Searching OMG, what a clever little boy your 5yo sounds! That's so amazing that he was able to express his feelings like that. I'm not even sure I could do it with such clarity! Like you said though, heavy stuff, and really does make you think.
Well, thankfully I had a better day yesterday. (Maybe my very short lie-in helped) but I was definitely more patient with the boys and the hubby. I'm sure my pregnancy hormones and general 3rd trimester fatigue has a lot to do with it too. But something occurred to me on the way to work this morning - I am definitely more "shouty" when hubby has had a huge blow out with the kids. I remember a couple of instances in recent months where hubby's tolerance of them has been unrealistically low, and to prevent HIM losing it, I try and be more of a disciplinarian and end up being the one who loses it.
DS2 has a bit of an obsession with lawnmowers and has had for about a year. He has two toy ones of his own, and one comes with its own little petrol can. Yesterday, he was happily pretending to cut the grass and hubby made a sarcastic comment about petrol cans. I reminded him that he was 3yo and that he would have poured the contents out no matter what the can had contained. Hubby suggested that the smell should have alerted him to the fact it was dangerous and therefore shouldn't be touched. 
Oh come on! Seriously?! Does he REALLY believe that? The poor boy is barely 3! As if he has any clue as to all to the dangers in this scary world. My hubby's expectations of our boys are way, way off the scale. He really compares them to teenagers. :(
It's so weird because although hubby is less tolerant of their age-appropriate behaviour, the boys (well, definitely DS1) would choose daddy as their favourite. But it's me that they behave better for. Hubby can ask them to do things over and over and they wont listen to a word. With me, they're alot better. Not perfect (whose kids are?!) but better. For example, due to DH's job, there are often times when he doesn't come home until after the boys' bedtime (parents evenings, etc) and I always find that mealtimes, bathtimes and bedtimes are SO much easier without him. Yes, I have to do everything with no help, but there are never any power struggles. Both boys just happily get their teeth brushed, go to bed, don't ask for more and more stories. They just snuggle down and are asleep within minutes. When DH is home, the whole routine can drag on for 30 minutes longer. I don't really know how they are for hubby when I'm not around as that is VERY rare. I don't think he's ever had to put them to bed by himself. But the boys definitely seem to play up more when we're both around.
The 6 week holiday starts next week so I'm going to draw up a plan of something to do EVERY day. Come rain or shine, I'll make sure that all 4 of us stick to the plan, but hopefully, having something to look forward to each day will focus our energy and attention and prevent boredom setting in. Any ideas (particularly free ones) greatly appreciated!
I've read the first 3 chapters of "10 days to a less defiant child". So far, it's been brilliant (so much so that my pink highlighter pen ran out!). One of the things it suggests to prevent yelling is to keep a diary and every day write in something that happened that day that made you want to shout, and whether you did or not. It then suggests that the day or week after, read what you wrote and reflect on whether the incident really was worthy of losing your temper and yelling. The idea is, hopefully, you'll see that most things aren't worthy of yelling which should, over time, re-train your brain into not yelling when the incidents actually occur. I'm also going to write in an example every day of when my children were angels, to remind myself that they're not defiant all of the time, probably not even half the time.
Have a great day everyone xx
p.s. Bertie whereabouts in Germany do you live? Hubby often talks about moving there as he loves Germany. I've only ever been to Munich which I thought was simply stunning.