Sick of my greedy daughter

[Orangeanddemons]

Dd is 7. She has always been greedy, but she is just intolerable now. We don't have any crap or junk in the house, as she was unmanageable around it.

She has eaten a large roast dinner 2 hours ago followed by yoghurt. She is now mithering and screaming that she is hungry. We try to ignore, but eventually you have to take a stand. She is like this every single day. Obsessed with food, nagging for food all the time.

I have had endless conversations about mouth versus tummy hunger, but it makes no difference. Nothing does. She just wants to eat all the time. I have tried to bring her up with a healthy attitude to food, but she is just obsessed with eating, so I have to restrict her.

We have 3 ds's too. None of them are like this. I am at my wits end

A carrot or apple will not provide the calories missing from a diet low in protein and full fat.

Can you get her assessed for prada willi just to rule it out and take it from there?

She may just be railing against the restrictions though.

Make more dinner, and let her have as much as she wants to eat. Let her portion herself, but control what percentage she puts on, ie not 90% dry pasta.

Don't be surprised, if she is tall, if she wants to eat adult portions.

In between meals, allow lean protein or fruit or raw vegetables

I have also explained to my dd that I am responsible for her body and for helping her to make good choices until she is an adult and then she can eat what she likes, which of course means she says she is going to eat cake all day when she is grown up, but hopefully by then she will make good choices. It is a good way to stop the conversation getting really negative. I also think different people's 'full' mechanisms behave differently and she could genuinely feel like eating even if others feel full.

I do find that letting kids serve themselves is a great way for them to have some control over their portion sizes.

Annuvva, I didnt know that, that sounds like me. I have to stop eating when I feel food reaching my stomach. And I used to beg for food as a child even after eating loads.

I think some of you are ring a bit harsh. Have you NEVER had a child whine at you allllllllll day. It's exhausting and frustrating and yes you do get to the point where you are just sick of it. Only in this case the op has the added worry of not wanting to over feed her dd and make her overweight and unhealthy. I would have the same worry!

There are aone good suggestions on this thread. Upping fat and protein to help the dd feel full. But I do think theirs either a medical problem or a behavioural problem that needs dealing with here. And just because you all have kids that eat for England doesn't mean that for her dd this is actually normal or she's wrong to be worried.

Op what is your own relationship with food like?

Also yes of course she is unlike any child you have ever known or raised. She is herself and she is unique and with that comes unique challenges and also unique rewards. I can't help but feel you don't really like her very much from the way you write and I do get you're frustrated but I don't feel much concern coming through in your posts for your daughter, more just complaints that she's a bit of a hassle to you.

I think the OP would have got an easier ride if she hadn't said she was sick of her greedy daughter.

yes, you might well have 'normal' eaters. Or eaters who accept what portion sizes, foods you offer.

But then again you might well have a child who needs different foods to function properly.

I just think this has not come out of nowhere, and there must be more of a back story, or else the OP would not be 'sick' of her 'greedy' daughter. and the 'greedy' daughter would not be using food as a battleground/substitute for something else etc...

Or else she has a particular condition, which means berating her for it is even worse. I am surprised it has gone this far, tbh. I would have taken ds down the doctors the moment it started, or I noticed he needed more food than I thought appropriate.

well said careless.

One of the symptoms of a worm infestation is that you are often hungry, that might be worth checking.

I have a friend with a DS like this. The child is clearly overweight. I have been around them enough to find it a bit unnerving eating in front of them, they sit and watch every mouthful.

The parents know food intake is an issue but I also think they have weird attitude. They allow her to have unhealthy choices - repeatedly. The child has an unhealthy 'greediness' for pop, chocs, crisps.

Kids nagging about anything is annoying so I get that about the OP's child.

GP
Healthy options -'yeah help yourself to fruit yoghut..'
Up protein

www.ellynsatterinstitute.org/

OP - although this is an American site, this is the link of the author that wrote the book I found helpful -

As I said in my post is it the constant feeling of preparing food and then clearing up that gets you down?

As I have said, I took my DS to the GP and are now being referred for bloods as the GP witnessed his sugar low behaviour and the school had also stated how hungry he gets - we will be checking for under active thyroid and other endocrine issues.

I do understand the feeling of feeling like you are constantly feeding children.

I think GP is next step and up the Low Gi foods and higher fat foods - have no limit to portions at meal times and offer regular snacks and drinks in between.

