Trying cry it out tonight..how do I handle night waking

[PreemieBlessing]

So I'm at my wits end. 7mo cut his two molk teeth and now he doesn't seem that fussy with teething so I want to try cio method. He can't settle himself without my help and he wakes almost every hour at night and only wants 1-2 oz milk. He has two feeds as he can't settle at 2am and 5am without milk.

I tried pick up put down but it wasn't effective. I can count on one hand how many nights he's slept through!

I will try cio with no comforting at bed time but how do I handle night wakings after that? I don't want to make it harsh on him..thought I'd tackle those wakings once he manages to put himself to sleep at the beginning of the night.

Has anyone used cio and how did you handle night waking?

" Imo sometimes the mother's well being and mh have to come first and if that means leaving the baby to cry for a short period-then so be it."

Absolutely. That is very different from deliberately planning to leave a baby to cry for as long as it takes- in this case, an hour.

ideas.time.com/2012/05/10/the-science-behind-dr-sears-does-it-stand-up/

Read this everyone instead of spouting nonsense please

roweeena

If you were upset & distressed, crying uncontrollable for an hour, trapped with no way of moving towards to another human for comfort, having to wait for a familiar face, a soothing voice, with tears & snot running down your face, your chest heaving & hurting...

Would you like it? Would you feel happy that your cries & distress were ignored, when you knew that there had to be someone in the house who could comfort you?

If I had had some bad news & I ended up distressed, I would not expect my dh to leave to cry for an hour. He would know that I needed comfort. Hell, my 5yr & 10yr wouldn't leave me to cry controllably for an hour.

Yet you think it is ok to leave a baby in that circumstance?

Differentnames - it is not going to harm her baby

Roweeena- you do know the difference between controlled crying and crying it out, don't you? I ask because you don't seem to......

Pinupgirl

Agree with you in principal. However, an hour is not a short period.

I have had my dd1 in my arms crying uncontrollably for 30 minutes due to missing friends etc when we emigrated. He body was heaving under the sobs, it makes me very sad now to look back on it. It was all I could do to stop myself from crying with her (I was trying not to show her my own upset at that time)

The baby may not grow up with any kind of memory of this, but I am sorry, hearing your child cry like that for an extended period of time is heartbreaking & I don't know how people can stand by & listen all in the name of sleep.

Babies don't sleep well. If you can't handle that, don't have them.

roweeena

I would say that a child in distress is being harmed, actually. Crying louder & louder, harder & harder waiting for comfort, but none coming...you think that is not harmful?

You are kidding yourself.

"sometimes babies cry for no reason".

Actually they do cry for reasons, we might not always know what they are.

I have left my babies to cry but not for long and it went against my instincts. That was the bit that got me - the OP says she felt instinctively it was the right thing to do. P

To be honest OP I do not expect that even those in favour of CIO leave it that long. Was he a premmie? Just your user name says premmie that would make his corrected age younger than 7 months so he just is not ready yet.

different-but some babies do sleep well. My first 2 dcs were sleeping through the night by a few months old. The op began her post with the words "at wits end"-that is enough for me to suggest that she needs support not posters rushing to put the boot in to try and make themselves feel better.

You don't actually get a medal for being a mummy martyr after all.

Of course they do, one of mine did herself.

But he is a baby, a small baby that is teething( so already in discomfort) & needing comfort. His needs were not being met for an hour. That is a hell of a long time for a baby who just wanted his mum.

It doesn't make you a fucking martyr to answer to your babies needs.

I also think that people who don't wish to respond to their babies' cries in the night should not have babies...they should buy themselves a tiny tears doll and have done with it.

You don't actually get a medal for being a mummy martyr after all.

What does that actually mean though in the context of this thread? I agree by the way that the mother needs support but I also believe she needs to take a step back in what she is doing because it is way too much for a very, very small baby to cry that long. So I see a baby needing support too.

You don't get a medal for feeding them either - or cooking for them or cleaning up after they are sick. And it's not much fun, so why bother? They need to learn important life skills like these.

Why be a martyr.

I have left DS to CIO once: we were having a horrific week which included caring for DM who had just broken her wrist, we were stopping in her (non-childproof) house and he was 18mo. I really was at my wit's end, had dropped DM at hospital for surgery and when DS refused to go to sleep I left him in his travel cot sat and sobbed on the stairs because I could take no more. It made him more clingy as far as I can tell. This is not a parenting moment I was proud of but we are all human.

My usual technique is "gradual retreat" where each night I sneak a bit further from the cot and after a week or two can just leave him lying there chattering until he drops off on his own. He does go back to needing comfort after illness or teething, he's a baby and needs his mummy. I take my phone and sit so he can't see the screen and MN whilst he drifts off with me there.

rooners-I really think you need to step away from this thread. You are becoming increasingly hysterical-people who leave their babies to self settle so that they can grab a couple of hours of peace are not child abusers.

Ha ha this thread is actually so crazy and bun flighty it is hysterical - people being reported to social services for letting an 18 month old cry? Ha ha rooners you have lost the plot.

I really hope the OP isn't checking this thread anymore as it is just full of ridiculous statements.

I think everyone should just remember that every mother and baby is different and we are all trying to do our best, although our methods and parenting styles are different. Accusing women of abusing or harming there own child because they have decided to take a different path than you on the parenting spectrum is just downright mean. You may disagree with the methods chosen but OP asked for advice and all some posters have done has been downright nasty.

I may not ness agree with the way OP handled things last night and in my first post I pointed out that a 7 month old probably still needs feeding in the night and its not ness realistic to expect him to sleep through yet but she does not deserve the vitriol on this thread. Remember she is most likely a first time mum at her wits end, tired and wanting help. I think some of you should take a step back and look at how you are responding and if it is appropriate.

A girl I know through my running club has a 3 week old and bragged on twitter this week about how she left her to cry herself into a state of exhaustion for 6 hours. 6 HOURS at 3 weeks. I feel so so sad about this... Would any of you say anything?
I am not a fan of CIO, have never left DS to cry, but I know lots of people are. My parents did it with me and I would like to say it never did me any harm but I am a terrible commitment phobe, find it really hard to properly attach, even during my 6 year relationship. But who knows what comes from what. There are so many factors in who we are.

Are you accusing me of lying? This was, at the time, a close-ish friend - she told me herself that she had been placed on a register by social services. It was about maybe 6 years ago. She too thought it ridiculous. I did not comment but distanced myself from the friendship as it made me so uncomfortable.

I could give you names so you could check it out for yourselves but that would be breaching all sorts of common sense so obviously it's unfeasible.

You can consider me a liar if you wish but I'm not.

I'm not hysterical. I do think that children need protecting from the utter stupidity of some parents though.

She may have been put on a register to be checked by social services but I very much doubt its because of letting a baby cry in a short sleep training method.

Your comments are sensationalist and inaccurate. I am in a profession that deals with child protection and believe me social services are drowning in cases they don't have time to follow up what your describing, there simply must be more to it. I'm not calling you a liar I just don't think your statements are accurate or fully informed.

Polly that's child neglect at 3 weeks. Little tummys can't go 6 hours between feeds. Please report her. :(