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Trying cry it out tonight..how do I handle night waking

225 replies

PreemieBlessing · 06/12/2013 15:52

So I'm at my wits end. 7mo cut his two molk teeth and now he doesn't seem that fussy with teething so I want to try cio method. He can't settle himself without my help and he wakes almost every hour at night and only wants 1-2 oz milk. He has two feeds as he can't settle at 2am and 5am without milk.

I tried pick up put down but it wasn't effective. I can count on one hand how many nights he's slept through!

I will try cio with no comforting at bed time but how do I handle night wakings after that? I don't want to make it harsh on him..thought I'd tackle those wakings once he manages to put himself to sleep at the beginning of the night.

Has anyone used cio and how did you handle night waking?

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
roweeena · 12/12/2013 10:05

Grrr these women who keep on bloody posting about ''harming the baby' - the baby won't be bloody harmed from one hours crying! Keep it in bloody perspective folks. Ok so you wouldn't do it, you have made that clear - whoopy do. But others do and have and have not harmed/ abused their babies.

We know your opinions, you have made it quite clear, now wind your necks in, get off your high horses and go and respond to you babies needs and stop bullying people on mumsnet. !

curlew · 12/12/2013 10:16

You know something? If the "you do whatever you think best" brigade had stopped adding "I agree with you, hun" posts about 24 hours ago, this thread would have quietly vanished. The OP had decided to do things differently, one poster who felt she had gone a bit too far had apologised- all was sorted.

roweeena · 12/12/2013 11:04

Ffs

ActionA · 12/12/2013 14:20

This reply has been deleted

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msmiggins · 12/12/2013 14:53

Listen to yourself ActionA- who is over the top now?

I find it bizarre in the extreme that anyone would want to leave a baby to cry. That doesn't make me feel better- in fact it makes me feel sad that someone thinks that's OK.
That doesn't make me a bully that makes me a person voicing my opinion- a little less abusively than you are doing.

ActionA · 12/12/2013 15:00

Sorry, but if I were to write out all the comments you've made that are about YOU and what a very sensitive soul you are, it would fill a thread on it's own. I get it that somebody who genuinely feels strongly about this might want to help the OP try a different approach, but the self centred "heart break" rather suggests that isn't what your comments are really for.

ActionA · 12/12/2013 15:09

*"My three year old at the time would sob her heart out listening to that baby's cries. She would ask me why his mother wasn't responding- whet kind of parent could ignore his cries. I didn't have an answer.

My babies didn't cry because they didn't need to. Crying is a last resort.

When my baby cries every fibre of my body tells me to comfort and cuddle, to soothe and ease distress. So that's what I do.

Leaving my baby for 5 minutes crying is 5 minutes too long for me.

But deliberately leaving my baby to cry is not something I would ever be prepared to do , HV or No HV- I would tell her where to stick her suggestion.

Someone has to speak up for all those poor babies crying and being ignored. That's not being insensitive. Their own mothers are even ignoring their cries- no-one is listening to their pleas for comfort.
That's why I speak out for those infants.

I was tandem breastfeeding, a new baby feeding hourly through the night and an older baby too. I also cared for my disabled mother and worked 30 hours a week- we all have stresses.
I co slept to protect our sleep- not everyone's cup of tea but far more preferable to allowing my children to cry.

I look back to those days nurturing and comforting my babies in the moonlight- one of the most special memories I have and it feels so right to have done things this way.
Not that I had any real choice- when my babies cried I comforted them- wild horses wouldn't have stopped me from responding to their cries
to me it would feel very alien and quite wrong to leave a baby to cry deliberately- for any length of time.

It breaks my heart to think of babies being deliberately ignored like this."*

Come on. This melodramatic ME-ME-ME stuff isn't about helping anybody. It's about presenting yourself as super maternal and better than other mothers who might not feel/behave in exactly the same way as you. As I say, grim.

msmiggins · 12/12/2013 15:09

What are my comments really for then Action?- you seem to know me so well.

ActionA · 12/12/2013 15:10

I've just told you what I think they're for, but to repeat: It's about presenting yourself as super maternal and better than other mothers who might not feel/behave in exactly the same way as you. As I say, grim.

msmiggins · 12/12/2013 15:13

My view is as valid as any.

