What are you supposed to do all day with a baby???

[VoodooBanana]

do you spend all day stimulating them?

or try and do housework between feeds/naps?

I take her out to see friends a few times a week, is thid enough?

I am bf so cant really leave her, I have never expressed, she wont have a dummy/bottle, I am fine and happy but is she experiencing enough of life?

Ive just started to feel I am letting her down somehow??

That's one of the best questions I've seen on MN - exactly what do you do with a baby??

Sit in front of the tv and watch crappy daytime tv and then wonder where the last 3 months of your maternity leave has gone I'd say!

Isn't it BORING

I tried to get to mother and toddler groups every morning - or a friend's house - then count the hours of the afternoon until DH came back.

REALLY dull

Having two is MUCH more fun

I don't know why anyone thinks it is "lovely"

I found this phase deadly boring

I really DO enjoy having two - especially now that the baby is 1 and they can play together really nicely for AGES - I love the constant talking and jabbering from the bother of them

SO much easier than awful baby jiggling 12 hours a day

that should be "both of them"

"bother of them" - how Freudian

loving these answers!!

the parks are a meaty walk away from my house, still building up to going quite that far; but actually I will go further tomorrow.

Going for lunch is hard as we are broke with me taking 1yr off on leave!!!

Also, the local fab place to walk round is National trust and a stinking £4 a pop to get in!!! That has to be a special treat.

We have a tree in our garden, actually, maybe I could use that a bit more if I wrap her up really warm..

I am so lazy have never bothered doing any groups, I will ask HV for some next week.

gosh people I feel quite inspired...THANKYOU!

I just pottered about with dd2 and dd3 with the telly OFF and the radio ON (less intrusive and programmes like trisha make me want to curl up and die). Voodoobabana - sounds like what you are doing is pretty normal. Everyday sounds and sights offer huge stimulus to a new baby. Don't think you are letting her down at all!

Like moaningpaper, I often found it fairly dull with dd1 partly due to finding it hard to deal with being the one left at home while dh went off to work long hours. Culture shock: job with workmates and pub at lunch times one day - home alone with needy baby in a city where I hardly knew a soul the next.

Mother and baby groups help. With dd2 abd dd3 we were living in a village so would go for a walk in the fresh air everyday - doesn't sound like much, but boy what an achievement it can be just getting it together after a feed.

It doesn't last forever - they do change over the months.

Baby massage group?

And ask somebody for national trust membership for christmas!

I have very fond memories of the months before they can move around spending hours and hours over a singe coffee in starbucks with other new mums. The babies get to see other faces and you get to make new friends. Impossible with number 2, sadly.

And join the NCT if you're short of people to see - they might have meet-ups nearby.

Gosh voodoobanana, I think you're doing fine. DD was not a sleepy baby but she seemed to get along OK just watching what DS1 was doing.
DS1 slept a lot in the day. But I agree, a walk round the block/to the shops with the pram for a bit of air and change of scene once a day is all you need.
Otherwise, do housework in nap time if you want to, or just relax for a bit. Why not?
Agree with others it's not a bad thing to leave the baby if they are happy (babygym, looking at the washer etc) and get on with stuff.
Toddler groups are great for you - DD will just sit in a bouncy chair and be fascinated by the action while you chat to some other new mums. DS2 went from being a dot (as I had older ones) and was fine.

Agree with others re trees - DS1 was fascinated as we pushed his pram under them. (this was summer tho - it is harder in the winter but good for you getting out every day).

You really don;t have to spend any time entertaining your dd. at this age she is getting tons of quality time with you because of all the feeding. and as previous posters have said entertainment will come in the form of all sorts of things that happen without you eg shadows, light, objects in the room, voices etc. Also, inbetween feeds don't feel you have to spend every moment with her - leave her just having a kick about on her mat (mine loved this especially without their nappies on)whilst you have a cup of tea.

It sounds to me like you are doing a great job. You are certainly not letting her down in any shape or form and its great that you are both getting out for a walk every day.

