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Original poster

FUNNY THINGS THAT KIDS SAY.......(or is it just my kids...?)

370 replies

Nikki74 · 08/09/2006 11:11

Hi All,
I'm really new to mumsnet - I've got 3 children and have only just stumbled across it - I've obviously been missing out!!
Anyway, I just thought I would share this with you :- yesterday my 7 yr old daughter came home from school and told me that they had to draw a picture of Henry ville. 'Henry Ville??' I asked - 'I've never heard of him'. 'Well' she said, 'He's a very famous person in history'. I thought for a moment and suddenly it clicked 'Do you mean Henry VIII?'
It turned out to be Henry VIII after all, but she'd obviously read the roman numerals as 'vill' - bless her! It was so funny!

Also, a my eldest daughter (who was 3 at the time) was playing on our front lawn with next doors 3yr old son whilst I was pruning the rosebush (ok....yanking out a few weeds). There was a bit of a heated discussion going on which basically consisted of my daughter saying 'I DO' and next doors son shouting back 'NO YOU DON'T'. After a few minutes my daughter stomped over to me and said 'Mummy, Dean says that girls don't have willies, but they do cos I've got a red pair' - Needless to say - she was referring to her new, shiny WELLIES!!!!

Anyone elses children come out with any amusing little jems?

Bye for now,
Nikki
x

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
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Y1 · 03/11/2006 05:41

Miss 2 was pulling on her middle finger with a huge frown on her face. When i asked what are you doing. Miss 2 replied. Mummy, finger stuck. She had just figured out that no fingers don't come off.

jomorgan · 03/11/2006 23:01

I was working at a school in Reception and this boy was showing his friends his plastic toy. He was going on and on about how they must be careful not to drop it because it was made of china. I said well its not made of china is it, whats it look like its made from? And he goes 'yeh it is cos look..' and pointed at the sign on it saying 'Made in China'

2nervesleft · 03/11/2006 23:08

Visiting the park this week DD(5) was bored and started to make a robot out of bits of twigs and grass etc. Proudly showing me her creation and going through all the features - these are his trentrickles and this is a laser bean. PMSL

carol3 · 04/11/2006 01:13

My mum told me one my dd said to her when she was 5 ish.
"Nana I was going for a wee, and then I had a poo as well, thats a bogoff isn't it!"
(buy one get one free)

ejt1764 · 04/11/2006 10:20

The man in a red coat who come to our house to bring the presents is called 'Farmer Christmas' by ds (4) - apparently he drives a tractor the rest of the year!
ejt

NutterlyUts · 04/11/2006 11:14

Two from when I was little...

My dad took me to the local shopping centre on his own for the first time when I was about two. After about an hour or so, I threw the mother of all tantrums and insisted, top of my lungs, that I wanted my daddy. Well my dad tried to comfort me, but I just screamed louder that I wanted my daddy. Cue security wandering over to see what the fuss was about. My dad was frantically trying to insist he WAS my daddy, and I was just as frantically insisting he wasn't "I want my daddy, Your NOT my daddy". In the end my mum had to be called to identify both her husband and child Strangely.. my dad has never let me live that down!

Another incident, aged about 5.

We had some Jehovas Witnesses at the door and they had engaged my mum in conversation that she didn't really seem to be able to end. So my dad "helpfully" sent me out to the front garden with a message for my mum, which I relayed "Mummy, your iron is on fire". So far, so good.. My mum began to excuse herself and all was fine, til I piped up "Not really.. Daddy made me say it to get rid of these nasty people"

poppiesinaline · 04/11/2006 11:15

It was a very breezy day and I was struggling pushing DD in the pram up a hill against the wind with DS1 on the buggy board. I stopped to catch my breath and glanced down at DS1 (who was 3 at the time). He looked very I said, "Ahhh, honey, are you ok?" "no mummy, I dont like the wind" . I replied "The wind is ok. It spins windmills and flies kites. The wind can be lots of fun". To which he replied "No mummy, I dont like the wind because it gives DD a tummy ache. You say 'DD is crying because she has wind' "

Raggydoll · 04/11/2006 11:44

ds was being very amusing the other day so I said to him "you're a character you are..." - ds smiled all sheepishly and said "i know" - he then said something else quite funny and I said "ooh ds1 what are you like eh" and he said "a carrott mom"

pmsl

dizzymeg · 04/11/2006 20:42

My DSS1, (now 17 and in the army) one christmas, was putting out mince pie etc for Father Christmas next to the fire, my DH told him that he would come down the chimney when DSS said disdainfully "but daddy, we don't have a chimney"... How had my DH not noticed !!!!
DSS2, now also a teenager, used to struggle saying his "S"'s. His favourite football team became Manchester Sh*tty !!!! Quite logical with today's display !!!!
My cousin once piped up in Next changing rooms, "mummy, why are you wearing daddy's underpants ?"
Luckily my DD is not yet old enough to make embarrasing comments, but I'm sure she'll find some belters - can't wait

MammyM · 04/11/2006 23:25

We've been listening to 'firework pumps' all night (bonfire night) also he announced he was going to touch the fireworks, no, I said fireworks are dangerous and might burn you, 'Ok' he says 'I'll just touch the works'! Bless.

