FUNNY THINGS THAT KIDS SAY.......(or is it just my kids...?)

[Nikki74]

Hi All,
I'm really new to mumsnet - I've got 3 children and have only just stumbled across it - I've obviously been missing out!!
Anyway, I just thought I would share this with you :- yesterday my 7 yr old daughter came home from school and told me that they had to draw a picture of Henry ville. 'Henry Ville??' I asked - 'I've never heard of him'. 'Well' she said, 'He's a very famous person in history'. I thought for a moment and suddenly it clicked 'Do you mean Henry VIII?'
It turned out to be Henry VIII after all, but she'd obviously read the roman numerals as 'vill' - bless her! It was so funny!

Also, a my eldest daughter (who was 3 at the time) was playing on our front lawn with next doors 3yr old son whilst I was pruning the rosebush (ok....yanking out a few weeds). There was a bit of a heated discussion going on which basically consisted of my daughter saying 'I DO' and next doors son shouting back 'NO YOU DON'T'. After a few minutes my daughter stomped over to me and said 'Mummy, Dean says that girls don't have willies, but they do cos I've got a red pair' - Needless to say - she was referring to her new, shiny WELLIES!!!!

Anyone elses children come out with any amusing little jems?

Bye for now,
Nikki
x

Yesterday I was trying to get DS ready to go out, chivvying him on to stop playing or we'd be late. He sighed and said to my "mummy you have to be patient"!!

When dd1 was little she liked "mice-cream".

One from me (when I was little). My dad used to leave athletics magazines lying around. I looked at the pictures mostly, but I was attracted by something called "indoor meets". They would talk about "his indoor best" or "she's jumped 6 metres indoors this season", etc. And I thought how lucky they were to have mums who would let them do things like that indoors. Mine threw a fit if db and I only broke the springs on the sofa doing "jet landings".

(I'm sure I didn't really think people did running and jumping and throwing inside people's houses. I just liked to think so)

A couple of weeks ago I was chatting with DS (7) about what he would like to dress up as for Halloween - he said I want to be a 'Mummy', DD (3) pipes up I want to be a 'Daddy' - ahh bless!

DD calls the computer 'puter', and apparently I have 'fluff' on my bottom! - (Not on my bottom - I hasten to add - she means my 'Twinkle') and she does not like the 'fluff'!

Here's one from me when I was little too........

My Dad had gone into the corner shop on the way home and told me to wait in the car.....I decided to run in after him (I was about 6 or 7 I think) and saw him stood at the counter trying to ask the pakistani man in a quiet voice for some DUREX! Hardly speaking english the shop owner didn't understand and my Dad kept asking DUREX? , DUREX? so I ran home to my Mum and shouted "Mum, Mum, Dad's in the shop asking for JULIETS"

We've never forgot it and we still all call them juliets haha

DTs desperate to tell me about playgroup, both talking at the same time, before I could say it myself, DT2 says to DT1 'one at a time sophie, one at a time please' (they're 2!)

my dh put dr who on telly and my 4 yr old ds said 'look there's the garlic' (darlek). we wet ourselves for ages

my dh put dr who on telly and my 4 yr old ds said 'look there's the garlic' (darlek). we wet ourselves for ages

In our house, we put dalek in the spag bol!

my 7 yo son tells a joke about that - what's Dr Who's favorite dinner? Dalek bread!

The same son congratulated his little brother on his good swimming lesson tonight, 'you did really good 'vest' stroke'!

DS1 told DH yesterday very solemnly that DS2 shouldn't have the "puppy stone" as it was "too dangerous". He was talking about the pumice stone in the bath

my dd (6) last week when out shopping for daddys birthday present. In a very load voice when paying for a jumper
"but mum I thought you were getting him handcuffs for his birthday" !