I do think leaving a baby to cry is an insensitive and disrepectful thing to do to a baby - this isn't about me- this is about the idea that it's OK to leave a baby is distress.

ActionA · 12/12/2013 15:17

Nobody said your view that the OP was wrong to do this with her baby isn't valid. My point is that you haven't calmly explained why you think her approach is wrong. Instead you've posted repetitive hyperbole that IS all about you. Do you want to revise your statement that "it isn't all about me" in the light of the long list of melodramatic quotes from just some of your posts above that are, errr, all about you and your tremendous maternal instinct?

msmiggins · 12/12/2013 15:21

I don't have to explain my views towards you - and am particularly disinclined to when challenged in such a hostile manner.
Maybe you have issue you need to work through Action- I really don't care.

ActionA · 12/12/2013 15:23

Haha riiiight. Am thinking the person so desperate to prove what a wonderful maternal type she is by being super judgemental towards somebody asking for advice has probably got a few more issues than me...

curlew · 12/12/2013 15:42

Please note which side of this "debate" revived the thread this time......

ActionA · 12/12/2013 15:52

So commenting on a discussion I've just read where the last comment was three hours before my comment is "reviving" a thread and somehow not the done thing, curlew?

curlew · 12/12/2013 15:56

Well, when your comment is adding nothing new or helpful, just a slightly hysterical repetition of what several other posters have said, then yes.

ActionA · 12/12/2013 15:57

And your comment on my comment was helpful in what way, exactly, Pot?

Kind regards,

Kettle.

curlew · 12/12/2013 15:59

I was just pointing out that this thread would probably be best just to quietly disappear.

ActionA · 12/12/2013 16:05

And so you thought you'd help that happen by chipping in with a sarky comment? Hmm

And you can think my posts are unhelpful and "nothing new", of course, but my hope that they might highlight quite how silly the UberMums sound and make them think twice about hijacking a thread asking for advice with their own self centered twittering about how great they are.

puntasticusername · 12/12/2013 17:47

I like the cut of your jib, ActionA. Not honestly sure how much value there is in continuing the thread though, points have been done to death and no one seems very likely to change their minds.

ParenthoodJourney · 12/12/2013 18:39

I agree puntasticusername and actiona. It has been said numerous times that we understood their point of view, we understood that they didn't agree and they had a right to not agree as did I and put across advice. But not in the way they did. It was truly awful how they guilt induced, used an unnecessary choice of words and spoke about how wonderful they are. But there still seems to be a stubborn attitude. Only one has apologised, the others are still saying oh well I will never never agree, no ones asking you too. Just to say sorry and that maybe you should have advised more kindly and not spoke about how fantastic you are repeatedly. They don't seem like very supportive mums net community memebers and after this thread I don't think they ever will be or neither will they realise the point we have tried to put across, I really wouldn't waste any more of your time.

ActionA · 12/12/2013 19:28

Fair enough :)

puntasticusername · 12/12/2013 19:34

Well said Parenthood

Justonething · 06/03/2016 22:14

I had to sign up to this just to get this off my chest. Whether you agree with CIO or not, it's been going on for a long time. When I see people posting negative comments onto a thread that clearly states the worried mum is not looking for negativity it makes me wonder, who's child is better off, the one with the mother who spends her time carefully deciding how to help her family, trying to work through every solution and looking for as much advice as possible, or the mother who goes onto the internet in her spare time and goes out of her way to try and make women who need support feel guilty with a sense of superiority they got from reading a couple if articles.

Karmyn · 24/07/2017 22:43

What a bunch of judgemental mums! How dare you sit behind your computer and judge this mum for trying her best with her little one... None of you are perfect and I bet you don't get it right all of the time. But you sit there attacking her and making her feel like she's a bad mum when she's not!!! We are meant to stick together and support each other not tear each other down. All of you need to use your words more wisely next time even if you disagree there are nicer ways to speak to someone.
It's been quite a few years since this post happened and I bet her child is fine.
#thinkbeforeyouspeak

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