Self loathing procrastinators and perpetual under achievers sign in here

[Bumperlicious]

Just been on the 3 things I don't know about you thread and there seems to be quite a few people who are procrastinators but hate it.

I am full of good ideas and potential but rarely motivated enough to do anything about it. I have always been intelligent but have to some extent squandered it on trashy novels and trashy tv. I feel like I just haven't found my niche in life. I try lots of things but don't often stick to them. I have a good degree and MSc and am in a respectable but not well paid job which I don't really enjoy.

I have a 3 year old and a 3 month old and feel permanently top tired to do anything but feel crap at not achieving anything.

Anyone else care to join me?

Hell yes - I'll join you! I have a 3 year old and a 21 month old.
Least you've achieved reading - even if it is just 'trashy novels' - my god, I haven't read a novel in over 2 years, but keep buying books and rearranging the ones I intend to read...there's just no time. Is that just an excuse?! Is there time, but it's just what we choose do with it?!
Also in a job I can't bear. But tis tres easy and fits in with the kids. But long to find 'my niche'/discover what it is I really want to do - mainly engage and USE MY BRAIN AGAIN! etc...

Do you work FT/PT? Anything in particualr you're interested in/want to do/want to change?

you have a job and 2 dcs and you feel crap about not achieving anything? Christ the bar is set high for women these days isn't it?

Sign me up! I think you've hit the nail on the head when you say you haven't found your niche. I would love to do something but i just don't know what it is. There are so many things i'd like to do but I can't just follow one through to the end.

I have worked p/t since dd1. My job is ok but just isn't right for me. I just can't help but feel I should be doing more. I grew up wanting to change the world. And while I am changing the worlds of two little girls it just isn't enough. I feel unfulfilled. If I knew what I wanted to do I would try and find away to do it. In the meantime I am just plodding from one day to the next.

Me, can I join?

I'll write more, when I can be arsed...

Well, I am a self loather certainly.

i have got a great job and I love it but spend most of the day waiting to be caught out, and when I speak in meetings half expect people to say 'who the fuck are you? Piss off you know bugger all about any of it'

Look in the mirror and think I look like a pile of crap.

I am very reserved and know I came across as frosty and standoffish.

If you met me you would think I was the most confident person ever (and a stuck up cow) bvut inside I am a nervous wreck and I think you are laughing at my shoes or something.

And if anyone ever says anything horrible I dwell on it for years and years.

And I never do anything outside work. i have no hobbies or skills. Je suis un boring bastard.

lol at putting this in behaviour/ development!

i'm 40 this month 3 dcs. one deeply unsatisfactory job. and an unfinished msc with yet another extension. procrastination is my middle name.

but i'm on my final extension and the msc has to be finished by summer.

i know where i want to be. i'm just so terrible at prioritising that i can't seem to get there.

but i'm currently having a 'now is the time' moment.

in an ideal world, where would you all be in terms of work/ life?

Can I join please? Am intelligent person but since becoming sahm nearly 3 years ago I have vegetated. I do some work, I do volunteering of various sorts, but I can 'y manage to keep on top of the house . I put it off (both DC at school now) and it is basically horrible :(

And then I feel cross with myself but not enough to change

I try to keep my procrastinating to a part-time level, the rest of the time I simply ignore that whinging voice and get on with my chores lol.

I want to join this group! I have a 4 year old DD whom I adore, but I feel so frustrated intellectually, but at the same time trapped in a circle of tiredness, an uninspiring job and the grind of houswork, childcare etc.

I suppose one thing we have in common on this thread is that we want MORE without being able to define exactly what MORE means for us. I know that I want to write, for example, but this is probably a silly dream.

Interesting to know that others feel this way. That shouldn't surprise me, but it's heartening to feel I'm not the only one wiht this frustration.

I do feel that if I knew what I really wanted to do I'd be much more motivated. I spend an inordinate amount of time going through careers in my head.

the problem with no name, and all that.

Argh.

I am procrastinating.

The house is a tip.

I am not happy

In life people rarely have the time or energy to do a lot of things very well. Doing a lot of things badly is very frustrating (though often woman's lot, for reasons amply discussed on other threads on MN over the years). Try to do fewer things to a higher standard and abandon things that will never give you any satisfaction however hard you try.

And if your house is a tip, enlist some help to set it to rights.

Ooh, me too! Like Florence I'm a SAHM. Quit work a year ago because I couldn't cope with working (PT), the kids (now 5 and 2.5) and keeping the house habitable. Hoped that once I became a SAHM, my house would be immaculate. I'm beginning to think I haven't got it in me to have a tidy house. It would be ok if I didn't care, but I really do!

When I was a teenager my mother used to call me Manana. (That's not to rhyme with banana - insert squiggly thing over first 'n'.)

Anyway, 30 years later I'm still waiting to get started. And if I did begin anything, I'd be crap at it.

Hmm I've just been on the 'addicted to MN' thread.

I'm a procrastinator and always have been but I'm sure it's become worse since discovering MN.

My house is not desperately untidy but it does desperately need re-furnishing and decorating. I should be pursuing my hobbies which could actually lead to freelance work if I played my cards right.

I'm a bit like you as well, Getorff - people think I'm standoffish and cold but I'm a bundle of insecurities. Not helped that I'm a brash northener surrounded by gentle countryfolk, so my witty bon mots with which I try to break the ice scare people.

I'm in. In fact, I'm here right now, putting off that very next essay that needs to be marked. When I feel positive, I allow myself 2 mins of MN as a 'reward'. The rest of the time I work like a dog and STILL beat myself up in between for not being good enough.

I would love to do more things to a higher standard Bonsoir, if only I were able or indeed knew how to prioritise them.

There is a great book called "Do it Tomorrow" by Mark Foster.

It's all about having a realistic list of stuff to do in any one day, ways to bet the urge to procrastinate, ways to prioritise projects and to deal with interruptions etc.

It has really helped me. I'm not perfect but am much better and now have a way of prioritising my work which really works for me most of the time which is a massive improvement.

However would probably procrastinate about reading it...

Yeah, the title says it all really...

I am joining this thread, soon, when I get a moment....

I always read the start of interesting threads then mark them to watch then never get round to reading them, bit like a virtual bookshelf.

there is a website and blog too but you'll probably spend 3 days reading it rather than doing your work!