Everyone in the shop thought this was hillarious, It wasn't till half an hour later I realised she ment cufflinks ! I resisted the urge to run back to the shop to tell everyone

Ds to his grandma yesterday

"Grandma,why are those bottles on your step?"
Grandma "They are for the milkman to take away, then he brings some more milk"
Ds "Does he bring a cow?"

Also

Grandma to Ds

"Come on,....,use your fork,you are a big boy now"

Ds to grandma "I'm not,grandma,I'm a medium boy"

After a long hot summer DS, 2.9, was wearing long trousers for the first time in months: "I want my knees back!"

Last year when my ds was only just 4 I stopped bf'ing my daughter (who was 2).
When my dd had been of the breast for about a week he asked me:
'mama, does E. still drink milk from your breasts?'
Me: 'No, the milks all gone now'.
DS: 'Oh, so she drinks juice from your breasts now then?'
Ah what a laugh.
Almost every day they say things that make me smile or laugh really. But this one just stuck out!

My little boy who often asks for 'cubumber' in his sandwiches has a cute phrase when he's tired of walking ' Mammy, my legs are bored' I know what he means.....

ds (nearly 3) came out with 'My brain's not working' the other day after a rogh and tumble game with his dad.

Also, he particularly hates feeling the wind in his hair and gets very worked up, shouting, 'No wind, stop it. STOP IT wind!'.

We were getting rid of a small fish tank and wondered if dh's dd from first marriage might like it, so we spoke to 1st wife who agreed it was ok. We asked dsd "Would you like to have some fish?" Her face lit up and she replied "and chips!"

DS1 likes to come and have a "squoze" - a squeeze & a cuddle.

On a windy day my 3 year old said "careful mummy, you don't want to wind away".

Also we made a 'punkin' for halloween and lit a candle inside it. I put it outside the back door to be safe and he was trying to blow it out through the glass in case "the punkins face got burnded"!

Oh yes, and trumps are now called poo burps - lovely!!

my mum has recently split up with my step-dad and has a new boyfriend. my 4 yo cousins were round the other day and said "aunty wendy, have you got 2 mans now?"

a few weeks later they were in my mums room with her and go who sleeps there (pointing at one side of the bed). my mum replies "me" then pointing at the other side of the bed asked who slept there to which my mum replied pete (new bf) confused little boy says so where does uncle dave sleep?in the middle!! oh the visions - let's say uncle dave was not too happy when he heard that one!!

another one was when my 3 month old son was crying and one of them said to me -"holly your making him angry!!" i was then told by their mum that when they are naughty she says to them your goin to make me angry in a minute!!

kids ay who'd av em!!

I elected to have a home delivery with DS2 and to this day DS1 who was 2.5yrs at the time keeps asking why I was sick all over the baby. However, the most hilarious/embarassing ever came from my DH's (George)little cousin Zak who was 6 at the time. We were childless then and staying with my husbands family in Canada and we're babysitting Zak and his little sister while their parents went out for the evening, anyway at bedtime they kept escaping from the bathroom whilst we were trying to get them ready. They looked so cute that my husband grabbed his camera took some pictures promising to email them on our return to England. Well upon their parents return the first thing out of Zak's mouth was, 'Mommy, mommy George has been taking pictures of me in my underwear and is gonna put them on the internet.' You can imagine the terrible silence that followed.

Just remembered another funny one, my mate's son when he was very little asked, 'Mom is it warm in the cats bum?'
Her, 'I don't know.'
Him, 'Is it mom, is it mom, is it warm in the cats bum?'
Her, 'Honey, I really don't know.'
Him, 'It is!'

I was buying a wine box recently and DD2 said
'get a different one mummy that one has lost it's straw'
Sniggers from shoppers behind me.
Me 'they don't have straws honey, you pour it into a glass.'
DD 'but you told daddy you didn't need a glass, you just want a straw!'

Must have been a bad day!

one from my sister...
'mummy, flies not nice'
'no, flies are not nice'
'mummy, flies not taste nice.'

PMSL at 'pooburps'