Trying cry it out tonight..how do I handle night waking

[PreemieBlessing]

So I'm at my wits end. 7mo cut his two molk teeth and now he doesn't seem that fussy with teething so I want to try cio method. He can't settle himself without my help and he wakes almost every hour at night and only wants 1-2 oz milk. He has two feeds as he can't settle at 2am and 5am without milk.

I tried pick up put down but it wasn't effective. I can count on one hand how many nights he's slept through!

I will try cio with no comforting at bed time but how do I handle night wakings after that? I don't want to make it harsh on him..thought I'd tackle those wakings once he manages to put himself to sleep at the beginning of the night.

Has anyone used cio and how did you handle night waking?

Oh I can now see that five of my posts were deleted. I'd really appreciate a breakdown of that if you have a moment MNHQ.

I thought we were allowed to criticise an action or a decision but not an individual.

I would like to know exactly how thopse posts (all of them) contravened guidelines, because as far as I can see the goalposts have moved a little, and I would not want to get it wrong again.

At this point I would just like to, er, woman up and apologise for anything I have said on this thread that was unreasonable, unhelpful or in any way upsetting to anyone. It's a topic I feel fairly strongly about - as all of us here do - and in addition, I'm 38 weeks pregnant and so am not always as temperate in my remarks as I would ordinarily like to be. I'm truly sorry if I was out of order. Peace and love, everybody!

Stop digging yourself a bigger hole rooners-and do what the poster above has done-offer a decent apology. Personally I think the fact you have 5 posts deleted speaks volumes.

I have no wish to upset anyone. But I'm not ever going to say it's OK to set out to let a baby cry for an hour. If a mother in desperation puts her baby somewhere safe while she gets a breather then I can understand that. But deliberately leaving a baby to cry for an hour in order to teach it a "valuable lesson"...... No, I am never going to say that's OK.

Agreed Curlew. It breaks my heart to think of babies being deliberately ignored like this.

No one has asked anyone to agree. Just to be respectful and whether it is said her behaviour or her as a person is 'fu*** cruel' doesn't really make too much difference here, those words are still completely unnnessesary and I would be very upset by this comment if it had been me. so I can completely understand why a number of posts have been deleted. And the mention if social services, well - gosh. MNHQ are giving a polite reminder that this is a place for support, respect, advice and help. If you can't offer any of those things why comment? To state your opinion in the way it was stated once was bad enough but to be totally relentless and keep coming back to add more - that's bullying. Your views were more than heard. Maybe just drop it now?

"No one has asked anyone to agree."

I'm not prepared to remain silent, either.

Oh dear. I thought this thread had turned a corner but I see that being supportive is clearly beyond some posters.

Supportive of what? Leaving a baby to cry? I cannot support that because I disagree with it so fundamentally.

MsMiggins, I completely agree. We should support people to make sensible decisions regarding their defenceless babies if they are struggling to manage, not condone actions that are harmful to babies - the child's basic welfare should be paramount, and certainly should be prioritised over any convenience of the parents.

Oh ffs. Are you being serious. The woman is a new mother who has had a difficult time already. She is tire and as states at her wits end - she was desperate and was advised of CIO. She didn't know any better, she was tied and thought it was ok. Did it for one night found it very difficult never did it again now stays by his cot. What do you want to happen to this woman before you pipe down? You want her to go to prison? You want her child taken away? Pipe down for crying out loud your acting like you've never made a parenting mistake !!!! Jesus. Leave the lady alone.

Bullies.

Parenthood- if everyone had said "U do what U think best, Hun, U know ur babs best" she would not have decided to change her mind.

Being supportive does not mean blind agreement.

And actually, I think this thread isn't about the OP- she has decided to do things differently, and I hope her life is getting easier. It's all the others who have been vociferously defending CIO that I have an issue with.

Well I think it's good you have now stated your comments are no longer about the OP I think that's an important comment so she knows. And i have said many times no one had asked you or anyone else to agree with her or tell her to do it - I didn't agree or tell her She knows what's best. But like I said Before, just don't think there is any need to be as mean as some people have. I don't see why we can't all just agree on that, be pleased with her decision and be done with it.

A lot of my comments were not about the OP but about the process of CIO and people who advocate it, if anyone had bothered to read them carefully.

The OP was barely here; I think she posted about three times and in between the conversation became far more general.

I have apologised - not for my stance on CIO but for upsetting the OP. I am not sure what else I can say wrt that.

And I am not concerned at digging myself a hole, as I think the bullying as people are calling it has gone in both directions.

Your continuing to put the boot in after I had apologised profusely was not particularly necessary, but I did not protest at that as I can see that my strong stance on this and the way I phrased some of my comments was perceived as very rude and upsetting by some parties, and that is not what I intended, and I did not want to get drawn into a longer argument on the thread.

I really think we could afford to leave it be now. I shall say no more, the OP has long gone, sadly, and I am sure that from many perspectives this has all been very much my doing.

If you think I am pleased about that then you're very much mistaken.

I will say one more thing actually. This thread was very triggering for me, and perhaps that coloured my rather intense response to it. I know that this doesn't excuse some of the things I said - and I was desperate to make the OP stop what she was doing - but it might help to give a reason and that is it.

night all.

I personally wouldn't view my posts as bullying in any form. I was pleading with posters to be less harsh and to be thankful for changing her mind. Goodnight X

No I wouldn't say your posts were bullying parent-quite the opposite and you certainly weren't deleted.

MsMiggins, I completely agree. We should support people to make sensible decisions regarding their defenceless babies if they are struggling to manage, not condone actions that are harmful to babies - the child's basic welfare should be paramount, and certainly should be prioritised over any convenience of the parents.

sorry, internet went down, so didn't see this posted already

We should support people to make sensible decisions regarding their defenceless babies if they are struggling to manage, not condone actions that are harmful to babies - the child's basic welfare should be paramount. Well of course, I don't think anyone disagree with this? There's just a better way of doing and saying things and advising people.

One thing that pisses me off is the saying that a "happy mummy=a happy baby". It's so untrue.

While I am not advocating martydom motherhood does need a lot of self sacrifice. Getting up in the night to sooth a baby is part of being a mother.

Oh, great. Really glad I bothered opening this one again

So people are still entirely missing the point, then.

puntasticusername - same here.

Think I'm staying away from MN for a while...