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Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

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Original poster

What are you supposed to do all day with a baby???

89 replies

VoodooBanana · 25/10/2006 11:52

do you spend all day stimulating them?

or try and do housework between feeds/naps?

I take her out to see friends a few times a week, is thid enough?

I am bf so cant really leave her, I have never expressed, she wont have a dummy/bottle, I am fine and happy but is she experiencing enough of life?

Ive just started to feel I am letting her down somehow??

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

Tutter · 25/10/2006 11:56

how old is she?

teeny ones get stimulation from lots of 'boring' things like lights, moving trees, balloons, faces, voices etc.

if you're out and about a fair bit she'll be fine

DetentionGrrrl · 25/10/2006 11:59

I found that my son (18wks) and i have a nice routine...i do houseworky things when he naps, we go for a walk a few times a week. I try to read him a picture book/play him music every day too. You can't possibly spend all day stimulating a baby- when will they learn to have quiet time, or enjoy their own company? You're not wonderwoman!

Original poster

VoodooBanana · 25/10/2006 12:00

she is 4mths

she also doesnt seem to sleep in the day so I spend a lot of time jigging her about

OP posts:

Tutter · 25/10/2006 12:01

at that age i think i used to rely a lot on ds's baby gym and (ahem) baby einstein when i was all jiggled out

Original poster

VoodooBanana · 25/10/2006 12:01

grrl, do you put him in his cot for a lunchtime nap? I might try thst today..

OP posts:

Sunnysideup · 25/10/2006 12:02

She is getting all she needs from you and from being with you.

I found with my ds for the first few months, there actually wasn't THAT much 'spare' time iykwim; he was feeding, or napping! He did have his wakeful 'play' time and I spent that time playing with him.

However I think it is a REALLY good idea, if he will lay happily on his own looking at a mobile or toy or whatever, to let him get on with it and get on with your jobs or reading a mag or something! Not all his wakeful time obviously; but I basically saved all my jobs and housework for when DS was napping, which worked ok but meant that DS did always expect me to be there with him, playing; he was quite bad at amusing himself as a toddler really, maybe this was down to me always being around to play and him not being used to me popping off to put washing on or whatever.....

I think it sounds as if you and your DD have a lovely routine going...

Tutter · 25/10/2006 12:02

(but repeat what i said about being out and about - easier in the summer i know, but great for both of you - long walks, visits to friends etc)

Original poster

VoodooBanana · 25/10/2006 12:02

tutter...yeah, she likes her gym. But cries when I leave the room...

OP posts:

Sunnysideup · 25/10/2006 12:03

her, her, sorry I wrote half of that post about 'he' and I know you have a dd - brain never been the same since having a child

lulumama · 25/10/2006 12:03

remember...the things we think are boring. or are looking at through older eyes are fascinating to a baby....just as Tutter says...

you are not letting her down...you don;t need to try to stimulate her...just getting on with every day stuff and taking her with you is enough....if she gets over stimulated she'll let you know!

make sure you get some rest too....

DetentionGrrrl · 25/10/2006 12:04

No, he usually sleeps in his bouncer chair- but he's so active now he threw himself out of it earlier...chair is now in the bin!

Original poster

VoodooBanana · 25/10/2006 12:05

I walk at least 20-30 mins a day with her

she loves the pram.
when do you join a playgroup type thing?

OP posts:

Original poster

VoodooBanana · 25/10/2006 12:06

she is yelling now, have to go and feed

thanks for your thoughts so far

OP posts:

lulumama · 25/10/2006 12:07

i took DD at 10 weeks....we help run it now!!! at that age, it was for my benefit , not hers! made some great friends...!

do things when you feel ready...relax & enjoy this special time, do what you & her feel comfortable with,sounds like you are doing all the good stuff anyway!