Your last post just reminded me of something i used to do with ds1. he really used to like being outdoors when he was newish born (3/4 mths) but it was Jan/Feb then and very cold. I used to wrap him up jumper/snowsuit/fifty blankets etc and take him for a walk in the pram. He would promptly fall asleep so i would hurry home, wheel ds into the garden and then sit in the conservatory with a steaming mug of tea watching him - not wanting to leave him but definately not wanting to risk waking him. The worst thing was people were always commenting on his lovely (frostbitten) complexion .

Babies get loads of stimulation from everyday things. My ds1 (8 weeks) loves sitting on my knee looking at the computer while I surf the internet - he is particularly fascinated by the pictures. And guess what - his granddad discovered this at only 2 weeks!!! My ds1 also likes to sit propped up on the sofa with me whilst I eat breakfast/lunch etc. He loves playing on his activity mat but sometimes he just needs a change of scenery. I find he also loves walking round the house, so we do a 'tour' most days as he just loves looking around.

I echo the thoughts of everyone saying try the baby groups - they may not be big enough to join in and play but my ds1 loves just looking around this new environment and they do a sing along session which he gets to listen to. So this provides lots of stimulation that's different from home. I too spend hours in my local coffee shops with one coffee and other mums. The coffee shops don't seem to mind as we are regulars and they are quiet during the week.

Another thing to try is stroking your baby with different materials as this all provides stimulation, i.e towels, cotton, wool, fleece - again it all provides stimulation.

And finally keep talking, talking, talking! Even if you are only talking about what you are washing up it all provides stimulation.

Enjoy your little one and this special time, it sounds like you are providing her with lots of love and attention which is exactly what she needs most.

Bad mother alert:
I used to put DD on the floor beside me on a blanket with a baby gym over her while I was on Mumsnet I'd look down at her every so often and chat ....
Couldn't have done that with DS - he needed more company ....

pretends son isn't on playmat as we speak

Like Josie's little one, dd loves sitting on my knee watching the computer screen, especially if I'm doing something that involves changing pages frequently. I put her in her carrycot or in her chair while I do housework and give her a running commentary or sing, and when I do yoga she goes on a mat on the floor, and chortles like mad at her mum doing silly things. Same when I'm drying my hair, putting on makeup, etc - I sit on the floor with her next to me. We both walk the dog a couple of times a day - if you don't have a dog, you could still go for walks.

I too found the first nine months or so really hard. I didn't know what to do with DS really.

We have a TinyLove gym that he really liked apart from the vibrating elephant that terrified him. Also I found Manhattan Toys mobile (all black, white and red) that he liked to lie under in his cot for at least twenty minutes. That was a total blessing because I could have a shower!

I used to sing Head, Shoulders, Knees and Toes to him a lot with exxagerate dance movements. I used to hold him and dance around the room al ot to Earth Wind and Fire and Black Eyed Peas. He still jiggles about when he hears that music now. Poor kid. He's not going to be cool, is he thanks to me!

Also, reading baby board books to him was good because they were short stories and he could grab at them or at first just stare at all the pictures. I read at least three of those to him every day. We still read now but he tears up a lot of books.

I found having friends with babies the most useful way to spend our time. I was lucky with a great NCT group and five of my other friends got pg at the same time so we were always visiting someone with a baby!

From six months, we started trying out different classes like Monkey Music, Tumble Tots, Sing and Sign. The only one we really liked and still go to at 18 months is Sing and Sign.

Also from six months, I took him to soft play centres. They usually have small baby areas and he loved the baby ball pools and all the soft shapes they have there. Plus other kids have always fascinated him.

I think chat is the most important thing you. As well as cuddles and lots of love. But telling your baby what you're doing like brushing your hair, weighing bananas at the supermarket, wiping his bottom etc is all very interesting to him/her.

Your baby just wants to be with and near to you, I reckon. Don't get the guilts about not being super active and animated all the time. You need to rest too! Stuff the housework!

