Middle name dilemma - honoring all but one grandparent

[Star1995xxx]

We have two boys and are soon to have a baby girl. We agreed years ago that my husband would get to choose our first boys middle name and I’d get to choose the first girl.
DS1 - has DH’s dad’s name
DS2 - has my dad’s name
DD1 - due soon and I want to choose my mum’s name

The dilemma is that we are about 95% sure that this is our last baby so we’re considering using both mum’s names so that one grandparent isn’t left out. Both names are perfectly nice.

The issue is that we prefer the idea of just one middle name as our sons only have one - no one else in our families have two. However, we worry DH’s mum would feel left out and that makes us feel bad.

What does everybody think? Should we stick to just the one middle name we really wanted to pick or give DD both middle names to be fair and keep the peace?

Thanks x

Choose neither. Two middle names is naff and honouring one but not the other is not nice.

I'd give both.

I'd use both

Both

Both or neither

Both

You are massively overthinking this. No one outside immediate family will ever know they have two middle names.

Both. My kids both have two middle names for similar reasons. It would seem to solve your problem 🤷🏻‍♀️

Haha ok thank you. So I’m getting the sense that we should do both. I don’t want to do neither because I’ve always wanted to use my mum’s name as it’s important to me.

I’d use both. Or could they be made into one? Not hyphenated, but a portmanteau. One of me has the middle name Annelise for Anne and Elizabeth.

Give her 2 middle names. I have 1 but both my brothers have 2 middles names, it's never been an issue

Give both or ...
Choose a first name with the same first initial as the other granny.
Choose a first name that is connected to the other granny. Even exactly the same.

Yes both! My DGD has my name as a middle name and I feel so honoured

Use both.

”we prefer the idea of just one as our sons only have one”
But it doesn’t matter what they have, your daughter will live her own life and not always be in a set with your sons, they don’t need to match/fit a style.

@Crispynoodle - this is lovely to hear. I would be over the moon is my children named their children after me one day but I also wouldn’t be upset if they didn’t.

i love having two

@MumofGreyhound - good point.

my sister has 3 and brother has 1

I think you could do either without massive repercussions.

Nobody will really know or care if your DD has two middle names (I have two middle names, and can vouch for this).

But if you really want to give her just one, then... well you can't be 100% sure this is your last baby, can you? And the grandparent definitely can't be 100% sure. And you might only have ended up having one son, in which case one of the grandfathers would have been left out. So it's partly just the luck of the draw.

Personally, I think it would be nice to give her both names. But it's really up to you.

I sense that names are important to my MIL as she named her daughter after herself. Not something I would personally do but it does make me think she cares about names.

both or neither, or is is possible to combine them in some way?

We gave DD both. My mum’s name was always on my list as a middle name, and it works well rhythmically with MIL’s, which is often hyphenated or lengthened (like xx-Rose, Rosie etc) and was in my top 20 names anyway, so was convenient that it’s MIL’s name!

Combining them into one name definitely doesn’t work. I’ve tried but there aren’t really any options.

Could you have one as a first name and one as middle? Depending what they are but you could adapt slightly to make it a bit different. Like Cathy could be Kitty/Katie for example

We’re set on our first name. I do like my MIL’s name as well as my own mum’s name so no issues there.. I just prefer one middle name. That’s the only thing putting me off.