Tutter · 25/10/2006 12:08

will get easier in a few months

think i started takoing ds to music classes and the like at about 7 or 8mo

alibobble · 25/10/2006 12:53

dd is 4 months and also cries whenever I'm out of the room even for a sec. Is v wearing. Am trying to build up her tolerance of not being "actively" played with for short periods of time and instead being under her baby gym or in a chair with a toy. Is HARD work when they need you 24 7. I think is partly my fault that i've not got her used to being able to sit for a while herself. However have discovered that baby bouncer is a gift from heaven as she will sit in it for 15 mins or so and giggle and bounce so I can do some washing up or cleaning. I can't save jobs for when dd is asleep or I'd have to do them at night! And her nap at lunch is when I want to get some lunch and a recharge for next round! Have found mums and tots good tho chaotic and nice to get out. Although dd is young for the group, she is just facinated by watching the other children. Plus I get to meet people which is great.

MaloryTowersPonceAndProud · 25/10/2006 12:56

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

isntbeingamummyyummy · 25/10/2006 13:03

With my DS as soon as DH went back to work I started trying to get in routine. In mornings we go for a walk and afternoons is spent either out visiting, shopping or people coming to us. This way he falls asleep in morning in pram and in the afternoon in car seat. In the evenings we sit down and play with him for about an hour until bathtime. He is 7 months now and I don't stick to this routine as much now as he is happier playing on his own.
He never sleeps in his cot during the day as he just cries and cries. If we are at home I rock him to sleep on my legs. At nights he sleeps no problem in his cot 12hrs straight! Only ever really naps during the day for about 20-30 mins and done this since he was about 6 weeks.

Original poster

VoodooBanana · 25/10/2006 14:25

alibobble and yummymummy glad its not just me!

the visits and everything are fun, its just the in between!! sheis too heavy for her backpack thing or I would just chuck her in that.

she also wakes up if a pin drops! everyone told me nothing could disturb a baby sleeping! Lies!!

OP posts:

MrsFish · 25/10/2006 19:50

My ds is a very light sleeper too. They tell you not to tiptoe around when they are sleeping, but I have to, otherwise he would be awake all the time

riab · 25/10/2006 19:55

trees were my lifesaver!
much harder at this time of year but lying him on a rug too look up at trees kept him amused for a good 10-15 minutes.
Baby gym
walks in park to look at ducks etc (in backpack)

I knwo you said she is too heavy - have you tried a different carrier? I still carry my 24lb toddler in a sling but there's no way I could do it in the baby carrier we had when he was small.
At 4 months she should be okay in a nicely supportive back style wrap carrier (make sure it cradles her head)

marymillington · 25/10/2006 20:09

go for lovely long walks in parks
go out for lunch
go to the cinema (some do special baby screenings)
baby signing classes
some baby groups if you can be arsed - for you to socialise
sit about at home listening to music

its lovely.

CorpseBride · 25/10/2006 21:05

Mine quite liked baby gyms by this age. I walked a lot with them in slings/pushchair. My youngest loved shiny helium balloons and could watch one for ages!

They also enjoyed watching me make dinner. Clean. Drive. Wash my hair. Etc. As long as there's plenty of chat while you're doing it.

I met several mums from my postnatal group each week but I never joined Little Dippers, Music Club, etc. They are none the worse for it.

tigertum · 25/10/2006 21:49

Have you found out about local baby groups?That way your baby can get some stimulation and see some other babies and you can have a chat and some time out of the house.

You sound like a great mum to me. Just loving your baby, making her feel loved & comforted, fed, clean and a bit of stimulation from playing with you/playing in a baby gym/exploring new objects. You are giving her everything she needs by the sound of it.

I used to worry about the same thing, whenever I took DS out he would fall asleep and miss everything!

Maybe you coulod get one of those forward facing carriers for when she's a bit older. That's an ideal way for her to see the world. But honestly, just feeling fed, clean warm and loved with colours and shapes to look at around her is all she needs.

tigertum · 25/10/2006 21:51

Second Riab on trees too. I used to take DS to see the trees in the park and he loved looking at them! Simple things.

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