I try to rotate all the contraptions for my 5 month old dd - baby gym in the morning, bouncy chair in the afternoon and bouncer just before bedtime. I normally go out once in the morning and once in the afternoon. Sometimes it's a 2 hour walk in the park, sometimes a 5-minute trip to the post office. I take her in a sling and she usually falls asleep. If I don't get to do any chores - tough. However, I have to keep up to date with washing because she uses cotton nappies, so if she's kicking off, I just put her in a sling and talk to her about what I'm doing - it takes twice as long, but at least it gets done.

Baby yoga/massage/swimming classes - my local sure start do all these things for a pound a time

Don't know if I can post about another mums website but netmums.co.uk have local listings of groups and things you could try.

DS is a bit older now so it's a bit more difficult, but before he could crawl his way into trouble:
lying happily on play mat
watching dogs (always supervised!)
And outside I'd stick him in the pram so he could:
watch me feed pigs and cattle
watch piglets playing around (he LOVED that, and still does!)
Aside from that, like EmmyLou, if I had to leave him in bouncer/cot etc whilst I did some chores, I'd leave Radio 4 on so at least he'd get some other voices than mine.
Bit more difficult now he's actively crawling and trying to walk..... he's the one now trying to torment the dogs!

Hi Guys - I posted a similair thread about this on 24/10, entitled "Entertaining 4 month old" - I got some really positive comments back which made me feel better. Might be of some use

With dd (high need), I spent all day "stimulating" her.

Second time round, with ds, he is now on my lap staring at whatever, whilst I type on mn. If he can be put down to amuse himself, great - I'm off to do housework/chores. Our days are spent in meaningful silence (with telly in background) until dd comes home from nursery whereupon I am shouting at her over ds' head.

Is there hope for ds?

Taking their nappies off and letting them wriggle and kick (with a terry nappy underneath) and "feel the breeze between the knees" is a good one. Also wrapping up warm and putting them in the pram in the garden to look at trees, birds etc. Plus you can jiggle the pram a bit to get them off to sleep if they are overtired. The fresh air seems to knock them out. DD used to sleep much longer outside wrapped up all cosy on a cold February day!!!

I find placing a mirror next to my DD at this age - 3 months is fascinating for her. She kicks on the mat and stares at herself and chats away to her new found 'friend'while I get on with the housework! (Maybe I should spend more time looking in the mirror aswell!!)

i find that between;
preparing for breakfast,
feeding breakfast,
cleaning up after breakfast,
preparing lunch,
feeding lunch,
cleaning up after lunch,
prparing dinner,
feeding dinner,
cleaning up after dinner,
preparing for bedtime,
doing the bedtime routine
(not to mention the rigmarole of daytime naps, nightime wakings etc )

theres not a lot of 'in between' time left!

i would say you are just suffering from the universal guilt that is motherhood... dont sweat it, im sure you are doing a splendid job

I think with DS I started swim classes (Aquatots)at 7mths. They say you can start at 4 mths but I felt that a lot of the younger babies didnt seem to enjoy it as much ss he did. I plan to do again with DD at about same age. I did music group at about 6 mths but am not convinced that wasnt too early

My DD and I go to Mother and Baby group once a week and spend alot of time with both sets of grandparents. We have been swimming but it's hard work going on your own, trying to get me, baby and her float into the pool is v difficult.
Have been using the E.A.S.Y routine which means I get time to myself and DD tends not to get cranky. She likes to nap (2 hrs in the morning then 2hrs in the pm) and she sleeps all night. Find I'm still tired though!

you don't have to join a baby swimming class, although they are great fun and a good way to meet people, you can just take your baby swimming yourself. Find somewhere that has a warm pool and just have fun with your baby in the water. For a 4 month old usually 10-20 minutes is enough and it can seem like a lot of effort for such a short time in the pool but you will find it's worth it- it will stimulate your baby, occupy a whole morning or afternoon (by the time you've organised everything, got to the pool, got changed etc.), you're baby should become confident in the water if you go regularly, and it usually knackers them so they sleep very well afterwards!

I always too my ds in the shower afterwards too- it warms them up and they learn to like showers which a lot of kids don't.