I think it is unfair to say se doesnt like her DD very much based on one aspect of her parenting of that child.

I cant stand aspects of my sons behaviour but that doesnt mean I love him any less. My love and care of him is not conditional. I accept him for who he is...even the bits that get right in my bloody nerves.

a lot of fruit yoghurt is very high in sugar, which can make cravings worse. try her on the higher protein ones like total.

I don't think op meant anything nasty in the wording of her post, she's worried and frustrated.

I don't want to sound critical as this is obviously distressing, but do you find you have a different attitude to food and hunger with a DD as opposed to a DS? A son has a "healthy appetite" and is "a growing boy" but for our dds we project our own issues with food / weight and become more tense and anxious. My DD (11) eats more than my DS (13) and I have to be very careful as she is getting chubby but I have to make sure that I do not project my own concerns with food onto her and make her anxious and therefore eat more for comfort.

I think you probably need help from the GP / Health Visitor and a Dietician. More protein will help, however.

Is she over weight? If not then maybe she needs it.

My DGD would eat three times that, she is 3 years old and tiny. She has been to GOSH for every test going and there is nothing wrong with her, they said we are all different.

Orangeanddemons I have a 10yo dd who uses food as a battle ground, and will eat "junk" food until she makes herself sick, mainly at parties where she will eat as much as she can. This has come from her having a milk allergy as a baby until she was 5, so her diet was restricted, especially in terms of choc, etc. She will eat regualr food, but in a "normal" amount, it is just junk that she will obsess over. Needless to say, we don't keep it in the house, but at this time of year we have had to ration her selecion box sweets, and lock them away. We try and give it as little attention as possible, but it absolutely a control, emotional food issue. Is there anything in your dd past that may have triggered the same?

Some people are just food obsessed or greedy as my parents would of said. My grandmother is one as a child she would steal food, eat peoples leftovers off their plate etc as an adult she has always been obsessed with food to her own admission, it's the first thing she thinks of when she wakes up and it's the last thing on her mind at bedtime. She's always talked about food constantly, the highlight of her week is food shopping, if we have a family party she's always in the kitchen eating food before the meal is served. If it's buffet style she parks herself right at the table and doesn't move picking at all the food. She is continually planning her next meal, if anyone else has food she can't rest until she's tried it, she even eats the sugar cubes out of the pot on the table when we go for a coffee. She's still going strong at 83 years old and had six kids. I love her dearly but she's always been very greedy!

There is an illness called prader willi syndrome symptoms include: a constant desire to eat food, which seems driven by a permanent feeling of hunger and can easily lead to dangerous weight gain, restricted growth, leading to short stature, reduced muscle tone, learning difficulties, lack of secondary sexual development, behavioural problems, such as temper tantrums or stubbornness.

If after 3 children the OP thinks her DD has a problem with food, why not just take her to the doctors?

Ds1 (4)has had:
Bacon sandwich, porridge, milk, apple (over about two hours, up and down to table)
Spag bol (cereal bowl size), yogurt, pear
Grapes and a few Christmas chocolates
2 large beef fajitas and veggies, half a banana
Cookies and milk

He is constantly hungry but very very slim and goes through periods of eating very very little followed by periods of eating like a trucker. He moves CONSTANTLY.

Any chance that the lack of routine during the holidays/boredom has lead to her using food to break up the day?

How are her bowels? My DS suffers with constipation and can mistake being bunged up with hunger. He also has suspected ASD and sometimes mistakes hunger for needing oral stimulation. Then there's ad breaks on the TV where he thinks he's hungry because he has nothing else to do!

I allow him access to fruit and veg. Cucumber, watermelon and celery are great because they are water based so up his fluids which help with bowels, make him feel full but leave room for meals etc. he also eats a good meal at mealtimes. I tend to do half of it veg, then split the rest between protein and carbs.

Is your DD generally very demanding? Or is it just with food? Can she be distracted by playing a board game or something? What I've found works for my DS is having a main meal, then board game at the table and then telling him he can have yoghurt and fruit. There's also a curfew on eating so he knows after 7pm that's it.

Also she may be using much more energy up just because she has a mind that is generally always on the go. Even just a child who is an over thinker can burn more calories.

There's also the idea of using a snack box. So everyone has the same number in there a day - a mixture of sweet and healthy. Once it's gone it's gone. Maybe giving her more control over her eating will stop her using it as a way to control?

But I also agree her diet doesn't sound particularly large!