FUNNY THINGS THAT KIDS SAY.......(or is it just my kids...?)

[Nikki74]

Hi All,
I'm really new to mumsnet - I've got 3 children and have only just stumbled across it - I've obviously been missing out!!
Anyway, I just thought I would share this with you :- yesterday my 7 yr old daughter came home from school and told me that they had to draw a picture of Henry ville. 'Henry Ville??' I asked - 'I've never heard of him'. 'Well' she said, 'He's a very famous person in history'. I thought for a moment and suddenly it clicked 'Do you mean Henry VIII?'
It turned out to be Henry VIII after all, but she'd obviously read the roman numerals as 'vill' - bless her! It was so funny!

Also, a my eldest daughter (who was 3 at the time) was playing on our front lawn with next doors 3yr old son whilst I was pruning the rosebush (ok....yanking out a few weeds). There was a bit of a heated discussion going on which basically consisted of my daughter saying 'I DO' and next doors son shouting back 'NO YOU DON'T'. After a few minutes my daughter stomped over to me and said 'Mummy, Dean says that girls don't have willies, but they do cos I've got a red pair' - Needless to say - she was referring to her new, shiny WELLIES!!!!

Anyone elses children come out with any amusing little jems?

Bye for now,
Nikki
x

my ds1 was in the bath and was so excited when he looked at his hands and exclaimed " look i've got nanny pat hands" His hands had gone all wrinkly like his great grandmothers skin!! I never dared tell her that he said that, i dont think she would of found it amusing though even though both my mum and i did!!!

Oh, and when DD1 was 2 a friend of a friend (a very butch lesbian) called round to deliver something. When I opened the door she announced in her loudest voice, "Ohh, look a ladyman!"

ds2(6) Came home from school the other day having had PE "Mum I couldn't find my trousers and I've had to borrow some" me "but they look like yours" Ds taking off trousers and pointing to the label "No mum they belong to Marcus Spencer, see it says here!"

one from the archives.... my gran had some people over in the evening when mum and her sister were supposed to be in bed asleep. my gran asked the guests if anyone would like a slice of sponge cake and a little voice, far off on the landing, drifted down: 'I'll have a bitta punge'

we also refer to bananas as 'Yi-Yi' in my house since this was the word my brother insisted on using from the moment he could talk - and concomitantly 'yiyi moon' is a crescent moon

When ds4 was about 6, he and ds3 had been in the local shop while I stood outside talking to my friend... All of a sudden ds4 comes running over to me, holding his belly shouting "Ohhhh my pirates" My friend and myself look at him bemused.... "What on earth are you talking about, what pirates?" I asked him.. "you know, my pirate's ... he's (ds3) just kicked me in my pirate parts"
Also, another that springs to mind is I am 13 years older than my brother and my parents has a terrible job getting him to eat ... anyway we were away on holiday and were in the dining room of the hotel and there sat my 3 year old bruv with my dad trying to feed him, to no avail.. In desperation my dad said to him "Look at all those lights (harbour lights) they are fairies and they're watching you be a good boy and eat your dinner" Not amused he looked round at the harbour lights, looked at my dad and shouted at the top of his voice "F**K THE FAIRIES"

sitting here bf crabby, snotty baby laughing out loud. Reminded of when dd was born, older sister said that she loved new sister, but would like an older brother next time. i said there wouldn't be a next time. she would always be the oldest, to which she replied 'it's always me, I always have to be the big girl'. She's nearly five, we're always telling her to be a big girl, maybe were putting to much pressure on her.

my sil is trying for a baby. Out of the blue last night ds1 asked "Is aunty S having a baby yet?" Before thinking, I answered, "No, sweetheart, she's stille trying". Immediately he pounced. "Trying, what do you mean, trying? How do you try for a baby? What do you have to do " etc etc etc.

In background, ds2 pipes up "Is it like this?" and makes furious straining noises.

I don't want to know what goes on in his head tbh

we were at a meeting at school today, only I am daft enough to take ds (3)the only child there, he continues to talk loudly to me about nothing and interupts everyone, I tried to get him to sit on my knee quietly, when he says 'no mammy, I've got a sore bottom, I haven't wiped, (getting louder) you wipe it, wipe my bottom'!

when i bought my ds his first action man, t he first thing he did was undress it,he was very upset ... "where's his willy"

ernest, PMSL!!!!!! straining!!!!!

yesterday we had a delivery (some very heavy car bits for dh)

i took dd to the door,and the nice young lad there stood smiling at dd.

dd looked at him and said "look mammy,a ginger man" (he had very bright ginger hair) i nearly died!!

(before anyone says anything,i was this ginger when i was little,and still have a ginger tinge!!just dont want to get tomatoes thrown at me for saying something about ginger haired people!!!)

my DD (4) has a xmas teddy that sings "frosty the snowman" but to her since birth it's been "Golly the Old Man". Bizarre.

Picked up DS (2.11) from nursery yesterday evening. He doesn't like the fact that the days are so short atm, and as we walked out into the car park, he looked up at the night sky, and shouted up at it 'DON'T BE DARK'.

DS1 says "Oh, no, foot stuck in Mummy's hand" and looks mournful...when I'm changing his nappy.

when my ds2 was little,he couldnt say 'foot' properly,instead it came out as "f*ck".and he hated shoes,always threw them off.

took him to get some new shoes,which he wasnt happy about.we saw the local vicar on the way out of the shop and i stood chatting to her.ds was getting very impatient in his buggy,trying to pull his shoes off when he shouted "f*ck off mammy!!!" whilst holding his shoe in the air!!

Every morning dd 2.10 come and tells me to get out of daddy's bed as its a bit morning.

She also can't wait for "pather Pistmas" to bring her BIG presents.

Message withdrawn

ds (2yo) announced yesterday morning that he couldn't get his coat on as his eyes were broken.

Being broken is an excuse for everything at the moment. You can't change his nappy cos its 'broken'

dd1: 'I want another Cottage'
Me: blank look
dd1 'I want another Cottage'
Me: What do you want? a cottage??
dd1 ' Another Cottage!!' finger pointing at an empty plate
ME: Oh you mean a croissant

DD1 (3.5yr) looking forward to meeting... Farmer Christmas

DNephew1 (age 3ish) with my sister at the doctor's waiting room, very loudly "mummy what has that man got on his mouth?"
Sister ignores him (inwardly imagining all kinds of cold sores, birthmarks, rashes etc) and carries on reading 1999 OK magazine.

Dn1 insistent now "But Mummy - what has that man got on his mouth?"
Sister then aware of whole waiting room looking so she looks up - it's a moustache. Relief all round

similar to jackieno - last winter 2yo dd when i picked her up from childminder 'mummy, switch the dark off!'

dd1 is quite sure that baby Jesus was born in a 'carton' shed. And won't hear otherwise!

DS had a bit of a temperature last Friday night and DH remarked to me (in front of him) that when he got him out of the bath that he was shivery.

The next morning, when DS got up, he said "I'm not sugary anymore, Mummy. I was sugary in bed last night wasn;t I?"

ilovecaboose - that reminds me, the other day when we were on the way to pick up DD from school my DS (also 2) pointed to a bird who hopped across the road (rather than fly off)when we walked past and said "That birds broken"