My son treats me like shit because he doesn't like his sister

[JustFabulous]

No way round this, is there? .

{desperate}

Oooo Inspired idea for the email. Unfortunately the little toe rag had actually sent it. He messaged a friend saying his sister liked a boy in her class so she is upset and I am not impressed. I rather rashly sent him to his room until DH got home but found him on the step. I gave him the option of 11 minutes on the step and an apology to his sister or time in his room until daddy got home. He chose the former.

I am forever saying something then changing my mind, read giving in, so need advice for that too please since you are all so clever

No, options are good, win win all round He apologised and chose to do his time. All good.

DH home. Got home early and scared the life out of me.

I have told him I am in charge as I want him to see how I have been doing it. He is fine with that. He has his jobs (feed cat when she decides she wants to eat and bring in the washing). He is getting us a takeaway . I am on a diet so this is a huge treat.

Enjoy your treat, you deserve it.

I've just finished downloading some audio books, so am off to relax upstairs while DH cooks our tea.

Gotta love the weekend

No takeaway as food needs using up but I am having some time off tomorrow while DH takes the kids to the cinema. I might go and buy some shoes for meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee .

Well done, glad all still going well, and time off tomorrow seems well earned! Glad DH is supportive, that's definitely a bonus- and the more he sees your way working the better, he will start doing it and you will be unstoppable as a team!

I agree, options are fine as long as you stay in charge (which you did!). If option 2 had been, have a lolly and forget about it - then I would be 'advising' you, but you definitely did the right thing. (and that way is a good back up for those times you accidentally say something rash like 'go to your room for a month!' -everyone does that accidentally occasionally!-). As long as you present things as YOU in charge of the options it's fine.

Thank you .

Wow your doing so well JustFabulous.

I LOVE the idea of making the cat the favorite child. Simply love it.

I am fed up and DH is annoyed with me.

He sent me off shopping while he took the kids to the cinema.

Just as I was leaving DS1 said he has no tshirts and DD can't find anything nice to wear as all too small. How many bloody times have we been out and I have asked the kids if they need clothes? How many times have I told DD not to just wear the same things over and over and to let me know when she grows out of things?

No skirts anywhere that were her size, what she would wear and not tarty. Eventually found her some socks. Who knew socks were so tricky to find and when will M&S sort their children's wear out. The clothes are awful and not age appropriate. Managed to get 2 tshirts for ds1 but no swimming or PE bags. It was so busy, people were walking so slowly then stopping. I was close to tears tbh. I couldn't find the one shop I wanted to go in as I knew I would be able to get a skirt for me. Then it took twice as long to get home as a woman decided she would get out of the car to pick flowers from the embankment. I feel like crying.

Just played with a tin of silly string. Kids thought it was hilarious. I feel better now .

It is too hot to be shopping...glad you feel better now.

I think it's optimistic to hope for clothes updates from kids-I'm still wearing too small clothes as an adult ,I'd say online clothes shopping is your friend. I got pe/swim bags in asda and clarks had more expensive ones.

It's lovely when something like silly string can reverse the mood. My friend pinned up a sign in her house that said 'remember we have music' to remind her to switch on radio and have a mad dance when things got bad.

I disagree about the clothes. They should be aware of when they need things because they don't have any pants for example that fit. I remind them regularly about letting me know and also ask when out if we need anything.

DH has gone off in a huff. Let's hope he doesn't drown when he is canoeing.

They all just kicked off with lots of shouting at each other and me but I carried on as normal and just stayed calm and bored policeman like.

I also do regular sorts of their clothes too so I am not expecting them to do it all 100% on their own.

DS2 was really rude to me. I wasn't sure how to respond so I ignored him and shut the door. He eventually came back down and asked for a snack and then gave me the apology I asked for. Is that right?

Calm now.

It sounds like you're responding beautifully exactly as a bored policeman would and achieving your aims in a calm way. I really do believe your dc will grow out of behaviour like this far quicker now you're respoding in this way-they have nothing to feed off.

Re the clothes we all have different standards and I'm disorganized at times. I'm sure your dc will grow into organized adults because of your example-more than mine will

Hopefully your dh will have canoed his huff out-perhaps silly string would work on him...

i agree with the bored policemen thing.

have you done anything about implementing the chores chart yet?

you need to make a family charter. call a family meeting and make a massive board together of your House Rules.

Not yet. I have been rather busy.

DD is really pushing my buttons the rude moo.

I am ignoring. Need to train DH too ignore too.

Thank fuck she has just left the room.

DD is a PITA.

She says ds1 has hit a tennis ball into the guinea pig run and scared them. Because I haven't bollocked him she is saying I don't care about the pigs.

When I was ignoring her earlier having said I didn't want to listen to that nonsense she said "You are still listening to me, I can tell."

She has to have the last word constantly.

I really want to smack her but I won't. I can feel I am riled but I am ignoring. I don't want to go back to the crap mummy I was before. And I can tell I want to smack her because really I just want to smack something because I am mad but I am typing nonsense on here instead.

She won't empty the dishwasher and has now gone to her room.

I have a headache.

DS1 has been winding DD up so now she is taking it out on me.

DS1 told dd he has cut up her precious piglet.

I got it back.

Told dd she could have him back when she has done the dishwasher. She has made it quite plain she will not be emptying the dishwasher.

I am staying calm but this is wearing.

DS1 was very rude to me.

I have reread the thread but can't find the advice for what I am meant to do when they will not do as they are told.

Help please.

I think it must be a case of playing the long game.

DD has done the dishwasher and is now being a bit too silly with DS2.

DS1 did his time and is now bringing the washing in, breaking off to be ride to me. I ignored and pointed to where he needed to put the ball.

I know it's wearing, but you're doing so well. You didn't smack/didn't shout, kids doing as they're told in the end and you've even managed to inject some fun in at one point today.
I really don't think you need more advice , just confidence to keep on with what you're doing.

I thought I would be criticised for feeling like I wanted to smack . I can totally see now that smacking is all about you losing your temper and not discipline.

Thank you defineme.

I really have a little rude madam for a daughter. I would have never dared answer anyone back the way she does.

I walked away but how does she learn it is not on to do it if I don't respond?