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Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

Original poster

I just want to kill him today

784 replies

Fifyfomum · 28/03/2014 07:45

I am so annoyed with my son, he is 3.8 and has shown absolutely no sign of 'wanting to potty train' which EVERYBODY told me would 'happen naturally' when he turned three.

He is now sat on the potty, he has been there for around an hour and it looks like he will be there for an hour more. Every time he stands up he cries because he is busting for the loo and I sit him back down again but he refuses REFUSES to wee on the potty.

I need to potty train him before school it is getting RIDICULOUS and when I talk to him now he is putting on this 'baby' voice and sticking his tongue out around his teeth so he can't talk properly and I am SO ANGRY with him.

Why WHY won't he just use the potty? All his friends at nursery use the potty, he knows what to do because we have been going through this ridiculous process day after day trying to get him to bloody urinate out of a nappy.

ARRRRRGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHH

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Original poster
Fifyfomum · 31/03/2014 19:01

He won't use the potty!

And thanks to all those who don't think that a grown woman should use the words wee and poo to talk about puss and shit. Unless you're suggesting that three year olds trawl Mumsnet looking for swear words it is a bit irrelevant!

crispy thanks, the mention of the words 'potty' and 'training' have led to lots of people sharing stories with me about training their kids! One of those rites of passage things I suppose.

OP posts:
Original poster
Fifyfomum · 31/03/2014 19:02

Puss in shit? I mean piss and shit thank you autocorrect!

OP posts:
LynetteScavo · 31/03/2014 19:07

TBH, I have only skim read the thread.

OP you are the angriest poster ever! Grin

You have been given shit advice in the past. [fact]

As I haven't read every post on this thread, I'm not sure if it's already been said, but here's my adivce;

When you decide this is it; now more daytime nappy's'

  1. Mean it. No nappies in the day. Pull up at nights only. (Don't feck around with pull ups in the day!- if you go on a long car journey put a piddle pad or what ever they are called on the seat and take a change of clothes) DO NOT GO BACK TO NAPPIES!
  1. Pull-ups at night are fine. (Being dry at night is a completely different issue)
  1. Take a week off work and stay at home/don't go far. Tell your DS he needs to use the toilet from now on. Provide a seat (preferably change the toilet seat so it has an integral child's seat) If he wets/soils himself don't react, apart from sitting him on the toilet.
  1. Praise when he does what you want. Ignore when he doesn't. (I never bothered with sweet treats myself, just verbal praise). Some kids like start charts, some kids don't. You know your DS best...reward which ever way you think best.
  1. He isn't starting Reception for another 6 months. That's ages away. And then, if he does soil himself at schjool, the TA will change him, just like she will change the other children who soil themselves. Smile Reception is Early Years. Your DS will not go into Y1 soiling himself.
Kudzugirl · 31/03/2014 19:08

Nothing passive aggressive about my comment at all. I don't think you seem to understand what PA means.

I have read the thread. That is how it appears and you don't need to be Eric Berne to come to that conclusion.; plenty of others are commenting upon the drama too.

FustJantastic · 31/03/2014 19:10

I'm glad he is making process Smile but jeeeez, not sure why people are so concerned about a parent venting their frustration on an anonymous internet forum?!

My children can be little shits and often annoy the hell out of me... I can say that on here because, hey ho, my children don't see it and have no idea that they drive me to the brink several times a day, ever single bloody day!

And the people whinging about OP talking about piss and shit.... get a fucking grip! Perhaps you would be more suited to a site like NMs hands the hand wringers a grip AND some fairy dust Wink

Keep going OP, my eldest son toilet trained during the day fairly early on but wasn't dry at night til he was nearly 7, I can relate to a lot of the feelings you've expressed on this thread!

LynetteScavo · 31/03/2014 19:18

MN initially gained popularity because it was a place parents like the OP could vent.

She can't hardly march into toddler group and declare loudly she wants to kill her 3yo without people judging. Grin

It seems you can't even vent anonymously here anymore.

BeverleyMoss · 31/03/2014 19:21

Oh yeah, nothing at all distasteful about

PISS IN THE RIGHT PLACE RATHER THAN DEMANDING AND OVERSIZED FUCKING NAPPY TO PISS AND SHIT IN

And

Three times a day he can leave the room and sit on the fucking potty until he pisses on it.

And

he obviously needs to piss and has to sit down again, when I TALK to him he puts on a fucking baby voice

And

he can piss and shit on the potty or he can piss and shit on the floor and help to clean it up.