ellanatal · 05/11/2006 13:54

i had an internal scan when i was pregnant with my ds1 and had to take dd who was 2 1/2 with me to the hospital. in the middle of it she asked " mummy, why is that lady looking up your pom pom?"(no idea why she calls her front bottom that!!!). that was funny enough but then when i went to get her from nursery the next day she'd told the nursery staff that the lady had been looking up mummys pom pom - i had some proper explaining to do!

greedyguzzler · 21/11/2006 19:20

i love all of these they are great!
my ds (3.4) told me the other day that he wants to be a mummy when he grows up. i told him he couldnt be a mummy cos he is a boy and he could be a daddy. he said "oh mummy, why did you have to give me a boys name?" as if me giving him a boys name turned him into a boy!
he also said the other day that he wanted us to have more babies "so he could see daddy put the seed in mummys tummy and then he could watch me get fatter and fatter and fatter until i went pop and the baby came out!" i dont think he QUITE understands yet!

wrinklytum · 21/11/2006 19:31

DS hasn't quite got the hang of telling the time.Yesterday I was muttering to myself "I wonder what time it is?".ds overhears and says "I'll look,mummy".He trots off,glances at the clock and then announces "Its half past o'clock,Mummy"

mummymic · 21/11/2006 19:57

i took my ds1 (now 18) out for a pub lunch - he was about 4 - he needed the loo so off he went - a few mninutes after he came back to the table a gentleman walked past - at the top of his voice my ds1 told me 'that man went for a poo in the toilets!'
my niece (now 4.5) couldnt say her f's when she was 2 - she sat next to her mummy one day and pointed to her bottom and said 'thats my back' she then pointed to her twinkle and said 'thats my cunt!'
my sister and i thought it was so funny that we would ask her whether we were sat in the back room or the front room! my niece also told my dogs to get in their 'cooking bed!'

MammyM · 21/11/2006 20:11

so cute wrinkletum! I've just remembered one, when I was last pg (5months ago) my dd1 (aged 4) used to ask 'is the baby going to crack out today?' cringe cringe!.....

ps. thanks for resurecting this thread!

MammyM · 21/11/2006 20:11

so cute wrinkletum! I've just remembered one, when I was last pg (5months ago) my dd1 (aged 4) used to ask 'is the baby going to crack out today?' cringe cringe!.....

ps. thanks for resurecting this thread!

jessicaandrebeccasmummy · 21/11/2006 20:13

we go out for the day, i pop to the toilet whilst DH waits with the girls outside, Jessica (2.3yrs) announces a million times over "mum mum weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee"

ernest · 22/11/2006 03:31

I have 3 boys (7,5 & just turned 3) We live in Switzerland. The elder 2 seem to delight in thinking up and shouting out rude words (bum, willy etc)

I was shopping last week with youngest, who despite personality looks angelic with big blue eyes, blond hair ect. I'm at the till and the very nice lady starts cooing over ds in german saying what a good boy he is for mummy etc. Luckily she didn't understand english, cos he peers up at her and says "You're a bum hole" Many times. I was totally mortified, but like I said, she clearly couldn't understand him, thank God. I just smiled sweetly (at her) and felt very glad I wasn't in a UK supermarket.

sockmonkey · 22/11/2006 17:08

DS1 "when I grow little I can wear nappies and sleep in a cot like baby"
He also told me to turn my music off "Mummy it's annoying me" - they grow up so fast!

podglet · 22/11/2006 18:12

DS is only 3 weeks old so cannot contribute himself but when I was approx 34 weeks pg, I was in Sainsburys and a v small child (approx 3yrs) looked at me and shouted "look granny, a balloon!" Granny replied "I can't see a balloon darling, where?" to which the small child pointed at me and said "there granny" oh, how the rest of Sainsburys laughed.

aliceband · 22/11/2006 18:16

Whem my ds was about 2, we were walking and i said don't walk on the flower beds, "are they sleeping?" he said.

my dd, bit older saw a fat man in the shops, "he's got a small head"...

aliceband · 22/11/2006 18:21

my dd3, aged 6, was telling her daddy how she saw a man in the shop like him, wrinkly..

2ndtime · 22/11/2006 20:59

DD3 (6) and her little friend were talking. DDs friend said he had a tatoo on his buttocks(??).
DD informed him in her most authoritarian tone,"I think you'll find you mean, you have a tatoo on your breasts. That's the propper word for bottom isn't it mummy." LOL

bababoo · 22/11/2006 21:42

DP when he was about 3 or 4:
His mum:"Give auntie X (elderly relative) a kiss goodbye then"
DP(at top of his voice): "I'm not kissing her, she's got a beard!"

My brother has come out with some classics:

During an argument with my little sister, comes storming out to parents and says "Mum, dad, tell her to stop, she's making empty threats at me!"

Also told my mum that if she bought a CD she should get it in platinum!

And my little sister singing "Drumming on the old man Joe" (strumming on the old banjo)

Can't wait for DS (8months) to start!

Fattymumma · 22/11/2006 21:52

DS (6) lost his first tooth the other day. i put two 50p's under his pillow form the tooth fairy.

he woke up and was all excited and it was really cute. i ask him what does he want to buy with his money and he said

"nothing"
"nothing? why not"
"i don't want to spend it, i have to look after it because its special money"

"aww thats nice. but you don't have to save it as you will have more teeth come out soon and the tooth fairy will come again."

"no its special money"

"oh ok then"

" and its OK, i can spend your money because thats just money, its not special"

i was in stiches.