the time. It doesn't always work though he still has his horror moments, on Sunday I was not giving him enough attention in Waitrose Cafe and he got up running towards the wine section shouting "I am going to bang crash into all the wine bottles Mummy!" .

Anyway sorry for the very long post I just wanted to reassure you that you are not alone, I feel your pain .

Pitchounette · 13/02/2007 13:24

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Pitchounette · 13/02/2007 13:28

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Tortington · 13/02/2007 13:47

thats perfectly fine.

i dont think i liked my 2 year olds either.

i didn't like them when they were 3

or 4

when they are 5 they are likable.

i think to communicate this more efficiently let me explain. yesterday whilst on a long drive my 17 yo son and i were talking about the difference between liking someone and loving someone.

so, one can love someone by virtue of their postion in the family or their relationship to you - however to like a person is something different al together.

i am a firm advocate of the "wahtever gets you through the day" school of custardo thought which includes a twist.

children must have a firm bedtime. - so whatever gets you through the day - but chuck 'em in bed for 7.30. assuming they piss around for an hour - you have at least 3 hours per evening child free.

yes they are demending, remember that when you get urges in around 12 months. as you will

Thelittlesoldiersmummy · 13/02/2007 14:06

Good luck to you Kittylette I have a 2 year old who I can honestly say i sometimes want to throw out the window I have "leave me a lone its not fair" (I didnt expect that until he was about 13) having been in the same sort of situation as you i completely understand although i managed to put on 6 stone having my DS as bulima completely f*cked up my system i have only lost one stone of this so have a long way to go. I personally went back to work as it was driving me mad and depressed being at home with my DS alday now i find it easier to ignore him when he is throwing his fits and laugh at the things he says which i would not have found funny before. Do you get out in the day - go to baby clubs etc not only will it stimulate your 2 year old but it will also help you too. Here is a hug and some love from me x

J20BABY · 13/02/2007 14:20

oh kitty poor you,

some people just don't know when to be nice

most of the time i don't like anyone! especially not my 6 year old!

it sounds to me that your doing a great job, just having a shitty day, put him in the garden for an hour to tire himself out.

when my dd was 2 i had to get her back in her own bed, it was tiring but after a week of getting up, not talking to her, just putting her back in her own room she soon learnt, see if your health visitor can help.

sending you {{{{{{{{a big hug}}}}}}}} and best wishes.

x x

J20BABY · 13/02/2007 14:27

oh and p.s just looked at your other thread, and i think it'll be cool, i mean, its your wedding, and you can do what you want, maybe on the night do, when the kids have gone.

can i come?

NappiesGalore · 13/02/2007 14:37

positive parenting classes

a book which may help

and another book

HTH

Original poster
kittylette · 13/02/2007 14:45

thanks,

my granny came round cause i phoned her i was such a state, she cam and minded DS1 and i went for a walk with DS2, i feel a bit better i guess

shed tidied the kitchen too, bless her

it kinda made me realise that its people in the real world that count when your down and internet people arent real at all, and this place does just get me down, so im through with it

im not gonna do a dramatic new im leaving post, lol

just to anyone who cared enough to offer me (nice) advice on this thread thankyou, it really did help,

seeyas xxx

OP posts:
J20BABY · 13/02/2007 14:50

oh no, don't leave! i want an invite to the wedding! don't let miserable people get you down, hope you feel better and decide to stay x

NappiesGalore · 13/02/2007 14:52

hadnt read thread before kitty - sorry to hear you are having sucha hard time and feeling so low at the moment. it feeds off itself doesnt it when you are down...nothing seems to go well and then you feel worse...and on...
will you get yoursefl off to the doctor?
ive heard there are people who can pop round and just hang out, have a chat and basically check in on you and how you are... once a week or something while youre having a bit of a low time... dont know what its called.. sure start? something like that. the doc will know. or HV if theyre any good...
if you can afford it, NightNannies may be of use to you... they offer pnd support, or you could have a night nanny take care of both boys overnight once a week for a wee while so you can recharge your batteries a bit. or they can do sleep training for both boys and get an easier routine going for you to handle..

i do think the lack of sleep is a central issue for you here... remember youre not a robot!

NappiesGalore · 13/02/2007 14:54

oh honey - do please do whatever makes you feel better ok? if that means cultivating RL support, thats wonderful. i hope you feel better soon - ive enjoyed chatting to you before

franca70 · 13/02/2007 15:03

It's homestart I think NG
Kitty, I really hope you'll feel better soon (oh, I wish my granny was around!!)

Original poster
kittylette · 13/02/2007 15:08

shes a little star, shes not well herself, but she even did the pots!!

OP posts:
SpeccieSeccie · 13/02/2007 15:09

Kitty, I don't often post on here but I watched with horror at the hideous bullying you were getting on the other thread and I'm really sorry that I didn't say something to back you up while it was going on. (As if all those other posters had some righteous Vera Wang weddings and all the guests thought no day had ever been more perfect, etc, etc). MN at it's most cliquey and spiteful - I thought your idea was quite fun!

Anyway, I'm glad your granny came over and that your feeling a bit better. It is naff to point out but true: good days really do come around. Good luck with whatever you do next and I'll look out for your posts if you come back.
Best wishes x