Etc, etc, not to mention what's been deleted.

Truly disgusting, and I'm not easily shocked.

atthestrokeoftwelve · 31/03/2014 19:22

Anxiety and heated feelings can impact on potty training. Children can easily sense if an adult is becoming frustrated. Perhaps if you try to relax a little more potty traing will be easier.

fanjoforthemammaries7850 · 31/03/2014 19:22

Venting is one thing

Totally blaming a child for being late to use toilet is another.

Mintyy · 31/03/2014 19:25

Venting is one thing.

Raging for a whole day is something else altogether.

YouStayClassySanDiego · 31/03/2014 19:28

Fust why would those of us who think OP's anger and quite frankly disgusting way of describing her 3.8 year old ds fuck off to nmums.

By the way, handing out grips is so fucking annoying, so please keep it for yourself.

Smile hth.

LynetteScavo · 31/03/2014 19:33

I thought the OP was blaming everybody else for poor advice, not the child.

Oakmaiden · 31/03/2014 20:38

And I thought she was blaming herself for having followed the "just leave it" advice until it has suddenly become urgent and isn't "just happening".

Just goes to show how different people can read different things into the same posts...

Original poster
Fifyfomum · 31/03/2014 20:56

I am definitely blaming myself.

I wish I'd potty training him earlier and not listened to the 'oh it'll be fine if you just wait' advice that everyone had told me.

We have had one shit next to the potty today and no piss on the couch, which I consider to be a huge, huge improvement. As for my day? Well the car has just died, completely stopped working won't even turn over... Joy

OP posts:
LynetteScavo · 31/03/2014 20:58

The car is giving you a sign that you need to stay at home this week and crack the potty training. Wink

Original poster
Fifyfomum · 31/03/2014 21:06

I should never have uttered the words 'this day couldn't get any worse'

The car is definitely mocking me.

OP posts:
MrsPHollywood · 31/03/2014 21:09

Shock at this thread.

Just when you think you have seen it all.......

theressomethingaboutmarie · 31/03/2014 21:20

My DD (now a dry 6 year old!), was in nappies day and night until she was 3.5. I recall how tough and frustrating it was to train her (and how we'd tried). It was further complicated with faecal impaction and we were forever changing her, hands smelling of poo after cleaning her up no matter how many times we washed them (or how well), forever buying yet more pants when out and about as she'd used every pair we took with us.

It WILL get better. You just really need to chill a bit and know that whilst now is hard, it won't always be this way. Good luck!

Original poster
Fifyfomum · 31/03/2014 21:27

The car is fucked, we've only had it 1.5 months and the starter motor has gone and possible fucked the rest of the engine up with it.

I am beside myself. I don't know what to do, I signed a warranty that said we were only covered up to £200

OP posts:
saintlyjimjams · 31/03/2014 21:47

Why would the starter motor mess up the rest of the engine? Just replace the starter

Original poster
Fifyfomum · 31/03/2014 22:06

Something about it getting too hot and melting the electrics? I don't really know, that is what the RAC man said.

I am going to phone the garage I bought it from in the morning and ask them to recover and repair it.

OP posts:
Mintymoomoo · 31/03/2014 22:46

WOW I'm actually lost for words! I'd be to bloody scared to use the potty!

siblingrevelry · 31/03/2014 22:50

We had issues with training our eldest (think he was around 3 when we first tried, which was a disaster). He would happily sit for hours on his Thomas the tank potty, reading/watching telly etc, then would promptly get up and wee on the floor.

We ditched the potty and went to toilet with insert seat, and he got it relatively quickly. Didn't then bother with potty for the other two.

In the end we think we made such a big deal of his shiny new 'Thomas potty' that he viewed it like a chair or another toy, so why would he want to crap on it?!

It also meant that wherever we were he could use the loo, and we didn't have to cart a potty around. Equally, we didn't have to scrape poo off a potty or have wee/poo in the living room, and neither did we have to train him away from the potty to the toilet.

siblingrevelry · 31/03/2014 22:53

As part of using the loo, we literally plonked him on every half/hour for the first day or so, to get him comfortable with using the toilet and so we would have some 'success' to celebrate from the beginning,

Original poster
Fifyfomum · 31/03/2014 22:57

We have a Thomas potty too! Though if he craps on the front one more time the sticker may need replacing with something else.

OP posts: